ENJOYED MY HIKE – Honestly, I was SO tempted to skulk around, watching junk TV yesterday, because the prior day of voice acting took a lot out of me emotionally. BUT the predicted rainy/stormy weather is here today, and I knew yesterday IF I wanted to get Day 99 recorded from the mountain it was now or never! So on with the boots, off with the excuses and up to the next to upper Zen Spot with my fresh picked tangerines, my recorder and a new mood.
I’m so glad I went. It was hot hiking, but I’ve had worse. And the next to top Zen spot is very shady with a nice bench and a spectacular view. Hard to give into depression when all of glorious nature is laid out as a wondrous tapestry before you. I feel like ‘Queen of the World’ from the mountain – like ANYTHING is possible, and yet I feel calm and peaceful. Never manic, never depressed. It’s as if above my normal altitude in the world I’m above my cares.
Day 99 is overall, a much more positively toned show than 98, which is probably a good thing. But, each day, each show, is 100% how I actually feel at the time of recording, so I’m glad to know, I obviously felt more upbeat inside.
I know I said this yesterday, and I mentioned it in Day 99’s podcast, but will leave it here in case this is the way some BCs will discover it.
Feb 3 will be the one year anniversary of the start of the show, and it will ALSO be day 100. Please call the bravery hotline or send some audio with your good wishes or jokes or stories or songs to help me celebrate this milestone. Both my VO acting coach David and my director Marc have agreed to interviews to help me celebrate. And I have a few more tricks up my sleeve. I REALLY hope you can find a way to be part of this milestone show too! BTW, I need anything you wish to do, by Feb. 1, 2015 at the latest so I can write the show before I record Feb. 3. Earlier makes my life easier too. 🙂
EDITING Day 99 – I hope to release this episode today or tomorrow. It will have to be enough until show 100, as that one will take me loads of planning, writing, interviewing etc. But it’s what I want to do to celebrate that I stuck with it for an entire year. In any podcast 100 episodes is an amazing achievement, and I’m proud of myself for reaching it. I want to give myself the experience of letting pride and joy sink in, and not discount it with all my negative mind might like to throw at me. Whatever bumps, bruises, disappointments – I did something remarkable. I told in live, real time, my story of being deep in an eating disorder for 50 years, how I coped, and the change in focus that helped me through to the other side of it. My god, it is an actual audio documentary! I had no idea when I began how meaningful this year would be to me, nor how important my meeting you BCs would be. I had no clue that I would cease being scared and would bravely begin my life, for the first time, based on what I wanted and what I felt, vs. what I percieved would be pleasing to the world.
As those who have read and listened the whole year know, my outlook really changed. Lately, I’ve been feeling despair, that what I had to say had no value, and doesn’t ‘fit’ or ‘resonate’ any more. But that was me looking at the daily picture. Day by day I can be depressed, whiny, bitchy, sad, happy, crazy… I don’t have the usual success of pounds lost or sizes down to measure. I only have my life to examine.
And if I think of it, why did I WANT to lose weight and be thinner? To fit in and have a happier life.
My goodness, after reviewing the body of work lately, of listening to bits from my entire year, I realize, I only need to fit into my OWN life. And I don’t have to wait to be thinner. My life is happier today than it was one year ago.
How about you?
Please feel free to comment on MY statuses or add YOUR OWN thoughts, feelings, challenges, rants and raves on these pages too. That was one of the original purposes of why I posted on FB. I thought BCs might like to share about THEIR days. So if you have thoughts and feelings you’d like to share with the group, go ahead and put them here with your comments.
*Daily statuses are not part of the blog’s email notification. When you enter your email under where it says SUBSCRIBE TO POSTS VIA EMAIL, you will be notified of regular blog posts and when podcast episodes are released. I didn’t want to clog your inbox with my daily statuses. However, the automatic publicize feature will inform you on my show FB page, my AdventureLaurie twitter account, google+ on its show page, and Tumblr.
BB (Body Balance) number 9 Sleep: 8 hours divided (really great first half, ok second) Sleep is such a primary factor in the rest of the day. Really aids in IE to have enough sleep. Tired and hungry get so mixed up for me. Tummy/Gut: Playing very nice, and feels balanced. Hungry within one hour of waking, and regular breakfast satisfied. Energy: High Moderate Mood: Purposeful.
BB is my personal criteria, and I don’t think too hard about it. I ask myself at the keyboard, what is my BB? A number between 1-10, including halves, pops into my head. I write it in my post Then I figure out why it is higher or lower and gently make note.
If you are interested these are my measures.
- Sleep. Quality and Amount.
- Tummy/Gut – If I ate what my body asked for, usually above and below the belly button feel balanced. Ate too much, below the belly button feels more full. Ate too little, the reverse.
- Am I hungry within 1 hour of waking? I have found that I feel best if I am hungry within 1 hour of waking. This tends to make my eating day even and not heavy on food in the evening. But I don’t eat if not hungry unless I’m about to ride or hike. I’ve learned I need to fuel these morning activities, or I’ll bonk.
- What is my energy level? Subjective, but telling.
- A quick look at my mood.
The Bravery Coach
TheBraveryCoach daily tweet is a morning mediation on how I either did, or can incorporate an aspect of bravery into my day. It is cheerful. It is esteem building. Those who want to follow these on Twitter may, by searching for the hashtag #bravery or by seeing my profile: