Ep 0033 – Singing a Song of Negativity, Balance and Hope

Laurie stands by the end of trail marker.
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Me by the end of trail marker at my upper Zen place.

Podcast Recap

From a foggy mountain top, I give you a glimpse inside of my pissy mood from yesterday where I learn a lot about myself from comments left on day 32 by new brave companion, Jerry, and by long term, faithful companion, Sue. I also face one of my biggest fears and sing a song I wrote at age 8.
Fog swirls through the trees

The mysterious, foggy morning at my upper Zen place during the recording of episode 33.


My epic Alien Battle over computer woes, episode 32

Jerry’s comment on day 32 which inspired me to look much more deeply inside myself

Sue’s comment which inspired me to step beyond my fear

Catch up with Laurie

My Spreaker page. Please follow me there if you are on Spreaker.

My Instagram page at LaurieDreamWeaver

My new page with instructions for all of the ways (so far) that you can send audio and lend your voice to this podcast.

New free way to leave voicemail http://speakpipe.com/laurieweaver You can also click the blue button on this page that says ‘send a voice message.’

Bravery Hotline

Leave your comments, questions, feelings and stories on Laurie’s podcast voicemail hotline – 206-350-6445.


Host: Laurie Weaver

Main Theme: I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1

I’m Letting Go (Josh Woodward) / CC BY 3.0

Resource of the day

Affirmation Cards A fun, interactive resource from the U.K. based, blog, A Place for the Heart. Perfect for those days when we need an extra boost of positive thinking. Shuffle the deck, like online tarot, think your question, choose your card, and voilà!
Comments box:

14 thoughts on “Ep 0033 – Singing a Song of Negativity, Balance and Hope

  1. Sue

    Well done you! I was nearly in tears listening to you singing, knowing how much courage it must have taken to do it. Bravo! (You probably won’t HEAR this: but it was good!)

    Your podcast today reminded me of a book I read recently. One of the things that hit home to me is the issue of self bullying! If anyone else spoke to us in the way we speak to ourselves we would call them a bully and reject the nonsense. Sometimes we have to stop and think: is this how we would react to someone else in a similar situation?

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Thanks Sue, I have tears in MY eyes, to hear someone say they like my singing. I appreciate it, and the push to pursue it further. What’s the name of your book? It sounds interesting. I do believe we internalize criticism and replay it ‘under the hood’ and that is part of the self-doubt, and low-self-esteem problem that on the surface, seems silly. I’ve been trying to challenge those voices lately and I think it’s helping.

  2. Helen

    Hi Laurie, I wanted to come on and congratulate you on your bravery for singing, you have a lovely voice well done.
    thanks for the link to the affirmations page and it just happens that I have read some of Louise Hays books, she seems such a wonderful person, here’s my affirmation for today below (good advice)
    I Let go of all Expectations
    I flow freely and lovingly with life.
    I love myself. I know that only good awaits me at every turn.

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Ahh Helen thank you! I’m still in contact with the singing teacher that Brave Companion Sandy recommended, I’m just waiting for Autumn when our schedule and our budget is a bit more stable. Also I’m SO glad you love those affirmations as much as I do.

      I Let go of all Expectations
      I flow freely and lovingly with life.
      I love myself. I know that only good awaits me at every turn.

      This one that you highlight is so great, and just what I needed to hear today. I’m getting really nervous about something that’s happening tomorrow. I’ll tell you all about it next show if it goes as planned. But for now, just know, you were part of the really good things that are happening to help me right now.

      Hugs and good thoughts winging your way from me to you.

  3. Happy With My Body

    I love this episode, I think it was one of the strongest thus far. It was so vulnerable, sincer and brave. The things you said about the difference between bingeing and compulsive overeating made me reflect once more on my own issues with food. But mostly you really helped me by sharing your thoughts and the underlying reasons to your “pissy mood”. This show really came to me on a perfect day. A day when I am feeling stressed, pressured, inadequate and guilty over things in both my worklife and personal life. You end the show by saying: so if you have a shitty day today, remember to be nice to yourself. Instinctively, I don’t want to. Why? Because I don’t feel like I have deserved it. I realise that is part of my problem. Being so hard on myself I am not even willing to cut myself some slack. Instead, my instinctive response is to beat myself up and then push myself harder. Is that something you or any other BC:s recognise?

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hi Happy, I’m quite glad you like the direction that the show started going in, as you can expect more of the same. We discuss all kinds of ups and downs as we move along. My one thought for you about why we want to beat ourselves up is that from my experience, when I am hurt and I feel pain, I have a wrong-headed idea that if ONLY I AM FIRM ENOUGH with myself, I won’t put myself in that hurtful situation again. But the problem is, that the hurt part of me is often the part that is seeking food, or other non-productive avoidance behaviors to self-soothe. When I berate myself for failing in diet, or anything else, I make that uncounscious hurt part long even more for compassion, and it will do all in its power to gain some love with food or other means. When I actually give myself LOVE and understanding, and try to get to the root of it all, my inner hurt part feels better. I’m less likely to feel the need to unconsciously self-soothe myself with food, as I am self-soothing consciously. Now that might be me making an effort to literally speak kindly to myself. It might be me taking a bath (I love a good soak), it might be me arranging a massage, it might be me telling Mark I want a hug from him. It might be me holding and brushing my cat to feel his warm, loving body as he shows me affection with purring and burrowing into my arms. Then only after I feel some self love, do I look back at what was happening to cause my trouble. This gives me distance and the ability to consider the roots. Sometimes this is enough to not repeat, or at least lets me feel not crazy and not self-destructive. I hope this helps, dear Happy. xoxoxoxox

      1. Happy With My Body

        I really like that Idea! Next time I will try to put something good, maybe even enjoyable, between myself and the bad experience. And then – only AFTER I calm down and can approach myself in a non-judgemental way – I will reflect on what happened, my part in it and the underlying reasons for my actions. I am so glad for your support, dear Laurie. This truly is remarkable what you are doing

  4. Dave

    I just heard you singing and you might want to give yourself a break and forgive and forget the music teacher that told you you can’t sing, you may need some tweaking but I think you could sing in front of a crowd with a little practice.

    That being said I know what it is like to feel like a fool when trying to sing, I have been asked to leave a choir because I was so bad that I negatively affected those around me.

    I wish with all my heart I could sing. and this podcast has inspired me to look into getting lessons or something. In fact I was invited to sing with the men’s group at church it is only one time, but maybe I can find someone who can get me started down the right path.

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      I wish with all my heart I could sing. and this podcast has inspired me to look into getting lessons or something. In fact I was invited to sing with the men’s group at church it is only one time, but maybe I can find someone who can get me started down the right path.

      Oh Dave, I SO recommend you go on the bravery report and DO THIS! I did begin singing lessons as one of my adventures this year due to the podcast. I CAN sing, and I love to do it. You will hear some versions of this (some better than others) as you move ahead with the show. It has brought so much joy to my life and taught me so much about being the moment and paying attention to my body in ways that have nothing to do with size or eating. It is miraculous! Your entire body is your instrument and you can fill your life with joy by singing. xoxoxoxoxox

          1. Dave

            Sing, my Angel! I wish I could sing like Michael Crawford…

            By the way Love Never Dies is set 20 years after PotO, and Raul is a jackass now and there is also someone new who thinks like the phantom……

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