Yesterday I threw caution to the wind and walked around the park and recorded my thoughts on whether or not to go ahead and track my calories this week. Many reasons, which if you REALLY want to know, you should give yesterday’s episode a listen.
Bottom line I’m wanting to know what I’m eating because:
- I want to track down the nutritional culprit for my weird digestive attacks
- I do not feel I am emotionally overeating, but my body is still not comfortable. I want to check in with the actual amounts I AM eating.
Number 1 is fine with me. Doesn’t cause any anxiety. Number 2 is the slippery slope. Even though I am NOT changing at all what I eat, just tracking it — it STILL feels very weird to enter food into a diary again after all of this time. I’m going to keep going this week however, as I discussed with my therapist in order to examine these feelings and to see if I get any valuable insights.
I am happy that I have come so far emotionally and am astounded that even the THOUGHT of tracking didn’t send me racing for the chips. But so far, no big reaction. Of course, it’s only been one day. Could be honeymoon. Could be I have actually developed the ability to track without berating myself for going over a “set calorie limit”. Too early to tell.
The weirdest thing, is how I feel I’m betraying my IE listeners with this possible “diet mentality” just as I worried about betraying my “I want to lose weight” listeners when I gave up dieting. My bravery moment today is realizing that my story is unique and must, by definition, flow where it does me the most good. Listeners who just like to hear my thoughts on the compulsive eating journey will not be shook. Those who are just need to do what’s best for themselves.
Please stand by while I give myself a commercial announcement:
Laurie, pay attention dear, YOU ARE NOT THE ANSWER! YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE!
Ah grasshopper Laurie, you are doing so well. You are listening to your heart and exploring your needs. You invite others to peek inside your world as you go, but are starting to realize the separation between them and you. You can be companions without being the same. In fact, no BC is exactly the same as you or any other BC.
This show may go on for YEARS as I can see that my internal thoughts will be winding like a snake around the hiking trails. Resting in the sun, burrowing under rocks and slithering here and there in exploration. I will never be done. I will never have “THE ANSWER”.
Working on my Voice Acting monolog for animation class this afternoon. Tough one for me today, but I’m pleased that David thinks I’m up for the challenge. Also, slowly, SLOWLY, getting the house back into shape. May do some yoga as a change. Haven’t in some time. Hope your day is peaceful or exciting as you would like.
How about you?
Please feel free to comment on MY statuses or add YOUR OWN thoughts, feelings, challenges, rants and raves on these pages too. That was one of the original purposes of why I posted on FB. I thought BCs might like to share about THEIR days. So if you have thoughts and feelings you’d like to share with the group, go ahead and put them here with your comments.
*Daily statuses are not part of the blog’s email notification. When you enter your email under where it says SUBSCRIBE TO POSTS VIA EMAIL, you will be notified of regular blog posts and when podcast episodes are released. I didn’t want to clog your inbox with my daily statuses. However, the automatic publicize feature will inform you on my show FB page, my AdventureLaurie twitter account, google+ on its show page, and Tumblr.
PSS, some BCs have asked me the difference between blog postings and status pages. Blog postings are where I develop a complete topic triggered by my status thoughts. Status thoughts are how my day went, what’s on my agenda, and how my body feels today – and not much editing or thought goes into them. That’s why I don’t clog up your email with them. 🙂
BB (Body Balance) number: 8.
Sleep: 7 hours divided.
Hungry: 1 hour after waking. Regular breakfast satisfied.
Mood: Anxious for class.
BB is my personal criteria, and I don’t think too hard about it. I ask myself at the keyboard, what is my BB? A number between 1-10, including halves, pops into my head. I write it in my post Then I figure out why it is higher or lower and gently make note.
If you are interested these are my measures.
- Sleep. Quality and Amount.
- Tummy/Gut – If I ate what my body asked for, usually above and below the belly button feel balanced. Ate too much, below the belly button feels more full. Ate too little, the reverse.
- Am I hungry within 1 hour of waking? I have found that I feel best if I am hungry within 1 hour of waking. This tends to make my eating day even and not heavy on food in the evening. But I don’t eat if not hungry unless I’m about to ride or hike. I’ve learned I need to fuel these morning activities, or I’ll bonk.
- What is my energy level? Subjective, but telling.
- A quick look at my mood.
The Bravery Coach
TheBraveryCoach daily tweet is a morning mediation on how I either did, or can incorporate an aspect of bravery into my day. It is cheerful. It is esteem building. Those who want to follow these on Twitter may, by searching for the hashtag #bravery or by seeing my profile: