Ep 0137 – Expect the Best!

Laurie smiling broadly in a straw hat
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I love how my smile looks in this one. I took it immediately following the silly tongue selfie (you can see it below). Sometimes we need to be our own comedians!

Podcast Recap

House cleaning bites me in the knee, so hiking is out and the podcast rock is in! I decide to let go of expecting the worst. I tell a story about my miracle party dress. Thanks to Amy from WI, Dawny and Rabbit for their kind comments on a day that was tough for me. Many comment snippets from our old pal, BC Dave. Dawny writes a humorous response to last show. COD goes to every other week for a while.

Laurie makes a weird face with raised eyebrow and sideways tongue

I leave my pride in the fallen leaves and have a GRAND time making silly selfie faces while recording Day 137

Laurie and her friend all dressed up at a party

My friend and I at the swanky LA party thrown by my VO agents, Liz and Jimmy from The Atherton Group. Gotta love when your life looks all glam! (But remember, looks are deceiving – my Mortifying Dusty House of Horrors was still awaiting my return to pumpkin status).


Last show and comments (Including Dawny’s)

My Weight Story Photos

My Mother’s Day Blog Post and comments

Hear again or for the first time, Dave’s wonderful good-bye message and Audio Drama performed by pro voice actors. It starts right around the 1 hour and 40 minute Mark on Day 120. And while you’re at it, listen to the WHOLE big old long thing again, it was a SHOW OF BEAUTY – Filled with BCs, surprises and fun stuff. I think I’ll take a long walk next week and listen again myself.

Dave’s comment to Kevin on Day 135

See Dave’s comments on Day 132

Dave’s greetings on Day 133

Ways to support the show financially


Host: Laurie Weaver

Main Theme: I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1 Used by permission of Josh Woodward under a Creative Commons License

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Motherless Day

Laurie and her Mom
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Mother’s Day is Tough when you are missing your Mom

Spammed by Deals for ‘Mom’

Part of our culture is spending money to celebrate each other and occasions. My inbox has been inundated with deals and last chance offers to honor Mom on her special day. I wish I could join a “Do not remind” list for lost kids who aren’t ready to face up to the fact that they will never again call, post, or sign a card wishing their mom well. My last chance was that Friday I last saw her in the hospital. How carelessly I kissed her cheek and said, “See ya tomorrow, Mommy”.

You just never know.

Last year I used a special to send flowers with free shipping!

Mixed bouquet on a wooden lazy Susan

Mom sent me a photo last year of the flowers I sent for Mother’s Day. They are sitting on the same table where we ate while I was growing up on the Lazy Susan that passed the peas, the ketchup, the salt…

I also called and chatted a few minutes before she went to dinner with my brother and his family.

This year that f’ing FaceBook posted a HUGE reminder first thing. “It’s MOTHER’S DAY!” wish your mom well.

Reminder: Laurie stay off of Facebook.

I’m not sorry that Mother’s Day exists

I loved honoring my Mom and my Grandma. I loved how excited they would be over my childish gifts and handmade art when I was young. I loved sneaking out with Daddy to find presents and to make “pancakes” to surprise Mom. (The most lumpy, terrible, salty mess, which God bless her, she ate enthusiastically with a smile).

I was glad to have the chance to tell her I loved her.

I was glad to be a kid again.

I never knew that little stuff was little and arguments were pointless,

6 photos of baby Laurie in a turquoise frame.

One of the photos I retrieved off of Mom’s phone was this compilation of my baby pictures that hung in Mom’s bedroom. My brother’s was also there.

When Mom died, all that was left was love.

Now she’s gone.

But the love is here – just mixed with tears.

Maybe next year I’ll tie a card to a balloon and watch it soar.

To all of you who are mothers or still have living mothers, Happy Mother’s Day!

To those of us who are missing our loved ones, here’s a kiss and hug from me.
:::Smooches::::: xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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Ep 0136 – Many Shades of Unsexy Grey!

Laurie in her straw hat and sunglasses grins along the trail
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Following a day of rain, it’s all smiles and sunshine on the mountain for Day 136.

Podcast Recap

The unexpected rain causes me to change the day of my hike. I ponder the effects of rigidity and over-flexibility in my life. Dawny greets our new BCs from last show and updates us on her health. Kevin replies to Sue from the U.K. and Dawny who both supported him on the Bravery Report. The importance of BCs supporting each other and 6 tips to help do that. Welcome to new BC Mar. Dawny has special Foolish Fun for bird watchers! Special guest Mark and I reminisce about the many different shades we’ve experienced in our 23 years of marriage.

Purple wildflowers bloom amongst sage brush

Wild flowers blooming along the trail. Always reminds me to ‘Bloom where you are planted!’

Smiling - Laurie and Mark under the twinkle lights of the ballroom

Mark and I celebrate our 23rd wedding anniversary in style by ballroom dancing under the twinkle lights in Pasadena.


Last show and comments

BC Kevin’s Story on the Bravery Report

New BC Mar’s comment on Day 5

Ways to send audio to the show for Foolish Fun, Laurie’s Stories etc.

Ways to support the show financially


Host: Laurie Weaver
Foolish Fun Announcer: Mark Weaver
Foolish Funner: Dawny
Special Guest Interview: Mark Weaver

Main Theme: I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1 Used by permission of Josh Woodward under a Creative Commons License

Sounds used in Laurie’s Foolish Fun Intro

  • Slide Whistle sounds
  • Background Tune/Beat
  • Girl’s Laughter
  • Phone Ring
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Ep 0135 – Deer Time!

Laurie in profile on the hiking trail gazing uphill at something.
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I spy an unexpected fellow traveler on the trail.

Podcast Recap

I tell my heart-pounding deer tale. I let go of time pressure and discover how time can be a guidepost instead. I share a few paragraphs from my latest blog post about overcoming fear and Dawny’s courageous response. We say hello to new BCs Taylor and Amanda who posted on the Compulsive Overeating Diary page on FB. Comments from last week’s show from BCs Dawny and Rabbit. A touching and brave call from new BC Kevin who last called the bravery hotline on day 130. I ponder grief, connection and how we grow into new identities.

A deer in the trail.

The unexpected deer shares its gaze before bounding up the hill.

Laurie holds a Roland recorder under a tree

Just me and my trusty Roland05 setting in to record Day 135


My blog post about fear and Dawny’s comment.

Last show and comments from Dawny and Rabbit

FB Page and Comments by new BCs Taylor and Amanda

The episode featuring the first call from BC Kevin from NY

Bravery Report with Kevin from NY’s story and comments by Dawny and Sue from the UK

Ways to support the show financially


Host: Laurie Weaver
Guest Caller: BC Kevin from NY

Main Theme: I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1 Used by permission of Josh Woodward under a Creative Commons License

Sunny day on the hiking trail through the foothills.

Another beautiful day on the trail down the mountain. No deer shared this part of the journey.

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Blown Into Chaos by Devil Winds

Fire pit area in complete disarray with cushions tossed, leaves everywhere, branches leaning on everything
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The Santa Anas wreaked absolute havoc in our yard.

Do you ever get tossed by “Devil Winds” in your life?

Here in Southern California, our Santa Ana Devil Winds lately tossed everything pell-mell and pummeled our back yard with leaves, branches and chaos. I felt the same inside. I am absolutely terrified by the sound, the shaking glass of the windows and the looming threat of our neighbor’s untrimmed swaying giant of a tree that moans, snaps and bends over us like Godzilla stalking Tokyo.

Huge towering tree seen from below looking up to the sky

The gigantic tree behind our house is terrifying in the wind. It belongs to our neighbor and so we have no control over getting it trimmed.

This is an actual physical threat that disrupts my sleep as our room is located on the second floor, with only a flimsy roof between us and it. Our sturdy house that has withstood earthquakes with ease, feels like a folded paper boat among the swells of a tidal wave. Our cats go crazy, I go crazy, and only Mark remains calm, having lived his entire life with Santa Anas.

Physical Vs. Emotional Fear

Since the terror comes from a physical source, I can take what steps I can. I move into our quest room, which doubles as my sound studio. This feels safer as it is an interior room on the first floor, cocooned by the rest of the house and has the added benefit of sound blankets shielding me from the racket.

Disaster may very well still strike, but taking action has helped my compulsive mind deal with the fear.

Later on I pondered my reaction and realized that emotionally, I also have phantom Santa Anas that pummel my emotions and self-esteem. And I try to do the same as I did with the physical threat. I hole up, safe from the scary world by isolating, distracting with food, diet thoughts or endless hours watching reruns of Survivor.

When is Safe not Safe?

In our fight or flight world, I used to be self-programmed for flight. Avoid people who might make me feel badly, avoid situations where I might fail. Cover up feelings. Don’t admit the wind is out there. Stay safe under the emotional sound blanket provided by Robot Aliens. Cocoon like a swaddled baby using ice-cream as a thumb to suck.

Trouble is, by holing up and denying my emotional fear, I didn’t go out and experience the world or my possible part in it. I always assumed I was no good. I always felt that good things came by luck or via the auspices of others and that bad things were what came from me.

How could I ever learn differently if I never tried?

Fear is real

These days we can experience fear in real life, like I do from the looming tree, we can experience it in movies and VR, we can also experience it in the prison of our mind and habits. Like well done VR, the prison of our mind feels real. Our heart pounds just as hard. Our palms sweat. Our warning bell voices caution or berate us.

How do we overcome and break out?

First, by admitting we feel it. Whoa, there Laurie, that is SCARY. Yep, it is. But which is scarier? Never being you in the world, never getting to experience life? Or letting a feeling flow through you?

Just because you feel it, doesn’t mean it’s permanent.

Second, take one small step toward your goal or wish or dream. Search for an online writing group. Find a singing teacher. Research charities that could use your help. Find a recipe that you would enjoy eating.

Thirdly, imagine the step after that. Signing up for the writing group, contacting the singing teacher, picking the charity that most speaks to you, writing down a shopping list for the recipe. Sit with this for awhile. Is it overwhelming? Is the tree still looming? Imagine the next step every day until it feel familiar. It might take weeks or minutes.

Then take that next step and repeat.

It also works for hard conversations, for inner work, for allowing yourself to feel what’s real for you.

Devil Winds are not easy, inside or out, but you are worth the risk to discover how to fly despite them.


Comfy chairs around a black iron fire pit on a stone patio

With some work, thanks to Mark, peace and Zen is restored to our backyard

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