The trail winds uphill on a calm and sunny blue-sky day

The Bravery Report

So many of us Brave Companions have been sharing really brave emotions or doing really brave actions lately, that I thought it would be encouraging to ALWAYS have a bravery report available to celebrate these emotional milestones of awesome progress.

The link above goes to a PDF where you can either print out your certificate and write in by hand your name, your bravery and the date, or if you are using Acrobat Reader, you can type the information in the fillable fields before printing.

Also, Brave Companions, feel free to scroll to the bottom of the page and post your comments here for ALL to see when you have put yourself on the bravery report!

Have fun being brave today!

Laurie

P.S. Here’s the Certificate of Episode Completion as well

Certificate for Listening to ALL of the episodes so far

58 thoughts on “The Bravery Report

  1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

    10/15/14 – I’m putting myself on the bravery report for dealing with multiple, pain in the you-know-where, technical snafus with this website this AM while trying to create this bravery report! AND I didn’t give up, swear, or head for the chips (though I was tempted on all counts) 🙂

    Reply
  2. Cheryl

    10-17-14 – Hey all! Seeing as how Laurie’s podcast today is about procrastination and dreams, I’m putting myself on the Bravery Report for joining a First Page Review Blog Hop on WordPress.com. I’ve posted the first thousand words of my finished book manuscript to be critiqued by whomever wants to between now and the end of October. Kind of scary.

    In addition, I’ve submitted the first 300 words to an author who does a critique of first glimpses (basically) and gives very detailed feedback. As nervous as that makes me, I’m hoping it will fit his criteria and I’ll get that feedback from him.

    It’s getting easier to just hit that send button on the computer! Thanks in particular to Laurie who keeps nudging me in the “write” direction! LOL

    Reply
  3. Cheryl

    I just keep telling myself over and over again it’s ALL a learning experience. If I don’t EXPECT myself to meet some high standards, then being mediocre becomes a jumping off place for progress, not a dead end. Kind of like what Sue was saying with the YET! stuff.

    Reply
  4. Suz (Suzanne)

    Hi Laurie,
    Oh….my….I just spent 30 minutes writing you a long post telling you I’m still listening, describing concerns about food and eating, wondering some stuff, offering you support, etc…I’m sure being very profound and writing the best thing I ever wrote since I started writing anything, but I forgot to put in my email address, and the message told me so, so I went back and the WHOLE post was gone. Just gone. I’ve done this before on the desktop computer, and it just let me go back and add the email address to the field and send it. But not this brandspanking new laptop, oh no. No way.
    Gah! I feel just sick having lost that. But I was here and wanted you to know I am still here. Maybe I’ll try writing something similar soon…but sure I will forget. Stupid computer! Gah!

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Oh no! I’m so sorry that happened. It’s happened to me before too, darn technology! I’m positive it was wonderful writing and I’m comforted by knowing that you got to at least think it through. Thanks too for the support it means so much to me. Hugs, hugs, hugs. This is for sure a case where it’s the thought that counts, though I’m sorry I didn’t get to read the “greatest thing you ever wrote” (yet) as you are a wonderful writer. xoxoxoxox

      Reply
  5. Dawny

    Putting myself on the bravery report, per Laurie’s wonderful urging, for being honest, and open regarding my life’s journey thru fighting the diet mentality, and facing the DUMB mental box, and trying to remain confident, and not feeling like a SUPER failure from re-gaining some weight.

    Im trying REALLY hard to remember Im still a success, I feel good, my quality of life is good, im happy, just a wee bit fluffy

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hooray for your bravery Dawny! These are tough questions to wrestle with, and instead of heading for the chips (or your equivalent) OR heading straight back to WW proper, you are thinking things through so you are making an informed choice vs. a reaction. However it turns out, I’m oh so proud of you! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

      PS, Dawny, you are NOT seeing double! I copied your post from Who are the Brave Companions here, as I felt you intended it for the bravery report page. I left your original on Who are the brave companions, as Patt posted you support there. 😉

      Reply
  6. Kerry

    I have been meaning to post here for quite some time! I stumbled upon Laurie’s podcast this summer after listening to Allen Standish.

    About the same time that Laurie started this podcast, I entered an IOP (Intensive Outpatient) treatment program for an eating disorder I’ve had for 30 years (I am 46)! My eating disorder has taken different forms over the year…I’ve been on every popular diet imaginable and I’m certain that I am in the Weight Watchers Hall of Fame for the Most Times Joined. I’ve restricted, binged, purged, and over-exercised. At one point, I lost 85 lbs on Weight Watchers—but I got there through a variety of disordered behaviors and gained it all back and much more over the last 7 years. I injured myself through over-exercise and suffered through side-effects of bulimia. More than anything, I’ve wrecked my metabolism.

    I am still recovering. I have to constantly remind myself that it is a process; bumps in the road are the norm. I am no longer purging but continue to restrict, binge, and obsess about weight. I hide from the world because I am ashamed of myself and my weight gain.

    As I listen to Laurie’s podcasts and hear/read comments, I’m realizing that I’m not alone! This is comforting to me, and I believe that it is going to help me immensely in my recovery. I hope that I can support others as well.

    Reply
  7. Cheryl

    Hey Kerry! Welcome! Sounds like you’ve been on quite a journey. And posting here on the bravery report is a huge deal. Can’t wait to get to know you better and share your struggles. Hang in there!

    Reply
  8. Kerry

    Now I’m not sure if I was supposed to put my above comments/intro here on the sacred Bravery Report! Please re-direct me! I don’t feel so brave these days!

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hi Kerry, I copied your intro and moved it to the Who are the brave companions page, where you said you intended it, so your story will be with the others there are well. BUT I would like to leave your first post also on the Bravery Report as it IS so brave what you’ve done and so that you will see that Cheryl stepped up to welcome you. Don’t ever worry about posting in the wrong spot. If it happens again, go ahead and post again where you’d like and let me know which to delete. Hugs Hugs Hugs!

      Reply
  9. Patt

    Hello, I met a friend at the mall, yikes, I never eat at the mall! This situation fits right in with Stefanie’s Secret Topic of the Day…out of our normal eating routine and out with a friend.
    Normally, I order pretty much what “we” normally eat out. And, I knew if I made a change, I’d get a comment from my long time eating buddy. I’ve had this internal dialogue that I’ve been creating in my head since listening to COD & it actually kicked in…especially Cheryl’s (I think) comment…Woo Hoo!!!! Am I hungry, sad, thirsty and in this Food Court what do I really want to eat??? I
    wanted warmth and something substantial. And I didn’t want to hear
    any comments that I’m not eating “our favorite” fast food. I took the
    time to walk around the food court and decide what I really wanted to
    eat…while walking I decided I didn’t want to feel over full bloated
    or sick after eating. I wanted to sleep all night and not have
    heartburn;). I didn’t want to wake up sluggish with a sugar/carb foggy brain and body. All this thinking and talking in my head takes energy &I’m proud of myself for challenging my old habits while figuring out what I really wanted to eat.
    So, I had a Thai spicy broth soup which warmed me, the chicken & mushrooms
    satisfied me and I had a few bites of noodles & tossed the rest
    out! I took care of me, not thinking
    of pleasing my friend or listening to old thoughts in my head. I know I cared for me today & I feel great!

    After writing this, I think too much about what other people think…Grrr. I need to work on this.
    Have a great day,
    Patt

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hooray for your bravery Patt! That is an awesome achievement in courage to:

      1. figure out what you want
      and
      2. to stick with it in the face of not wanting to make your friend uncomfortable.

      Most good friends will accept what you decide to eat without making a big deal (unless WE make a big deal). If they DO make comments or feel hurt that is their stuff coming out and not on you. I can’t remember if I told this story on the show or not, but for our writing group I go to a certain restaurant that features burgers. But I LOVE the grilled chicken salad on romaine with green apple and pecan they have there. Every stinking time I order it, the people in line give me grief over how I should “Live a little” and don’t be a party-pooper. I’m guessing they feel that what THEY are planning to eat makes them feel they need accomplices to feel better about their choices. Now I’m not eating salad for weight loss. I just like it at that restaurant. I think that most people who feel comfortable with their own choices are not focused on what we choose to consume. One exception is the folk who feel that their way of eating is THE way and correct for all of us. They can feel compelled to “Save” us. And that doesn’t feel good either. That’s why I’m so proud of you for looking inside YOURSELF for what you wanted to eat. And that can be for nutrition your body wants, for fuel, or for delicious flavor. But even the last feels a different choice than compulsive eating or habitual eating. We are so different in our medical needs, our fuel needs, our emotional needs, cultural needs, that no one way can fit us all. But I do think that we can tell how we are doing in any plan by how we feel in our bodies AND in our emotions afterwards. if our bodies feel satisfied and not stuffed or hungry, our emotions don’t feel regret or guilt or missing out and our energy is good, then we have chosen well in our eating. Thanks too for posting on the bravery report today. I’m hoping your example will encourage other BCs to post EVERY TIME they do ANYTHING brave. It doesn’t have to be big or heroic, just brave for that particular brave companion. Hugs dear Patt. xoxoxoxox

      Reply
      1. Patt

        Laurie,
        I agree with your comments on so many points! The one thing that stands out to me is, I can learn to figure out my nutrition needs on any plan by how my body feels after I eat and the guilt or other emotions afterwards.
        I’m a work in progress.
        Thanks for your comments,
        Patt

        Reply
    2. Cheryl

      Geez, Patt, you’re doing SO much better than me! Our girls’ group had our Christmas party at Olive Garden Friday night and it was my turn to host (didn’t want to clean house so opted for eating out) and my treat for each of them was dessert, so I KNEW I’d be having dessert. What I REALLY wanted for dinner was a BIG bowl of Zuppa Toscana (sp?) soup. But when I said that’s all I wanted they all chimed in that I needed to order a meal. I caved. Ordered spaghetti and meatballs (more expensive) and ended up eating only half of it. These are gals I’ve known for over 20 years. They KNOW my struggle (and several of them have the same struggles), and yet they pushed me and I allowed it.

      There’s two things wrong with that scenario. They should have known better than to push me to eat something big, but I should have thought more of myself (in that situation) than of what they’d think of me, and just ordered the soup! Why does it always have to be such a battle???

      Reply
      1. Patt

        Cheryl,
        Oh my goodness, are you my twin…you clearly stated my issue. The caving, people pleasing etc.
        It’s a funny thing to remember whats the best for me/you/us.
        Thanks for commenting,
        Patt

        Reply
  10. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

    12/6/14 – I’m putting myself on the bravery report for FACING my fear of character voices. Perfectionist me, so dreads character voice day in voice acting class. Just not my thing, not easy for me, and many in my intermediate class are actors and super good and fast at it. It pushes up all of those feelings of “not good enough, I’m flawed, I’m not as good as X etc.”. My voice will never be super husky or sexy or any of those things. Everyone says my voice is “pleasant” and “nice”. Crap I WANT TO BE WACKY AND SEXY! But my natural voice print is what it is. And I know, many of you BCs have complimented me on its quality, but my natural way of speaking is a bit too high pitched and frantic for commercial work. So I have to tone it down and make myself suited for Mom buying cheese at the store parts. ::sigh:: But that doesn’t mean I can’t get better – but it is never pleasant to face the critique you know is coming when in your heart, you realize the best you can do right now, isn’t all that great. However, that IS how you learn. so it is part of the process. I practiced and did the best I could. Not as horrible as last character day. Had to do 4 takes, 3 of which were me missing the mark totally in one way or another, with endless minutes of feeling moth pinned to the wall whilst the director and engineer tore my ability to bits. Tough Love. And the last I hit it – not out of the park, but respectably. Then for my dialog, I was partnered with Tye, the same actor who did the stuffy nose bit with me a few weeks ago. We were a French do-nut tempting the other to eat us for breakfast, but the straight man other, was switching to yogurt. Stéfanie, I will need lessons, because we did good, but my teacher says my French accent is NOT GOOD, but bad as it was, at least I maintained the same voice throughout. :::sigh:::: and what REALLY makes me mad, it that Tye did HIS accent by marking his script in our rehearsal with all of the changes I was making to my words when I did MY French accent. so I guess I have some idea, but not good delivery when it comes to French. Anyway, I was SO tempted to pretend to be sick and not go to character voice day. To do what I usually do when things are tuff or uncomfortable, HIDE, RUN, GIVE UP. But I didn’t. I went to class. I did my best. I took my notes and went out to dinner with Mark and put it behind me. I think I may try finding a private acting or dialect coach to help me with a few lessons to see if it is lack of experience, or limits with what I have to work with in my mouth etc. since I am limited in its movements since the bike accident. So, dear BCs. I feel I was brave, and therefore I AM ON THE BRAVERY REPORT! How about you? Please post here with YOUR bravery, large and small for all to see. You can post as many times as you wish. I never get tired of reading about your bravery. xoxoxoxoxox

    Reply
    1. Cheryl

      I guess my question for you is, are you going to be broken hearted if you never get the character part of this voice acting class down? You are so great at other assignments you’ve had. You’ve gone and conquered your fear of doing this at all. And that’s the main point, that you DID IT! But that doesn’t mean you have to be terrific at everything you try. You’re a winner by virtue of the fact that you got brave enough to put yourself out there and even try. I’d say, heck, just have fun with it and relax. Practice can make a huge difference, I’m guessing. Proud of you for what you’ve already accomplished, girlfriend!!!

      Reply
      1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

        I guess my question for you is, are you going to be broken hearted if you never get the character part of this voice acting class down?

        Of course I am Cheryl! 😉 I am broken hearted EVERY time I feel like I’m not as good as I want to be at something. As I said in reply to Amy, that’s one reason I am very glad to have therapy. This is actually the BEST thing that can happen right now. One needs to grow a thick, thick skin in any professional acting (or even community acting) situation. Mine is paper thin – though I’m getting there. Thanks so much for the encouragement. Thinking of all of the BCs and their kindness and support is how I make it through these situations that used to drive me to food for weeks and weeks and weeks. Now I allow myself to feel crappy and like a loser instead of heading for ice-cream. Then after enough time passes, I can assess logically, what I wish to do. For character work, I want to get a private coach for a few sessions to see if a kindler, gentler, approach might help me learn better how to approach this aspect. If this doesn’t work, than I’ll focus on straight commercial and narrative genres. Thanks for ALWAYS having my back, dear Cheryl. Smoocheroo! xoxoxoxoxoxox

        Reply
  11. Dawny

    Here I am being brave……

    I am sharing my story of success and for this I feel brave! I went into a restaurant unknown anything about it ( something I don’t do especially on the cusp of fending off the diet mentality vs. Succomb ing to it)

    I’m super proud of myself. I ended up at a finer kind of restaurant. I had no clue what to order. I just went with what I really wanted. I ate what I wanted of it. I had three french fries. They were very good. That’s all I ‘needed’. . I ordered a chicken Caesar wrap I had half and give laney a half. It was really good I could’ve ate the whole thing. Because it was tasty not because I was hungry. But I had a spinach salad with these big huge shrimps on it n slivered almonds. Asian dressing on the side that I didn’t need since there were mandarin oranges and roasted Rex peppers on the salad.
    I had so much fun. Enjoyed my 7yo bestie and the food but I didn’t focus on the food. I focused on satisfying my hunger. It was soooo super and amazing. I’m not sure I’ve ever done that. Okay. I’m sure I have but not since I’ve been trying to for a million years.
    I was satisfied. With not much food. . we ran out of time for one thing. I boxed it up. I got home n added some cabbage and broccoli slaw to the remains of my salad n cut the shrimps up. I’m not sure I was physically hungry but I wanted it hungry. It was ‘my dinner’ and I ghjnk I ‘needed’ to eat it *sigh*. I wasn’t ‘full’ but not ‘hungry’. And eating it didn’t make me full either. So I think I needed it. I did have a yogurt and these mini banana muffins out that I had anticipated to eat as well for my “dessert” something I really love and I wanted. But after eating the salad I realized I was not hungry at all no I was not full but I was satiated I put the yogurt in the muffins back! Win-win. the feeling of empowerment. I just feel good right now. In control. I owned the choices/decisions the food did not own me

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Wow, what a GREAT story. I’m glad you realized you were worthy of the bravery report and shared it with us. Sometimes we don’t give ourselves credit for the acts of bravery we do. I’m also proud of you for giving it a go to see what dining thoughtfully according to what you really want feels like. It is like learning to ride a bike, or skate, or other activity. It takes much practice, but it does get easier. However you use this tool, within WW or not, Good for you for taking this brave step!

      Reply
  12. Suz (Suzanne)

    Oh! I should have scrolled to the bottom.
    Okay, I am placing myself on the Bravery Report for sending a long voice file to Laurie, where I talked about some stuff that’s been on my mind. Some of it was pretty personal. I was a little afraid to send it.
    I was just talking off the cuff, too. I didn’t take notes, I didn’t prepare, I just talked. Unusual for me, and unusual that I felt like recording my voice!
    So. There. I did it.

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Anywhere is fine my dear. The important thing is HOORAY you did it! As you discovered, If you wish to post a brand new bravery vs. replying to one that is there, the easiest way is to go to the bravery report page (here) and scroll down to the bottom and enter your comment. Then it will be the first comment of that thread. But wherever you post, it will still show up in the new comments on the home page and I will be notified it is there. Hooray for DOUBLE bravery. You sent your voice AND you acknowledged your bravery in doing it. I removed your first post, so no worries. Also, it would have been just as brave where it was. If a post position ever bothers you, just let me know and I can edit for you. xoxoxoxoxoxo

      Reply
  13. Suzanne

    Last night I was up late (because I am a night owl and I have today off) and my mind was fixated on a box of spinach artichoke dip I knew was in the freezer. And the bag of chips in the closet. The thought of that delicious dip plagued me for a couple of hours. I read a couple chapters of ‘Eating in the Light of the Moon”, and finally fell asleep. I did not eat that dip!!!!!!
    I’ve noticed something since I started taking Abilify. I seem to feel satisfied faster when eating and stay satisfied longer. I think the mental work I’ve been doing might now pay off a bit. The drug is known to raise blood sugar and cause weight gain, so I’ll have to keep aware of that. But for now I am on the bravery report. It’s like the lift in mood and energy from the new medicine has finally made it possible for me to make some mental and emotional progress with this.

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      WTG Suzanne, I am SO proud of you! That is awesome news that Ability is helping. I know how tough finding the right meds (or combo of meds) can be, and you are DOUBLE AWESOME that you put yourself on the bravery report. That speaks volumes about your growth and bravery and how you are becoming your own best advocate. This is so key to every success, be it eating as we wish, singing, piano playing, everything. Well done! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

      Reply
  14. Phoebe

    Hi All –

    I am posting in the bravery report at Laurie’s suggestion. I’m mostly posting because I’m trying to be brave enough to come out of the shadows! I have gone through some heavy and traumatic stuff the last few years, and it’s really hard to eat well in the face of the stress. But I keep trying to find a way to health. This community looks like a lovely place to wander with on the way.

    Phoebe

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hooray Phoebe! You PROVED your bravery by reaching out. What a red letter fantastic day for you! As you can see by the fabulous Dawny’s welcome, the Brave Companions are so happy to meet and support you. And we LOVE to get new perspectives on what we go through too. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, I couldn’t be happier to see you on the bravery report. Brava! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

      Reply
      1. Phoebe

        Thank you all for the warm welcome! I look forward to posting more soon, after your generous encouragement. 🙂

        Reply
    2. Patt

      Welcome Phoebe,
      You are right, this is a wonderful place to to be involved with everyone on their path to health!
      I, too. sit in the shadows most weeks however, I post here and there, when I feel brave. I do relate to Laurie and all the Brave Companions as when I’m in a mind fuddle…stuck someone will post details of their situation and I can usually relate. Helps me to sort out what life throws at me and now, I am proud and brave to say that since I’ve followed Compulsive Overeating Diary, I am more proactive is my thinking, actions with others..huge, being a people pleaser! . I am bold now in meeting my own needs and asking for what I need!

      Hey, I’m a brave companion and Phoebe pulled me out of the shadow!

      Have a great day BC’s
      Patt

      Reply
      1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

        Poking my head into your comment Patt, to let you know this comment is on today’s show! Hooray! You are on the bravery AND the thank you report for sure! xoxoxox
        PS, I’m so glad the show and the community are helping you. Me too. I can remember when I had days like this ALL of the time, instead of it being so very odd. I loved what you wrote for Phoebe and I’m so happy you BCs are supporting one another. xoxoxoxox

        Reply
  15. dawny

    Welcome Pheobe.. and YAY for Bravery.. =-) and we LOVE LOVE LOVE NEW friends =-) Im glad you are searching to find your way, that’s what we do, baby steps, one minute at a time, all we got is right now, so that’s all we can do.. Sending you an e-hug and welcoming you friend..

    Reply
  16. Jill

    Hi Laurie/BCs! I’m Jill from the UK (right in the middle) I am 46 and have a lifetime history of dieting/starving/running/binging/calorie counting, like most of you I’ve done it all. 5 years ago I lost 70 pounds and for the first time in my life I was really slim. However I did this through crazy calorie counting and running up to 30 miles a week. I regained about 25 pounds and have been fighting the backward slide ever since.

    I have reached a stage of self acceptance, at my age, I do not really care about being skinny so much, and am very much focused on health. I think my weight (175 at 5ft 8) is relatively healthy but I do not want to gain any more. I exercise regularly, but now I don’t think about the calories, I try and do it for health and well-being. I completely subscribe to intuitive eating, but really struggle with it, I’ve swung back and forth from that to calorie counting several times. Recently I decided that was IT and I’m going to do it. At that point I found this podcast by searching ‘intuitive eating’ Initially I was a little disappointed to find all the references to calorie counting and goal weights, but as I’ve binge listened to episodes 1 through 50, I realise Laurie has come to the same place I’m at so I am very much enjoying the podcasts. I thought I would wait to introduce myself until I had caught up, but that could be a while! And after having my first really BAD day yesterday which saw me spooning nutella out of a jar I feel the need to reach out. The worst thing was I knew I was going to do it, I so could have stopped myself, but I didn’t… I keep promising next time will be different, but have not yet been able to stop once I start.

    PS – if you talk about this on the podcast, I should hear it in a couple of weeks 🙂 I MUST listen in order (no I’m not at all compulsive…. 😉

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hi Jill! Wow, I’m so glad you dove in and shared your story with us. Also, it is awesome to have another BC from the UK join us. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I’m also delighted that the show ‘improved’ from your POV as I moved away from my usual diet/binge pattern and embraced Intuitive Eating. It is interesting to me that my show, in its entirety, captured that process. I didn’t know it at the time I started, but I basically made an audio documentary of about my coming out from under my lifelong eating disorder. Congrats on your success with finding your own acceptance. I know it isn’t a smooth road, but I do believe it pays many dividends. And I want you to know, that most new BCs DO listen to all of the shows in order, and most don’t want to say hello until they are ‘caught up’, but I’m very happy you didn’t wait. Feel free to comment on any show that you’re on, as all discussion from those shows is still pertinent and valuable today. Again, Welcome, welcome, welcome, and I look forward to learning more of your story. xoxoxoxoxoxox

      Reply
    2. Sue

      Hi Jill, welcome from a fellow Brit. I’m looking forward to hearing more from you. I love your sense of humour already!

      Reply
  17. Dawny

    Hi Jill. So glad to have you here!! You got right in.

    I giggled with you in regard to must listening in order. I’m the same way. I too binge listened.

    Reply
  18. Kevin

    Hello!

    My name is Kevin, I am 24 years old and live in NYC. I have struggled with over eating for as long as I can remember. I am at a healthy weight right now that I really enjoy but I still find myself going for the food when I feel inadequate. I am in a really good place in my career and I have an amazing support group of family and friends. I am also cultivating a deep faith in Nichiren Buddhism that has allowed me to build the strength and courage to look inside and face my demands. A HUGE part of these obstacles is my relationship to food and my body. I tried Food Addicts but I didn’t want to give up enjoying food. My connection to food goes so deep, it is one of the biggest ways I communicate with and express love for those around me. That is how I came across your podcast. I love so much that you started by saying I don’t have the answer but I am going to share my journey. That really resonated with me. It is an on going process and I feel like being trapped in all the different diets made me loose sight of just living. I still haven’t gotten the Kevin formula to eating quite right. I ended up at McDonalds last night ordering two big mac meals and ice cream….. And it was after an amazing victory in my faith. There was no bad feelings to be eating. Then I realized it was fear and that damn feeling of inadequacy again! I get so scared that the feeling of happiness is going to fade that I have to shove something down and keep the endorphin’s going. I have found myself binge eating after victories on multiple occasions and I’m not really sure how to best address that. I am much more mindful about my eating though. Before, during and after I think what am I feeling? Why do I feel like I need to do this? And that mindfulness you talk about has helped me so much! And it has found its way into my work and my relationships and my reactions to everything and it has helped me a lot in my faith as well.

    Thank you SO VERY MUCH Laurie!

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hi Kevin, Welcome! I was so touched and encouraged by your comments on the Bravery Report today. When you said it resonated with you that I didn’t have answers but was willing to share my journey, it gave me such a much needed boost. I started the show and my journey here, trying to overcome overeating and finally lose weight. But I found that the ‘Laurie Journey’ was much more about learning to love myself as I am, body and all. It was about recognizing the strength of my body and my spirit. It was learning to finally let food be food and not the answer to all of my unspoken needs. Many BCs found food for thought in my process, whether or not they were on an active quest to lose weight, but many felt disappointment that I didn’t have a weight loss Cinderella story after all. So I often felt that I let them down (crazy right, to worry about letting others down when my main focus it to overcome people pleasing and to learn what is in my own heart). But old mental habits are tough to break too. 🙂 I so think that your spiritual practice will be of wonderful help and you are very thoughtful and eloquent with your communication.

      One of the many ideas you wrote about that gave me something to consider is:

      I get so scared that the feeling of happiness is going to fade that I have to shove something down and keep the endorphin’s going. I have found myself binge eating after victories on multiple occasions and I’m not really sure how to best address that.

      Hmmm. I too have found myself eating in ways that are not intuitive after a victory or bravery or something that made me proud of myself. At first I thought that victories were not congruent with my inner conception of myself was as a loser, or also-ran, and therefore the eating was unconscious to bring my normal shame feelings back (be more like myself) – but then I realized it was fear of loss that made me eat for comfort. Because my inner concept didn’t yet include me as a winner, or brave, or being successful, all victories were happy accidents that weren’t going to last. Hence, the need for comfort for the “predictable future loss” that hadn’t yet happened! I’m still learning to roll with the punches. One of my favorite sayings that I discovered during the run of the main show was “Disappointment is not Disaster”. I used to have one moment of setback and it would ruin the day, the week, or even months. Now I strive to remember that every moment is a new chance for choice. I can choose to react differently. I can choose to eat more mindfully. I can choose a new path. I can change my mind. This concept of choice gives me more freedom from perfectionism. I had a very severe disappointment over the weekend. I’d had the AWESOME opportunity to meet a stop-animation producer I admire as part of a small group that was also going to a preview of his latest film. I’d looked forward to this for weeks and weeks. Then I was nailed with the flu some days before the event. I kept hope and visualization alive, until I realized there was no way I was leaving my home (nor going out to infect others with this crud). I cried and cried and felt so sorry. My friends all posted how wonderful the event had been. And I noticed a new attitude in myself. I was able to separate out my disappointment from my happiness for them. I was able to say to myself, “That was a really cool thing, but other cool events will come along. You made the right choice”. Long way of saying that both the disappointment AND the pride in my new reaction would have usually been eating triggers. And I am happy to say that instead of using food to fill my emotions and time, I used my time at home to review more animation, practice my voice acting and research new coaches and classes. This helped me use these emotions to fuel my happiness and to build new experiences. I don’t know if any of my story today also resonates with you, but I felt called to share it. Thanks again, and I join Dawny in hoping you will come back again and share more of YOUR story with us here. xoxoxoxox

      Reply
      1. Kevin

        WOW Laurie! Thank you so much for this in depth and thoughtful welcome and response to my story. I haven’t been back online since I posted and I apologize for not responding to this lovely welcome sooner. I am so grateful for this community that you have build for all of us Brave Companions!

        Reply
        1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

          You are so very welcome! And you deserve our support for your outstanding bravery and willingness to share. I hope you also have the opportunity to build support with the other BCs as that is the best gift of all 🙂 xoxoxoxox

          Reply
    2. Sue Gordon

      You are so welcome to this community, Kevin. I find that vocalising thoughts in the written word as you and Laurie do or via the spoken word as Laurie and others do so helpful. Self awareness is so important and is the first step before any change is possible.

      Keep going and you will reap the benefit.
      Regards
      Sue

      Reply
      1. Kevin

        Thank you so much Sue! Even the strongest tree can be uprooted by fierce winds and the most feeble tree can endure the storm with the support of firmly rooted stakes. You guys are all such excellent support amidst our shared struggles.

        Reply
  19. Dawny

    you are SOOOO very awesome kevin, thanks for stopping by and joining in by sharing..
    That is a VERY BRAVE thing to do
    your success sounds amazing!! you are very strong for really looking ‘in’ and trying to figure YOU out =-)

    Reply
  20. Sue Gordon

    I am putting myself on the bravery report today. Although I have sung in various choirs for years it has always been with the music and deliberately blending in and being anonymous. Just before Christmas I went to a house warming party for a new neighbour. Even though we had to arrive very late there was plenty of time to join in what ended up being a singalong of various show tunes. I normally am much more comfortable if the written music is there to follow, but there was none on that occasion. My daughter and I give it a go and had fun. As a result of this we were asked to take part in Pirates of Penzance – a fun Gilbert and Sullivan operetta. This was very much out of my comfort zone but seemed too good an opportunity to miss.

    Well the opening night was tonight and it went well. I was only in the chorus but had a speaking line and had to make an utter buffoon of myself, drawing the attention of the audience for a short while. I did it and survived. Now for the other five performances which will be seen by family, church friends and colleagues. Wow

    Reply

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