Ep 0143 – Mindfulness and Overcoming Lies We Tell Ourselves

Laurie gives an emotional smile in close-up under the trees
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Glad to be back on the podcast rock and surprised at what I’m letting go of today!

Podcast Recap

YAY! Wearing sneakers again, so back to the podcast rock. After hearing my surprising answer to Stéfanie’s secret topic of the day on Day 142, I’m inspired to clean up my subconscious. Comments following last show from Dawny and Stéfanie from Quebec. A great idea for us to be more positive based on Stéfanie’s comment. Thanks to Amazon Shoppers and to BC Mary S. for joining me on a project that’s just between us. Mark the Meditator returns and he shares some vulnerable truths from his heart.

Close up of Laurie's sneakers

Proof that the shoes are back on!

Mentioned

Last show and comments from Dawny and Stéfanie from Quebec

Insight Timer, the app Mark and I use for guided meditation

The Morning Mediation Mark Likes – on youtube (on the Insight App it also has music)

Our Social Media TAG is #CODBCS

Ways to support the show financially

Credits

Host: Laurie Weaver
Special Guest: Mark ‘The Meditator’ Weaver

Main Theme: I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1 Used by permission of Josh Woodward under a Creative Commons License

Comments box:

20 thoughts on “Ep 0143 – Mindfulness and Overcoming Lies We Tell Ourselves

  1. Dawny

    Such a lovely episode Laurie, as always. I always get so excited when I see a new listen appear.

    Yay to Mark for continuing to be brave and share with us his experiences. Not for lack of desire, I have yet to reach out to meditation but it is on the forefront of my mind, especially with the recent ongoing’s, turmoil/fiasco.

    I truly appreciate your compassion and reaching out to me Laurie offering kindness and condolence.
    I think it is super awesome that you’re able to acknowledge, reflect, realize and even more so openly admit that your personal liar opinion may have been an inner conflict in your own mind. I learn so much from you. It’s interesting how our internal dialogue’s be at a conscious level or not become absolute truth. I need that at a time right now of my life, where I feel like nothing is going right and I cannot catch a break. I keep running into wall after wall after wall. The insecurity of the unknown of my future, As far as where I will live, feeling out of control, being told over and over that I failed at financial management is discouraging and disheartening, especially since I know a lot of it was unintentional and could not have been prevented. I was playing the cards I was dealt. As we all know too well hindsight is 20/20 and onward we must go.
    I really started to lose my shit yesterday, there comes a point were too much just becomes too much and it starts to seep about, via tears and attitude and unkind words And actions. Ugh.

    One thing, I’m thankful for today, it’s a new day. And although sometimes it’s foggy to see I have several things to be thankful for, and I will get through this because I have to. And it will all work out in the end, of course because if it doesn’t that’s not the end right? LOts Of Laughing

    thank you for listening friendS. For always being understanding supportive and encouraging and just being there when I feel like the whole world has gone out

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Dawny, hugs, hugs and more hugs! Please do get the free insight timer app and try out some guided meditation. It gives you a little vacation from those cares and thoughts. I think it will give you some mental relief at best. Financial woes are tough. And you raised kids! Mark and I struggled a lot with money for years, as I had my own business that was really feast or famine when we got married – mostly famine. I remember when the vacation we looked forward to was a cut-rate hotel on the border of Nevada with a coupon, and a roll of nickels to play with – and when they were gone, that was it. It did have a pool I liked to swim in, and a great Mexican Restaurant we liked. That whole trip cost less than the gasoline now from CA to Vegas. And yet, those were really some of the best times Mark and I ever, ever had. I think the lack made us so super grateful for any relief, any fun, any item that we could get. To wake up each day, or before you go to sleep, to write down 3 things to be grateful for also helps a lot. I have been so struggling with grief and feeling like a failure this entire year, I thought I’d never be happy with my life again. It is tough to face these seemingly endless challenges outside of our control. The only thing we can control is our moment right now and our response. I am not a positive Polly, believe me gal, and I KNOW the last thing that sounds good is to have some new age mumbo jumbo on your plate, but try even 5-10 minutes of meditation for a week, and I would be vastly hornswoggled if not only do you feel better, but that some creative solutions don’t arise for you to try. xoxoxoxox

      Reply
      1. Josephine

        Hi Laurie,
        I LOVE your response to Dawny…I couldn’t have said it better myself. (Dawny, you hang in there!)

        And here’s a little secret about myself (I’m a ‘super nerd’….I LOVE WORDS!) It brings me joy when I encounter a seldom-used (these days…) word. Thanks for using ‘hornswoggled’. It’s been ‘a month-of-Sundays’ since I’ve seen that one used. You are a blessing to me. XOXO (PS: I also loved this phrase “new age mumbo jumbo.” : )

        Reply
        1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

          Hey there fellow word nerd! I’m happy you enjoy my idea of fun vocabulary. I always say I grew up in the boontoolies – and most look at me with a HUH? expression. That one is out in the sticks, the boondocks, nowheresville. But I must have gotten it from my family.

          Reply
          1. Josephine

            Word nerd: I love it!! I had never heard boontoolies before you said it but I knew what you meant. It’s a cool word for sure! Thank you, once again, dear Laurie, for bringing joy to my life. XOXO

      2. Dawny

        Thank you sooooo very much friends. Your support means a lot.
        I’m just trudging thru the day’s with one foot in front of the other and working on other things to focus on.

        I’ll get thru this. Staying strong and true.

        I appreciate having this place to share

        Reply
    2. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Dawny, I’m so hoping that things are feeling better today. I so get you about the seeping tears and unkind actions. I had a few of those even on our fun birthday trip. But all we can do is breathe and let the next moment happen so we can choose something good in it. Be it rest, love, or sending out hugs to a friend. I appreciate you and am sending you all the love I can, right now, so SMOOCH and know I really care. xoxoxo

      Reply
      1. Dawny

        Thank you friend. I am calm presently. Just one day at a time. Hurry up n wait. My emotions seem to ebe n flow.

        Reply
  2. Josephine

    Hello Laurie and Mark-
    I LOVED this episode (well, I pretty much love ALL of them *wink*) but the part I will always and forever remember is Mark, when you said “Affirminations,” They will forever more be ‘affirminations’ to me…just like when my kids were little and named something and even though they are long-since grown, we still call things the name from back in the day. Sometimes those made-up names are better than the originals! Anyway…..thanks to you two once again…I cannot tell you how much you bless me. Thanks for doing what you do. XOXO to both of you.

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hi Josephine, Mark got a big kick out of your enjoying his Affirminations. He often has interesting words come out due to his dyslexia – I do too, just from racing brain, I think. I thought it was cute too, and that was one of the moments during editing where I asked him if I should cut, and he laughed and said no, that he is who he is. I love that!

      Reply
  3. Stéfanie Lepage

    We think, therefore we are.
    And we are what we think.
    So let’s start thinking that those things we want
    are at arm’s reach.
    Hugs Dawny.
    Stéfanie xx

    Reply
  4. Amy from WI

    Hello Laurie,
    I found your reflection so interesting! Thank you for sharing your thoughts about how changing your thoughts about intuitive eating will likely change your ability to succeed. I am looking forward to hearing how your changing mindset affects your actions.

    I loved your 5 things you are good at section. Since I tend to be really hard on myself, I thought I would throw in 5 things that I am good at. I’m good at interacting with little kids. I’m really good at introspection and being in touch with myself. I’m good at making quilts! I’m good at caring for and helping others. I’m great at organizing and maintaining organizations 🙂

    I know I haven’t commented lately, but I am enjoying the show and appreciate your work at putting it out.

    Amy

    Reply
    1. Josephine

      Hi Amy,
      Your comment about being really hard on yourself is such a common thread among the BC’s. Why is it easy and natural to be gentle and understanding to others but so terribly hard to show the same kindness to ourselves? I have pondered this my whole life but feel no closer to the answer. It does help to know I’m not the only one…which is also a common thread among the BCs….we all seem so isolated and feel so alone. That is why I am so truly thankful to have found Laurie’s podcast and all of you wonderful BCs. PS: You quilt beautifully. PSS: Thanks, Laurie! None of this would be possible if not for you. XOXOXO

      Reply
    2. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Whoo Hoo! Hey there Amy, great to hear from you! I love your list – I think that is a portrait of a kick-butt kind of big heart. I think we do all tend to discount ourselves. It is soooo easy to get lost in picking ourselves apart for perceived failure instead of focusing on what we’ve gotten right or what valuable lessons we’ve learned and applied. That last is a new one for me. It’s kind of easy to say, “Well THAT was a lesson learned”, but how often do we actually give ourselves CREDIT for applying a lesson? Sometimes I think the learning of lessons is so painful, we don’t like to revisit them – even to give ourselves a break. For example, I was SO totally shocked by that liar comment I made during Stéfanie’s secret topic, that I spent many days feeling ashamed of myself for unconsciously discounting my ability vs. appreciating the ‘aha’ moment that might make my life easier. Why is it I think I should have gotten every moment of my life perfect from the get go, and needing to learn is somehow shameful? Weird for a former teacher! Learning continues our entire lives and needing to learn is nothing to be ashamed of. This is a great letting go moment for me, so thanks, dear Amy for having the conversation. It keeps me motivated for sure – oh yes, helping is on your list! xoxoxoxox

      Reply
  5. Dave

    Can you be mindfully while thinking about being mindful?
    My wife and I went away for the weekend (it was somebodies 50th Birthday – not mine–). We left work on Friday for a 2.5 hour drive. On the way we discussed our plans for the future and the things we had to do when we got back (I know not very mindful). We checked in and got settled, she cooked up some hot chocolate and I lit a fired. We slowly drifted off into our own mental spaces, after about 1 hour I realized that I had not enjoyed the fire or the sound of the ocean. I kept trying to force my mind back to the present moment and the harder I tried the less relaxed I was becoming, when we finally went to bed I was quite agitated.
    The next day I woke up, before my wife, heated up a cup of hot cocoa and went out on the patio and watched the waves and felt the breeze and the rain.
    We live in the Pacific Northwet –yes I typed Northwet. This time of the year Washington State is usually grey and wet until next April. Once in a rare while we get snow in the low lands. We planned this trip to the coast hoping to see a wild winter storm, the wind blew and the rain fell in buckets.
    Once my wife woke up we went out for breakfast, while we ate we talked about how hard it was for us to get our minds to wind down, and how hard we are working to me mindful. When done we drove back to the condo and readied ourselves to go down to the beach. Somewhere along the way I forgot about the future and forgot to be mindful.
    We walked along the beach, checked out the wild life (ok 2-3 sand dollars) collected rocks (It is a Glowen thing – go to the beach and bring home rocks). We were chased by the waves and one snuck up on us and soaked my wife up to her knees. The rain fell and the wind blew, we walked and talked and held hands. At one point we left the beach and walked into the rainforest, we found a throne and bench made out of driftwood and the canopy of tree leaves protected us from the rain.
    Almost 3 hrs later we made it back to our condo, we dried off and sat down to a lunch of tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. We sat there with our hot chocolate and watched the rain dance as the wind swirled around and I realized we had just spent 3 hours being mindful without thinking about being mindful.
    So to answer my question: Can you be mindfully while thinking about being mindful? The answer is NO. Being mindful is the practice of enjoying the here and now, without any other intention.

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Northwet hahahahaha! Believe it or not, I hadn’t heard that one before. I love your question here.

      Can you be mindful while thinking about being mindful?

      I think so many of us are perfectionists, that we try to mindfully do mindfully right – and then it eludes us. Just like I’ve learned while coping with insomnia, that worrying about needing to fall asleep is the sleep killer, and thinking about something else allows the natural process more of a chance. I believe that is similar. When I am actually being intuitive when eating (or not), it is not an effort for me. I’m not thinking about food much, if I’m not hungry. I’m taking my time when I do eat because I enjoy the taste and textures of the food – not because I know chewing x amount of times and putting forks down between bites is a good rule to follow. I’m also not eating weird diet things I wouldn’t eat normally. But when I freak out about my weight, or I’m worried about other issues, and my body is easier to worry about, I get all in my head about what I should be doing. And I know many good tips and processes for intuitive eating at this point. However, just like you describe in your beach outing, sometimes we just need to let it all go for things to work out. I love your answer as well. Letting ourselves just be is one of the best gifts we can give. I wonder why that is so very hard for us at times? xoxoxoxox

      Reply

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