HOORAY FOR ME! I hiked up the mountain and got Day 98 published.
I think I may be literally ‘climbing out’ of my depression. I faced two big hurdles during the weekend.
- Pressure and corrective feedback in the sound booth
- Climbing up a mountain, in HEAT, when it was hard to just roll out of bed
It was HOT hiking!
My first instinct was just to go do a bonus show with no prep (probably the most reasonable choice in the middle of depression), but my list of new BCs to greet and the things I wanted to cover were piling up. I also REALLY wanted to use Suz’s brave commentary about show 97 during show 98. What’s a depressed, perfectionistic-trying-to-be-all-about-progess podcaster to do?
Well, I took it one step at a time. I made morning coffee and thought, ‘How about I write the segment where I greet Lisa?” Then, ‘How about I listen to my voice acting to see if I have a story I can be brave enough to tell there?”.
So step by step I wrote this really long show. It took about twice as long as usual, and by the time the show was prepped it was late in the day for hiking.
So I thought, “How about I drive up to the mountain park and just enjoy the outside weather?”
Then, “How about I send a photo to Sophie on IG and tell her my music?” (I usually do this and like it)
Then, “How about I just walk as far as I can and enjoy my music?”
And so forth all the way up the mountain.
It took twice as long as usual.
Same for recording the show. I had a LOT to record, and so my voice acting training helped, and most of my takes were clean enough to use as is without tons of editing. BUT I hadn’t brought enough water for recording 90 minutes on a hot day, so it was an act of will that I finished. (you can hear that I read the blog post segment at the end of the show as if my pants were on fire, because I was literally running out of spit and knew I would not have the chance to re-record it in the same place with the same sound if I made a mistake).
Then one step at a time for hours to edit all of the parts together for this long, long show. AND I had to try and tell my voice acting story by choosing the moments to share, and this had to be edited several times with Mark’s advice to make it run as I wished.
Luckily for me, Mark made me a sandwich at this point.
Smooch to you Mark, my love!
The show was published just before midnight. So I wrote, hiked, recorded, edited AND published a complex, long show – even though I AM still in the middle of depression. SO TAKE THAT YOU STUPID DEPRESSION! I can feel you, but I can find a way to do the best I can anyway. You are real, but I can still live my life. (Victory for me, and it isn’t every day that I could have managed it. I’m giving myself props because this was a large workload even when I feel my best, and it was a miracle that I did this yesterday).
AND it is great the show is up as we are taking a few days of R & R at the beach.
*Daily statuses are not part of the blog’s email notification. When you enter your email under where it says SUBSCRIBE TO POSTS VIA EMAIL, you will be notified of regular blog posts and when podcast episodes are released. I didn’t want to clog your inbox with my daily statuses. However, the automatic publicize feature will inform you on my show FB page, my AdventureLaurie twitter account, google+ on its show page, and Tumblr.
BB (Body Balance) number 8. Sleep: 8 hours divided (good both sets, yay!). Tummy/Gut: balanced and playing nice. Hungry within one hour of waking, regular breakfast satisfied. Energy: Moderate. Mood: proud of myself.
BB is my personal criteria, and I don’t think too hard about it. I ask myself at the keyboard, what is my BB? A number between 1-10, including halves, pops into my head. I write it in my post Then I figure out why it is higher or lower and gently make note.
If you are interested these are my measures.
- Sleep. Quality and Amount.
- Tummy/Gut – If I ate what my body asked for, usually above and below the belly button feel balanced. Ate too much, below the belly button feels more full. Ate too little, the reverse.
- Am I hungry within 1 hour of waking? I have found that I feel best if I am hungry within 1 hour of waking. This tends to make my eating day even and not heavy on food in the evening. But I don’t eat if not hungry unless I’m about to ride or hike. I’ve learned I need to fuel these morning activities, or I’ll bonk.
- What is my energy level? Subjective, but telling.
- A quick look at my mood.
The Bravery Coach
TheBraveryCoach daily tweet is a morning mediation on how I either did, or can incorporate an aspect of bravery into my day. It is cheerful. It is esteem building. Those who want to follow these on Twitter may, by searching for the hashtag #bravery or by seeing my profile: