February 1, 2015

Status 2-01-15*

SO HAPPY AND EXCITED – I feel I’ve turned an important corner with my depression and my life. So many BCs have sent in their bravery and their good wishes for show 100, I can’t help but know this show and blog make a difference. What I’m doing makes a difference. There is no denying it. Before, I would not let myself write such a thing, because I would feel like I was bragging, and the negative voice that harps on me would say, ‘Who am *I* to say ANYTHING I did was worthwhile. You are a fake, a fraud, a loser mascarading as a success.’

Today I say, ‘F you stupid voice! I am Laurie, not only the Laurie of Compulsive Overeating Diary, but the Laurie who is the STAR of my own life, and I shine bright as the sun as that Laurie. I excel at being that Laurie. I was BORN to be that Laurie.

And BCs I say the same for you! I have heard over and over again, that not only do BCs love to hear from me, they LOVE to hear from YOU! Everyone is excited to hear Fionna’s song, not only because Fionna is awesome as a song writer, but because they know the voices of the BCs will not be silenced by fear. The BCs are BRAVE in every sense of the word. The BCs know who they are, and that they are WORTH being heard.

This makes me cry with happiness. Nothing could make me one bit happier than to know that all over the world, people who felt alone and struggling with how they felt about themselves, are coming into their own radiance. They are learning to know and love themselves. And to have a small part in witnessing this miracle makes me humble and glad. I am glad I listened to that voice on the mountain inside myself. I’m glad I started talking about my issues, even when I felt pathetic. Because that moment is when I began to welcome the real me inside. When I stopped hating who I was and began to get to know who I was, and that was the start of every wondrous thing that’s happened this last year.


BIKE and EDITING – I’m off to ride up from the Rose Bowl and then lock myself in to start writing and editing the bits for Show 100. What a long and WONDERFUL show it’s going to be! Thanks everyone for participating, and I can’t wait for you to hear how it all turns out.

BTW, show 100 is NOT the end, it’s just the beginning of a new year, a new chapter and new adventures for us on Compulsive Overeating Diary.

How about you?

Please feel free to comment on MY statuses or add YOUR OWN thoughts, feelings, challenges, rants and raves on these pages too. That was one of the original purposes of why I posted on FB. I thought BCs might like to share about THEIR days. So if you have thoughts and feelings you’d like to share with the group, go ahead and put them here with your comments.

*Daily statuses are not part of the blog’s email notification. When you enter your email under where it says SUBSCRIBE TO POSTS VIA EMAIL, you will be notified of regular blog posts and when podcast episodes are released. I didn’t want to clog your inbox with my daily statuses. However, the automatic publicize feature will inform you on my show FB page, my AdventureLaurie twitter account, google+ on its show page, and Tumblr.

PS If you wish to sign up for email notification of blog postings and shows going live (not these status reports) enter your email where it says: “SUBSCRIBE TO POSTS VIA EMAIL”. This blog subscription widget is located to the right on computers and on some tablets, and below the posts on smart phones and on other types of tablets.

PSS, some BCs have asked me the difference between blog postings and status pages. Blog postings are where I develop a complete topic triggered by my status thoughts. Status thoughts are how my day went, what’s on my agenda, and how my body feels today – and not much editing or thought goes into them. That’s why I don’t clog up your email with them. 🙂

Body Balance

BB (Body Balance) number 9.5 Sleep: 9 hours divided. (great, first 5.5, ok last 4) Tummy/Gut: balanced, yay! Not hungry after 2 hour of waking, but I was hungry after voice acting class (I don’t eat before voice acting, so it’s a long stretch without food and so eat more at night). Ate after 3 hours to prep for bike ride. Energy: High. Mood: Joyful

BB is my personal criteria, and I don’t think too hard about it. I ask myself at the keyboard, what is my BB? A number between 1-10, including halves, pops into my head. I write it in my post Then I figure out why it is higher or lower and gently make note.

If you are interested these are my measures.

  1. Sleep. Quality and Amount.
  2. Tummy/Gut – If I ate what my body asked for, usually above and below the belly button feel balanced. Ate too much, below the belly button feels more full. Ate too little, the reverse.
  3. Am I hungry within 1 hour of waking? I have found that I feel best if I am hungry within 1 hour of waking. This tends to make my eating day even and not heavy on food in the evening. But I don’t eat if not hungry unless I’m about to ride or hike. I’ve learned I need to fuel these morning activities, or I’ll bonk.
  4. What is my energy level? Subjective, but telling.
  5. A quick look at my mood.

The Bravery Coach

TheBraveryCoach daily tweet is a morning mediation on how I either did, or can incorporate an aspect of bravery into my day. It is cheerful. It is esteem building. Those who want to follow these on Twitter may, by searching for the hashtag #bravery or by seeing my profile:

Daily Bravery Tweets via TheBraveryCoach on Twitter

11 thoughts on “2-01-15

  1. Dawny


    and YAY for kicking that depression in the a$$.. whoot whoot..

    Of course your amazing, and i hear/feel it in your post (s) more and more every day..

    SOOOO excited for the 100th episode, it helps you’ve talked it up so much LOL LOL , I as you know love each and every episode for many different reasons, but yah.. LOL This one is sure to represent!!!

    Im so happy for your Laurie, sending you e-cyber hugs, and twirling around this room in your honor friend

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hooray! Dawny, I think this is the BEST BB number I’ve had. Only problem was not feeling hungry when I ate breakfast to prepare for my ride. I feel physically amazing today, even though I’m still struggling with feeling heavier than I’d like. But energy is there, happiness is there, I can make some peace with my protruding tummy on a day like this. And thanks so MUCH for all you sent for show 100. I especially loved your comic set for Foolish Fun, believe it or not, many of those I hadn’t heard before! xoxoxox Off to ride now, so I can get right back to work on editing Fionna’s awesome song with all of you in it. xoxoxoxox

  2. Sue

    So looking forward to episode 100. It is going to be great hearing so much from all the other BCs and that special song. I love all the musical contributions from such talented people who use their skills to build up others.

    Congratulations, Laurie, on what you have achieved. Go girl! You are making such a difference, primarily for yourself, but allowing us to share that with you and be brave for themselves. Hugs.

  3. Amy from WI

    I’m SOOOOO happy that you are truly realizing that you are important to us and that your show does matter and make a difference! Laurie, I have been fighting bingeing, dieting, and compulsive eating for 25 years, and since listening to your show and hearing that it is ok to follow my own path, I am binge free for 2 months, losing weight at a snail’s pace (which is what I want), and feeling really good. I know I’m going to continue this journey for a long time, I truly believe that I would not have turned this corner in my life without you and your show.

    Looking forward to show 100, but I’m so thrilled to read the first part of this post. I’m happy that you have a such a high BB number today. Good for you!

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Ahhhhh thanks Amy! And I’M thrilled to hear that the show helped you with your progress (though only YOU are actually responsible for that). I may get to the place this year where I join you in trying to lose very slowly. I’m not there yet, but I can see I may get there. Right now, I don’t feel bad about myself for my size, nor am I using size as a way to push others or opportunities away – but I don’t enjoy how it feels to carry this much weight around up the mountain or on the bike. So either I will get better at listening to my body and slowly come down on my own, or I may experiment. But if I trigger myself back into compulsive diet thoughts, then I know to get right back onto almost 100% IE. I’m encouraged that I can limit dairy with no trigger or angst for my singing, and have it now and again. So I may be able to tweak some of my eating. But one thing I won’t change. I will NEVER exercise without proper fuel again, ever. Now that I know how it feels to feed myself. It used to be popular to exercise first thing in the AM without food – it was supposed to “burn the fat” sooner. Crap, it just made me weak and ravenous and I bet I ate 3X what I would’ve to make up. I also have discovered that true hunger ignored isn’t helpful. Your body just keeps slamming food images into your mind – better to eat an apple and move on. Anyway, enough about me, I am proud of YOU! xoxoxoxo

        1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

          Thanks Dawny, as you know it really is a balancing act to know yourself, what you want AND what desires come from your heart vs. from the pesky subconscious robot aliens or the Mr. Negative in our minds. Following your heart is always good, it’s knowing the difference that is tricky! xoxoxoxox

          1. Dawny

            it is tricky Laurie, and some days I think i have it down, Ive got it, and then yesterday’s come and im like WTF?? Why is this happening, something is making this happen, and i HAVE to figure it out! ARGH..

            tho, im thankful today, because it’s a NEW day! YES lol

What's your story?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *