Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary

January 22, 2015

Status 1-22-15*

HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN, JIGGETY-JIG – We returned from Ventura yesterday and noticed a dirty haze hanging over our mountains as we approached. Now usually, we have pretty good air quality, as the winds from our mountains blow the gunk down onto poor Burbank, in the valley. In fact, it was dirty enough, I wondered if we had another wildfire smoldering in the hills?

But no, just more truck traffic, road construction, and a still day. Thus we speak about some of the downside of living in Southern California.

Speaking of downside, I was so hopeful in Ventura that my mood was snapping to the up side of the wheel, and it is. But, as would be usual for anyone, depressed or not, coming back to routine and chores and ‘What shall we cook for dinner?’ after blue skies, waves and service brings the emotional plane down to a lower altitude.

This morning I’m awake again after not enough hours of sleep. What is it? Maybe the mental list of what’s to come playing like a broken record? My bed is very comfortable. Maybe, Tiger the Cat, snuck in to cuddle me awake, having missed me? I usually ban the poor creature for just that reason, but found him wedged between my side and the pillow this morning. But this sleepy alertness doesn’t feel like Tiger. It feels like my mood is slipping again down the slippery slope.

In fact, my affect felt so flat, I had to look up a list of emotions to help me pinpoint it:

Wheel showing lists of emotions and how they connect

Wheel based on Robert Plutchik’s theory of emotions from http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emotions

Wheel design by Machine Elf 1735Own work. Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons.

Today

Today I chose pensive. Not quite sad, kind of contemplative type of word. It fits.

Off to therapy and a walk around Descanso. I hope, besides inhaling the cheer of the flowers, to buy an old fashioned paper calendar. I’ve had it with the updates to my phone’s software that make it almost an act of God to figure out one’s schedule. It used to be so easy. Tap calendar and look. No more. Too many steps to see an entry, to many ways to inadvertently make screens BIG, or tiny or last month, or flown away by the many, ‘shortcuts’ built in for gestures and swipes that change so often I can’t be bothered to keep up with them.

*Daily statuses are not part of the blog’s email notification. When you enter your email under where it says SUBSCRIBE TO POSTS VIA EMAIL, you will be notified of regular blog posts and when podcast episodes are released. I didn’t want to clog your inbox with my daily statuses. However, the automatic publicize feature will inform you on my show FB page, my AdventureLaurie twitter account, google+ on its show page, and Tumblr.

Body Balance


BB (Body Balance) number 7.5 Sleep: 5.5 hours undivided (woke up a bit too early). Tummy/Gut: balanced and playing nice. Not Hungry within one hour of waking, but could be because I woke up early. No hike this AM, so will wait. Energy: Moderate. Mood: Pensive.

BB is my personal criteria, and I don’t think too hard about it. I ask myself at the keyboard, what is my BB? A number between 1-10, including halves, pops into my head. I write it in my post Then I figure out why it is higher or lower and gently make note.

If you are interested these are my measures.

  1. Sleep. Quality and Amount.
  2. Tummy/Gut – If I ate what my body asked for, usually above and below the belly button feel balanced. Ate too much, below the belly button feels more full. Ate too little, the reverse.
  3. Am I hungry within 1 hour of waking? I have found that I feel best if I am hungry within 1 hour of waking. This tends to make my eating day even and not heavy on food in the evening. But I don’t eat if not hungry unless I’m about to ride or hike. I’ve learned I need to fuel these morning activities, or I’ll bonk.
  4. What is my energy level? Subjective, but telling.
  5. A quick look at my mood.

The Bravery Coach

TheBraveryCoach daily tweet is a morning mediation on how I either did, or can incorporate an aspect of bravery into my day. It is cheerful. It is esteem building. Those who want to follow these on Twitter may, by searching for the hashtag #bravery or by seeing my profile:

Daily Bravery Tweets via TheBraveryCoach on Twitter

14 thoughts on “1-22-15

  1. Suzanne

    I know we have an Advice Needed page, but I’m wondering if you think it might be useful at all to have a feelings page, or a rant page, or a rage page (just because it rhymes) or something where people who don’t have their own blogs or who are looking for a kind word of understanding or support to write about feelings that come up while working on IE or other food or weight or body issues to post when it doesnt seem to specifically apply to the current episode or post.
    It’s your page, and your diary, and you have a lot to monitor, etc., so I know it might be too much. It’s just been on my mind lately.

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hi Suz, Cheryl also had that thought – but I’m resistant as that is why we had the Spark People group as that is BUILT for forums and we tried and tried to get BCs to use it, and it just never took off. This site isn’t built as a true forum where participants can post topics etc. and I’m fearful that trying to add this functionality will mess with my podcast feed (all of the technology is kind of tied together, and I’m the only one working in it). So I may, in future add a post page similar to ‘Who are the Brave Companions’, but honestly, none of these have maintained much traction. So for now, I’ve added a paragraph on my on daily statuses encouraging those that have their own thoughts, rants, or challenges to go ahead and post on the status pages. That was part of my original intent on FB – that BCs might like to post how THEIR day was going, or THEIR BB number or equivalent. The comments here can be tracked and will show up as recent comments, and as usual, I will feature some on the show. Hugs and thanks for stepping up with the thought! It’s a good thought, and my hesitation is about me and my time, not that I don’t agree with you. oxoxoxoxxo

      Reply
      1. Suz (Suzanne)

        Oh! I see. Thanks for explaining that. When I was first listening and catching up with all the podcasts for the first time, I was excited to hear about the Spark People page and that there was a place to rant or discuss feelings. But by the time I got further along, I heard that it was shut down! Then I was bummed! I was sad I missed my chance, because I would have come and participated there. But, it’s okay. I like your blog just the way it is, too. πŸ™‚

        Reply
        1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

          Well I DO hope you will post any rants or thoughts or feelings on the statues. If others do as well, I will take that as a sign to look into finding a forum solution. If not, then at least I will have your company on my statuses. πŸ™‚

          Reply
  2. Adam

    Hello. Thank you for this website. I am a new visitor and look forward to digging through your archives. I recently started my own journal about binge eating and it has already helped so much after only one week. I look forward to getting to know you better through your wonderful writing.

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hi Adam, welcome! I will go check out your blog when I get the chance, and good for you for deciding to share your feelings. It is tough sometimes to avoid that isolation. Here’s a link for you to my friend, Alen Standish’s podcast, Progress, Not Perfection. It used to be called Quit Binge Eating, and this episode features Dr. Andrew Walen, a guy who had life long eating issues and wrote a book about it for men. I think you may find it interesting. I’m glad you find my thoughts of use and look forward to getting to know you better. πŸ™‚

      Reply
      1. Adam

        Thank you for the link. It is incredibly hard finding information and support on binge eating online and even moreso in regards to men and this disorder.

        I have connected with a lot of the writing of geneen Roth but much of her stuff is geared towards women and more recently, the religious. I will check out the link you recommended .

        Reply
        1. Suzanne

          Hi Adam, I hope you don’t mind if I hop in here and welcome you to the page and the community, too. I’ve found both Laurie’s and Alen Standish’s podcasts and blogs to be helpful and thought-provoking. They each have different styles and approaches to the topic which I think are great complements to each other.
          Best wishes!
          Suzanne

          Reply
        2. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

          I think you will find much value in many of Alen’s guests. He has a different perspective. Lately, he’s all about gaining the tools to combat perfectionism as he’s identified that as his core, underlying issue. Old shows were more focused on overcoming binge eating in particular, because that was his challenge then. Like my show, the old episodes are just as evergreen to listen to as the new ones. He’s also a genuine, caring, great person. Can’t have too many of those in our lives, right? Geneen Roth is one of the pioneers of natural, or intuitive eating, and I remember first reading her decades ago and resonated with what she wrote. But I got frustrated when I didn’t start to lose weight at she did when she overcame compulsive eating, and didn’t understand all that I would gain by dealing with the emotions. I still like to read her, but I have to temper all I read or hear from anyone against my own needs and truth. That was the hardest lesson for me. That I am the only expert in me. Everyone else can provide food for thought, but no one expert or program has my answer. I’ll be very interested in what you think of Alen’s show and if it helps you to hear from a male point of view.

          Reply
    1. Suzanne

      Hey Dawny, I hope your new job is going well and that you are enjoying it and settling in. Congrats on that!
      Take care,
      Suzanne

      Reply

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