Ep 0118 – Results are Just Temporary Stops Along the Way

Laurie in straw hat in a woodland glade.
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I’m smiling despite being eaten alive by flies! But it was fun trying out a new podcast rock and seeing a new view.

Podcast Recap

I let go of being controlled by results after discovering a new podcast rock and battling flies. An update on how I’m doing letting go of eating before eating from last show. The show’s monthly iTunes worldwide review report. A special thank you to an Amazon shopper from the US. Shows from my old podcast, Daily Adventure Tales, are recommended. Welcome to new BC Karen. Guy BCs are encouraged to participate. Comment reactions from last show by Dawny, Dave and eM. What do you do when starting or restarting a fitness program? I read BC eM’s poem, Whole Being Eating, for Laurie’s Stories. My painful, yet wonderfully lesson filled blog post called The Three Cs of My Identity Crisis followed up by mindful and thoughtful comments by Fionna, Amy from Wisconsin and Sue from the UK.
Woodland glade

Beautiful view from my newly discovered alternate podcast rock in the back of my local park.

Mentioned

Link to Fionna’s blog, Fionna Sings

Link to eM’s blog, A Wild One Within and the written version of her poem, Whole Being Eating

Last Show – see the comments from day 117

Day 38 where you can read new BC Karen’s comment

My 3-C Identity Crisis blog post with the photo of me in full on corporate splendor

Alen Standish’s podcast with his interview with Andrew Walen about his book, Man Up to Eating Disorders

Daily Adventure Tales Recommended Episodes

The Farmers Market (Cheryl’s Favorite)

All about beer (Mark’s 2nd favorite)

Pirate Mark (Mark’s Favorite)

Feeding the Ostrich (My Favorite)

Ways to support the show financially

Credits

Host: Laurie Weaver
Laurie’s Stories Intro Announcer: Mark Weaver
Laurie’s Stories Story written by: eM from A Wild One Within
Laurie’s Stories Reader: Laurie

Main Theme: I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1 Used by permission of Josh Woodward under a Creative Commons License

Sounds Used in Laurie’s Stories

  • Music Theme
    http://www.freesound.org/people/ShadyDave/sounds/262259/
  • Applause
    http://www.freesound.org/people/bulbastre/sounds/132154/
  • British Welcome
    http://www.freesound.org/people/Intimidated/sounds/61571/
  • Pages Turning
    http://www.freesound.org/people/zzzemon/sounds/176623/
  • Cello Loop
    http://www.freesound.org/people/Thirsk/sounds/121018/
  • Story Dreamland tinkling
    http://www.freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/196010/
  • Story Atmospheric Music
    http://www.freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/196010/

Other Sounds

  • Crowd Cheering
    http://www.freesound.org/people/xtrsounder/sounds/202498/
  • Crowd awww
    http://www.freesound.org/people/phmiller42/sounds/124996/
Comments box:

16 thoughts on “Ep 0118 – Results are Just Temporary Stops Along the Way

  1. dawny

    I got to listen to your lovely presentation today =-)
    all your postings sound so much better when you speak them to us =-) and I get to enjoy your ‘feeling’ with them

    This is a good ‘food for thought’ episode for me, and very timely

    just having an “im not even good enough for myself” kind of feeling today *sigh*

    some days… the feelings.. it’s like i try and try and get nowhere towards where im headed

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hugs Dawny, It must be the phase of the moon or something…

      just having an “im not even good enough for myself” kind of feeling today *sigh*

      Cause I have a HUGE case of this myself. Don’t know why. I’m blessed, things are going well, but I just don’t feel good enough for … fill in the blank. Not just body issues either. Confidence issues I think. But I’m going to let it roll, been here, done that before, and I’ll either figure it out and adjust or tomorrow will be another day. Glad you enjoy my reading of my blog posts! It’s partially to help my confidence, because it is MUCH easier to do my voice technique on my own words as I know what I meant. I’m making progress when I read the BC comments too, as I usually know what THEY mean. Now I’m trying to get there in my commercial reads. MUCH harder to be expressive and not sound fake when reading about burgers or hospitals hehehe. Anyway, off to practice some more. Thanks for the encouragement. xoxoxoxo

      Reply
      1. Dave

        If you consider that Compulsive Overeating Diary is about developing a healthy attitude about food, not weight loss, then you are very successful.

        Now the direction you are going with Mindful eating may lead to a healthier body and you are learning which makes you successful.

        You are not gaining weight at an unhealthy rate (like I am), but maintaining (maybe not your ideal weight, but not gaining) that makes you successful.

        You have given many BC’s hope, love and encouragement, that makes you really successful.

        Letting go: Most of your podcasts talk about letting go of something that is holding you back, maybe you could make and review a list of issues/thoughts you have shared (from previous podcast) that you were letting go of, and analyze if you really have let go of these things. Sorry if I’m giving advice

        “Patience” whats that?!?!?! LOL instead of letting go patience is one of those things I need to learn, patience with my progress.

        We never know when our time is going to end, so we should live to it to our fullest and let go of what we did or didn’t do” is what you are saying.

        Reply
        1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

          Hmmm, now THIS is a very useful list! I would recommend all BCs take a crack at it. No worries about advice. I have let go of most of my letting go topics, if not, I find I re-let them go another episode. I think my own perfectionism and impatience are at the root of all of my discontent. How many times have I thought I could take off all of the weight in one year? Or do X in one year. Well at my age one year is nothing! It is a blink of the eye. Yet I see one year as a measure that SHOULD have resulted in more results, HAHA. But as you correctly point out, in my case, I have had plenty of positive results, they just weren’t the ones I first set out to accomplish. Side positives. 🙂 How many of us are blind to these?

          Reply
      2. Dave

        “im not even good enough for myself” is the name of an robot alien, one of the worst because it comes from deep inside. I have to remember that if I’m good enough for my wife, my boss, my friends, the other BC’s and God, then I’m good enough for me. As Alen Standish says our life/journey is about progress not perfection, so we only have to be a little better than we were before, sometimes we will take 100 steps towards our dreams and goals, some times we will take 10 steps back, as long as the overall progress is positive then I’m good enough for me.

        Reply
    2. ♡eM

      Hello Dawny,
      I think I understand what you mean when you write, “I try and try and get nowhere towards where I’m headed.” I can’t speak for others, but I suspect we all have moments like this, times when we wish away what’s really going on for the allure of what we’ve planned, worked at, or even just dreamed about. It’s such a human thing to do, isn’t it? For me, I just try to take moments like these to just be with the moment. I know that seems cliche nowadays, but I’ve found it to be the best approach for me. Sometimes I feel painfully impatient. Other times I don’t really notice how or understand why I got ensnared into this type of thought trap again. I just try to let it be what it is, a momentary discomfort or even a pain. I try to let go of where I think I’m headed and accept where I am. It’s not easy, as I’m sure you know. But I think practicing acceptance of these moments can free us up to get up and go when it’s a better time. I just try not to feed the funk, or get stuck in the muck.
      Smiles!
      ♡eM

      Reply
      1. dawny

        thank you SOOO VERY much for this, and your thoughtful insights, I too find there is truth to what you are saying, working on practicing acceptance of ‘where’ AND ‘who’ I am in THIS MOMENT will get me farther in the long run (ha) than worry/fret/self defeat/deflate of where I am NOT or where I have been etc..

        Ive been practicing mindful-ness of just being, it’s different for me for sure, also ‘accepting’ where I am… understanding that I don’t have to ‘stay’ here BUT accepting and loving me NOW =-) and being the best I can be in any/all situations RIGHT now..
        the #wycwyc motto (what you can when you can)

        Reply
        1. Dave

          Dawny. Thank you for your comment “Ive been practicing mindful-ness of just being, it’s different for me for sure, also ‘accepting’ where I am… understanding that I don’t have to ‘stay’ here BUT accepting and loving me NOW =-) and being the best I can be in any/all situations RIGHT now”

          I have been practicing mindful-ness, but always with the goal to go somewhere, based on your comment I am going to focus on where I am at the moment and learning to accept it.

          Reply
  2. Dave

    Some thoughts triggered by this episode.

    Because I have been bingeing my way through the old episodes, I have seen the changes in Laurie and the BCs, I suspect there are those who have been unable to be as successful as Laurie and that may have caused them to stop participating, having lost hope….Personally I see Laurie’s success as a goal I can shoot for, I know I’m not progressing as fast as her and should not be comparing myself to her or anybody else. With all due respect if Laurie can do it with the struggles and all so can the rest of us.

    It is also summer time so maybe a lot of BC are on vacation or spending time with family and they will be back it the fall.

    There was a discussion in my 12 step meeting about being cured and having the “urges” go way. We came to the conclusion that the “urges” or in the case of the BC “fixation” on food, never go away. There are many recovery books that state the same thing. The only difference between addicts/compulsive… and healthy thinking people is that while we all have similar thoughts, those that struggling have not learned how to let the thoughts go. On top of all my other issues I am an alcoholic, I have been sober for 21 years, however there are moment even now where they craving is strong, however I learned techniques to let go of those thoughts. Unlike my compulsive overeating, those craving are strong and I struggle to let them go and the Robot Aliens win more often than not.

    I don’t mean to be a downer or steal anybodies hope. I believe we BC’s will always have strong thoughts about food (cravings/portion size/being conscious of what we put in our mouths), however the more we work through our issues the better we will be at letting those obsessive thoughts go. So in the future instead of having food battles minute by minute, they will be every now and then and months will go by without battles.

    Lost or wasted opportunities: This is one really big issues I have to learn to let go. It is also one of my biggest overeating triggers. I have lots of shame and guilt about what could have been. I spend a lot of time fantasizing what my life would be like if I had only…..

    One thing I have learned through therapy is to stop trying to stop the negative thoughts. There are those out there that taught me how to stop the thoughts and those who have taught me to analyze where the thoughts came from as a form of overcoming and to be honest I was good at it, but I did turn those activities in to a giant club to beat myself with and crush my self-esteem. The at church I heard its not a sin to have a “bad” thought, its a problem if you dwell on it. If you dwell on it long enough it becomes an action. My therapist confirmed this. He taught me to treat my mind like a river and thoughts like leaves floating by. Some leaves/thought you have to grab and hold on to…..pay that bill….stop at the store to buy milk…my wife’s birthday is coming up….. Other thoughts you acknowledge and let go floating down stream…..I am fat….(true but I’m working on it..float away)….I’m not as good as that person…(maybe but I don’t really know what I’m better at…float away)…Ice cream!!!! I need it now….(I don’t really need it now, but I can have some later…float away), while I have trouble remembering to use this technique when I do use it, I find myself more at ease with life.

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Thanks Dave for two new thoughts.

      I never in a MILLION years thought that I would be viewed as ‘too successful’ and that’s why a BC might quit listening. Exactly the opposite. I’ve been feeling so NOT SUCESSFUL, still struggling, still having all of this extra weight, not being any cure, let alone the magic cure that Amy wrote about and that we all wish we had. Wow, what a blessing to see myself through your eyes as a successful person. It is weird that it is so surprising, and points to me another place to focus my energy in therapy. Why do I feel a failure? I will say I’m not as bad at that as I used to be, but it still is ingrained so deeply that it’s my forest for the trees identity. Fat Chick, Failure Chick – in fact, I’d say I am the ‘Almost, but not quite good enough chick’. The runner up for the job, or middle of the pack. It is one thing I really struggle with in voice acting. There IS no perfect or best, only good enough technically and then the uniqueness that you bring to the read is the flavor the client wants. I’m just starting to see that is true for all things. Being competent isn’t being perfect. And our unique flavor is found in our flaws and our lessons and we need to bring those to highlight our strengths.

      Also, I love the thought river image. It’s a new way to see those thoughts, but not give them life and power. I’m going to try this out to see if I can move past my doubts and let myself continue to move ahead in my goals despite setbacks. It’s all I can really do, and I can no longer let my age add to my impatience. Like eM said before, I’m upset that my best case of remaining life minutes will not be enough to do everything I want. But then, that was NEVER true. It’s just when we are younger, it seems that time is endless and there is always hope. Now I am smacked in the face at every turn that time is NOT endless (when it comes to life in this body) and my choices matter. If I choose to let a day go, I will be fine with that. If I choose to eat ice cream in the morning I will be fine with that. To actually acknowledge that all of my life was a series of choices, that I wasn’t forced into anything, really. Every event I chose my reaction. I don’t like it, as that means I am at the very least partially responsible for many things I don’t like the result of. But then again, it does mean that if I am the author of my path, then I have some power to alter what I wish and to strengthen the rest. I think what you see as success is me simply not giving up this time as easily as I have in the past. And I’m not giving up in all areas of my life – not just on one obsessive project or program. I’m putting effort into relationships, bumpy and smooth, into voice acting, into the show, into my writing, into keeping my house more clean, into moving enough to help my mood, into cooking foods that make me feel more energetic and healthy, into forgiving myself when I chose not wisely. It is like I sit above my life and view the scene as if I were an artist and paint more here and smudge paint there, until it is more pleasing to me. So thanks again for your thoughtful reply. As you can see it does me good to get outside perspectives to ponder. I have faith in you too Dave, that you will find your way. It feels like you are in the long haul mode for your own life and you are giving yourself the patience to make small, but lasting change. Not as exciting, but in the end it’s the way of the artist creating a unique life long work. xoxoxoxox

      Reply
  3. Dave

    eM you poem, Whole Being Eating, was very…..peace inducing…a good meditation mantra. Thank you for sharing.

    I wonder do I have a problem with ……….. hmmm LOL

    Reply
  4. dawny

    Happy Tuesday Friends of Brave Companion land!!

    wishing everyone happy healthy wealthy goodness this day

    Reply

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