When we last left the ranch, Laurie was
bitchingmaturely musing on why she only lost 1 f-ing poundmay have slowed down in her weight loss this week.
Truth time, I was totally pissed. I worked hard, I slogged up mountains for cripes sake, I ate inside my allotted calories, I expressed hidden feelings, I DESERVED BETTER!!! 1 measly pound, hardly seemed worth it.
I know the drill, I know all of the good reasons why weight loss slows, I know logically that this is a long haul, I know that thinking like this leads to entitlement and entitlement thwarted leads to bingeing. But I wanna, wanna, wanna! (Hint that hidden rage is about to be unleashed).
Screw the pooch, toss the baby out with the bathwater, burn the f-ing forest AND the trees! If I can’t be thin IMMEDIATELY bring on the f-ing chips! (Sound familiar?)
My inner child’s run amok rending garments, tossing garbage, and stomping around in my head all because of my latest weigh-in. Scales are tools of the devil — especially doctors’ scales run by skinny 18-year-olds with oh so innocent widening eyes — but that’s another story.
Anyway, once I got THAT out of my system, I pulled some pants out of the drawer in order to head on down to Trader Joe’s to buy milk. Hmm, maybe NOT the best time to be food shopping. Nonetheless, I pulled on said pants, and then moaned to myself. Crap, not only am I not lighter, my pants have gotten tighter. Life sucks!
Then I realized, I had mistakenly pulled my 18Ws out of the back of the drawer instead of my current 20Ws. I had also pulled them up my thighs, AND zipped them before I understood my mistake. I’d only lost a pound, but I’d dropped a pants size in the 4 weeks of my podcast experiment.
This means that fat is down, and probably a little muscle is up, since I’m smaller.
So damn the scale, hooray for me, my experiment is working.
The above rant brought to you by the letter B
The letter B is a wonderfully diverse letter. For example, it can stand for Binge, Bitch, and Be.
When one is faced with rage, or temptation, one can do one of these three things:
- Binge – damn all of my goals, damn restraint, damn me!
- Bitch – I’m sick of counting the damn calories, Why can’t I just eat what I want and not gain weight? Life sucks right now!
- Be – I am who I am, I’m eating the best that I can, I will savor my life, I will bless myself with love, I forgive myself and I will choose life.