Ep 0106 – Worst Binge in Years! What could have caused this Robot Alien Devastation?

Laurie in a rainbow tie-dye jacket and hiking hat standing under a tree with her recorder.
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At my local park I get mic-ed up, do a quick sound check, and then get ready to ‘Let er rip’ for the wild and woolly post binge ponder-fest of Day 106.

Podcast Recap

Following the worst binge I’ve had since I began this show, I walk in my local park and talk out my emotions. I advise skipping the letting go segment today if you are already in an iffy mood. It is ironic that when I gave my binge recovery tips on Day 103 I hadn’t HAD a binge myself for months, and truthfully, I had forgotten the hurricane force of this type of binge. I can’t even call it a visit from the robot aliens, but rather, a full on invasion. Sigh. We welcome new BCs Paula from FB and Phoebe who goes on the BRAVERY Report for saying Hello to us on that very same Bravery Report! Dawny and Patt step in to represent the kindness of BCs by greeting Phoebe right away. Cheryl sends us her audio answer to Stéfanie’s question about vanity from Day 105 and I’m pleased as punch that today we have two, count them two, foolish funners! (Thanks Cheryl and Dawny). Then I wrap up the show by reading part of the recent blog post that highlights a possible major player in my binge and some of the many supportive comments I received on it. Featured are comments from Cassie, Amy from WI and Stéfanie from Quebec.


Allen’s Show, Progress, Not Perfection

Blog post about the calories not working out

Episode where I named the Brave Companions (BCs)

Episode where Stéfanie from Quebec leaves a comment asking our thoughts about vanity

Episode where I ironically give tips on binge recovery

Blog post that I read part of during this episode about my progression as a B level actor

The Bravery Report where you can read Brave Phoebe’s hello, Patt and Dawny’s greeting to Phoebe, leave your OWN bravery comments and/or download a Bravery Report PDF of your own

The Bravery Coach

TheBraveryCoach daily tweet is a morning mediation on how I either did, or can incorporate an aspect of bravery into my day. It is cheerful. It is esteem building. Those who want to follow these on Twitter may, by searching for the hashtag #bravery or by seeing my profile:

Daily Bravery Tweets via TheBraveryCoach on Twitter

Ways to support the show financially


Host: Laurie Weaver
Laurie’s Foolish Fun Intro Announcer: Mark Weaver
Laurie’s Foolish Funners: Dawny and Cheryl
Thoughts on Vanity Call: Cheryl

Main Theme: I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1 Used by permission of Josh Woodward under a Creative Commons License

Sounds used in Laurie’s Foolish Fun Intro

  • Slide Whistle sounds
  • Background Tune/Beat
  • Girl’s Laughter
  • Phone Ring
Comments box:

12 thoughts on “Ep 0106 – Worst Binge in Years! What could have caused this Robot Alien Devastation?

  1. Dawny

    I eagerly anticipate hearing this episode as I do every episode. I love taking my Wog-a-bout s with you friend.

    Sending you great big cyber hugs today gal friend!!!!! Sounds like you need them.

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Thanks! This isn’t the most fun I’ve ever had podcasting, but it did help me to work it through. I do hope you BCs won’t be too drug down by its ranting and gloomy tenor. xoxoxoxox Fast forward if it’s a pain. You and Cheryl made Foolish Fun history!

      1. dawny

        LOVED the episode Laurie..!! I truly hope that the day is near where you will stop apologizing for being YOU, and for sharing yourself!!! =-) Hugs friend..
        This show is YOUR show, and it’s intent and purpose is/was for you to be able to share your life journey ALL of it, those of us embarking in/on/with the journey are fully aware of LIFE and how it goes, so friend.. Dearest friend, NO need to apologize for yourself, for your thoughts, for your feelings!!
        Life is NOT all ALWAYS rainbows and butterflies, and because this is a podcast of your life and experiences, and ours when you include them, there’s no apology needed

        Im thankful your so open willing and honest =-)

        AND for the record.. you have NOT failed anyone.. NOT even YOU as you felt via your descriptive in the podcast episode.. Failure would be giving up and letting the alien win, to which you DO NOT do, you KEEP ON KEEPING on working thru it and finding by digging what’s rooting it etc.. your continuing to learn and grow.. Im proud of you =-)

        I too hate how we find something that’s to be fun, but because of our addictive compulsive personalities, we become obsessed, and it becomes something other than what it was intended to be, or started out as *sigh* dang personality quirks anyway.. sheesh.. glad that we all have our own tho.. giggle giggle keeps the world going around right? hee hee.

        SUPER gal pal e-hugs lady! you got this.. crows; aliens, barking dogs and all =-) I truly LOVE it

        1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

          Dawny you are a GENIUS!

          I too hate how we find something that’s to be fun, but because of our addictive compulsive personalities, we become obsessed, and it becomes something other than what it was intended to be

          I had not recognized until you wrote this that my ‘progression’ problem is based in perfectionism! When I begin, I don’t KNOW what I’m supposed to know, so I allow myself to experience whatever the thing is. THEN as I learn ‘the rules’ my obsessive self fires up to HIGH ALERT to PERFECTLY do the rules, and anything less means I give up! Of course, I can’t be perfect at the rules. I freak and get MORE in my head, trying to OBEY the rules (sound like dieting and giving up to bingeing?)

          This is SUCH a wonderfully freeing insight Dawny, I can’t tell you. I need to tackle acting like intuitive eating. I need to feel my way. It is ok to know and practice the technical parts, but when it comes to performing for class, I need to let go of the RULES and just BE however I will be.

          I bet this will help. Thanks SO much as I really want to continue with voice acting and I BELIEVE I have what it takes to become proficient at it. And now, I feel I have a chance again, even though it won’t be easy (as my compulsive brain loves to torture me). I will have to breathe through this one. Hugs. Off to therapy!

          1. Dawny

            YAY soooo glad and PROUD to be able to ‘give back’ a thought to you!! you’ve given me so many =-)

            you’ve got this friend.. we got this friends.. wooohoo

  2. Cheryl

    You really are in a pickle about the voice lessons, it’s easy to tell. I waited for years to take piano lessons, and they weren’t cheap. We really didn’t have the money. But after all that waiting I just decided I owed it to myself to see if I could go the distance, irregardless of how much it cost. As I’ve said before, I really bombed those lessons. Crossed that off my bucket list after giving it a shot for nearly two years. But I think it was important for me to keep at it until I had the satisfaction of knowing whether I could or couldn’t learn to play. Maybe it’s the same for you with the voice acting lessons?

    Also wanted to comment quickly that I LOVED what “Proactive” Pat had to say. There is a certain fearlessness that can creep in when we’re participating someone in a group. Maybe it’s just herd mentality. Who knows… But I know I’ve made a lot of forward movement since you’ve been doing this podcast. Thanks for that insight, Pat.

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      I resonated with what Patt had to say too.

      I LOVED what “Proactive” Pat had to say. There is a certain fearlessness that can creep in when we’re participating someone in a group. Maybe it’s just herd mentality. Who knows… But I know I’ve made a lot of forward movement since you’ve been doing this podcast. Thanks for that insight, Pat.

      I think isolation is one of the painful hallmarks of eating issues (or other compulsive issues) and our supportive group dynamic is key to unlocking that fear of being ourselves. Once we can be ourselves SOMEWHERE, it is easier to be ourselves out in the world.

      I think Dawny nailed my voice acting problem and I feel so much better! I do have what it takes, I just didn’t know how to get over my usual progression into perceived failure and abandonment. I can be objective, and I see, that if I allow myself, I have all of the tools needed (and a GREAT location) for pursuing voice atcting. AND I really do love it. So time to follow the joy, not the perfection. xoxoxoxox

  3. Carol

    Hang in there Laurie! And I agree with the others, don’t apologize. This is your show and I think we all can relate and that’s what makes it so helpful to listen to. Your struggles are also our struggles and your show makes you the bravest of all. Tomorrow is a new day! Thanks for sharing this episode. I completely understand where you are coming from.

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Thanks Carol! I’m feeling better and have learned what was under all of that. So now, it’s just going to take time for the physical discomforts to move along and for me to get back to my normal hunger cues. It is disconcerting to feel so full and hungry at once! I’m glad the episode was helpful, believe me, I would have preferred to just sweep it under the rug and wait until I felt better to record. But since other BCs have similar experiences, I hoped that at minimum, it would make them feel less alone and less crazy. Your support means a lot to me and I really appreciate it. Hugs! xoxoxoxox

  4. Jo

    OMG I heard it in your voice, the disappointment and frustration of the binge. The over analysis of why and wherefore, and struggling to recover without pulling back on the boots of restriction.
    I am struggling with overeating at the moment, but I am going through some personal and health challenges so I am cutting myself some slack until next week.
    The 5:2 diet worked well for me and I will probably go back to that and try to dismiss my binges – whereas today I am just letting the overeating happen with no guilt or repercussions
    I am compulsive in so many areas of my life and recent events have left me incapable where I am normally so capable and therefore I understand my overeating demands at the moment. I hope you are still doing well Laurie and being kind to yourself
    Take care

  5. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

    Thank you Jo. When I started the show I promised raw and real, and though it is tough to show my negative self, this is an example of it. It is shocking, no? But what’s encouraging for me, is that those levels of binges were my norm for most of my life. Restrict like crazy, HUGE blow-out, hate myself more for ‘lack of control’, more restriction to “fix and punish”. repeat repeat repeat. I literally gave my life over to eating, dieting and body issues. I squeezed out people, creativity, even house work. Exercise was more important than almost anything.. Eating the ‘right thing’ more important than social events etc. Of course, I didn’t realize this. This pattern felt normal. Part of my DNA and my identity. Most of the show was, and still is in the reboot, me learning to not only understand these forces, but to have compassion for myself. A very hard task for a perfectionist. Today, while I’m very peaceful around food, I realize that I am falling into some of my pattern in Voice Acting. And perfection does not work there. One must let go and learn trust. So voice acting is another opportunity for me to learn and to forgive. I guess that might be my purpose in life. Learn stuff and forgive. Thanks for your support, it means the world that people who experience the ‘non-perfection’ that is my truth, still root for me, hang with me, and hold me in their affection. xoxoxoxo PS, I’m sorry to heat that you are having some challenges now. I agree that losing the feeling of capability is a huge trigger. Whatever plan you choose for your eating, I wish you well and know that you are an awesome loving soul who cared enough to reach out. xoxoxoxox


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