Ep 0053 – Finding Emotional Support and Stéfanie’s Secret Topic 2

Laurie holds back her hat brim under the Camellia bushes
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I have fun playing like I’m Mary Tyler Moore among the Camellia bushes at Descanso.

Podcast Recap

Emotions run wild as I learn how to face life without numbing it with diets and bingeing. Looking for a photo from my childhood inspires a blog post about reintergrating both pain and joy that I’ve blocked out. I ponder finding a therapist to help me. New brave companion Millie asks if it seems odd to wish her sisters would all join her on her journey so they could be learning together. Cheryl, Stéfanie and I comment. We end with Stéfanie’s Secret Topic 2. What will come to mind as I hear Stéfanie’s newest Secret Topic at the same time as you do?
A single camellia peeks out in the bush near a handy bench among the trees.

A single camellia peeks out in the bush near a handy bench among the trees.

Mentioned

Millie’s question about her sisters and her desire to be on the same path with them on Day 52

My thoughts on Millie’s question

Cheryl’s supportive reply to Millie

Stéfanie’s equally supportive reply to Millie

My Dancing and Memory Box blog post – see my tiny ballerina photo

The Day with the Meditation resource Cheryl checked out. Scroll down to “Resource of the Day”.

So You Think You Can Dance – TV website

Catch up with Laurie

My Spreaker page. Please follow me there if you are on Spreaker.

My Instagram page at LaurieDreamWeaver

FaceBook Page if you want to sign up for our email list by clicking Tiger the Cat’s Sign-up button

Laurie on Tumblr

My page with instructions for all of the ways (so far) that you can send audio and lend your voice to this podcast.

New free way to leave voicemail http://speakpipe.com/laurieweaver You can also click the blue button on this page that says ‘send a voice message.’

Bravery Hotline

Leave your comments, questions, feelings and stories on Laurie’s podcast voicemail hotline – 206-350-6445.

Credits

Host: Laurie Weaver
Stéfanie’s Secret Topic Intro Announcer: Mark Weaver
Stéfanie’s Secret Topic concept, content and voice by: Stéfanie Lepage

Main Theme:I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1

I’m Letting Go (Josh Woodward) / CC BY 3.0

Sounds used in Stéfanie’s Secret Topic Intro

  • Space background loop
    http://www.freesound.org/people/zagi2/sounds/178573/
  • Space Alien ray gun zap sound
    http://www.freesound.org/people/NoiseCollector/sounds/43041/
  • The Human Has been Neutralised
    http://www.freesound.org/people/cityrocker/sounds/128649/
  • Eating Chips
    http://www.freesound.org/people/fresco/sounds/48933/
  • Zen Cello
    http://www.freesound.org/people/Nightlife999/sounds/144971/

Resource of the day


A trip down memory lane in the US. Watch again the opening of the iconic Mary Tyler Moore Show on YouTube.
The show aired on CBS from 1970 to 1977 (The year I graduated High School). The program was a television breakthrough, with the first never-married, independent career woman as the central character:
Comments box:

6 thoughts on “Ep 0053 – Finding Emotional Support and Stéfanie’s Secret Topic 2

  1. Cheryl

    Very honest show, Laurie. Really felt like this one you were digging down deep. And Stefanie’s topic fit right in there. In fact, the question Stefanie asked is the one that gives me the most discouragement. That feeling of thinking I have to be on guard every single time I’m anywhere around food for the rest of my life makes me just want to throw my hands up in the air and give up. What an important subject, Stefanie.

    But as I listened to you talking about an abacus, Laurie, I had an epiphany (kind of) about the whole way of life thing (or should I say “weigh” of life, LOL). You made me think of relationships in general, and his lordship and I learned about the “checkbook” technique of relationships a long time ago. That’s where every time you do something affirmative for your spouse, partner, friend, whatever, it goes in their checkbook as a deposit. But if you do something not so great, something negative like hollerin’ at them for no good reason (or just ’cause you’re on a diet AGAIN and you’re hungry), that becomes a withdrawal. The trick in relationships is to keep that checkbook not just in balance, but with a surplus of positive stuff in there. Ideally we want WAY more deposits than withdrawals.

    It dawned on me maybe that’s the way I should be looking at the whole learning to eat better issue. Every time I make a good choice I make a deposit in my diet checkbook. Bad choice, withdrawal. Then maybe if I know that my balance is always going to be in flux, sometimes in the red, sometimes the black, perhaps the whole long-term, LIFE-term aspect of it won’t bother me so much. For one thing, it takes away the whole belief that I can get it right all the time.

    Wouldn’t it be great to actually set up a diet checkbook like that to keep track of how you did daily? All I’d need is a blank check register. Might be fun to go pick out a special checkbook cover. I’m going to have to do some thinking about that… Way to go, Laurie and Stefanie!

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Cheryl you are so right that this particular episode was very authentic for me. I always try to ‘tell it like it is’, but to admit that the emotions being churned up by this process were beyond me was scary and in a weird way, unexpectedly humbling. I was also a bit shocked that Stéfanie’s Secret Topic was so on the nose for what I was thinking anyway! But I love how having another mind thinking about these topics can tweak my own thinking about them. I was reading yesterday in a book that Kendra Recommended, Intuitive Eating, that all of the hyper vigilance I’m going through now will eventually become second nature. It was compared to how much we need to concentrate learn to drive a car and how now, we don’t think much about driving the car, and think more about the road. This was very comforting to me, and very much what Stéfanie was asking about.

      I think your checkbox idea sounds interesting! I know my trusty abbacus vision has helped me quite a bit through the years. The whole notion of observing my behavior without blame, and thinking, “What can I do right NOW to move one bead to the good”, helps to stop the despair and backsliding to which I’m prone. It’s counter to black and white thinking.

      Reply
      1. Millie

        Laurie, Thank you for responding to my comments and questions. I heard it on your podcast and it was helpful. Millie

        Reply
  2. Stéfanie

    Abacus and checkbooks. great ideas. I like the metaphor and see how it applies very well!

    I wanted to comment some more about Millie’s question and to the wonderful discussion it provoked, revolving around support. I loved the further thoughts you shared on the podcast Laurie. It made me think:

    Although my friends and family are not in the same journey as I am, they are very supportive of me. Thank God they are still hanging in there with me, because I know I can be quite overwhelming as I talk and talk and talk a LOT about my journey, my tricks, my discoveries, my insights on this whole process… Lets face it! I used to be obsessed with consuming food, and now I transferred my obsession into talking about my food issues. So, as this is my main interest right now, a lot about the stories I tell revolve around this topic. My surroundings have been very good listeners, but they must sometimes think, in the back of their heads, that I need to get over it.

    The point I’m trying to make here is that this podcast and it’s community has been very soothing in that need I have to discuss this topic in lenght. Because I listen, discuss, comment this podcast, I am less needy with my ‘non BC’ support. In some way, thank you to BCs and to Laurie, as you are not only helping ME, but you are also relieving my loved ones! Isn’t that wonderful?? 🙂

    Laurie, I know I said this often, but let me say it again, one of the magic touches of this podcast is this COMMUNITY. I’ve listened to quite a bit of podcasts and let me tell you, this community you built around it makes it so rich and meaningful… xx

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      I agree Stéfanie, that’s why I SO love when the BC’s comment to each other, and why I do the HAPPY DANCE whenever anyone calls the bravery hotline or sends me audio with permission to put it on the air. The greater our circle of support, the lighter each burden. One of the major themes I’m dealing with in therapy is my habit of isolation. I pull back and/or “Want to do everything ALL MYSELF”, because I feel I will be hurt or disappointed by others. And guess what, I WILL be. We all will from time to time. That’s why it is so important to interact, take chances and learn to tolerate non-perfection in myself and others. I love your secret topic feature because it is so freeing to just “let go” AND because your wonderful voice is very popular and it is good to have more than one voice on the show. Like salt in the soup. Differing views enhance the message.
      That is also why I think for each of us to adopt some model like the abacus or checkbook that helps us see that our choices are truly moment by moment and change is just one moment away is so powerful. It’s very hard to change 50 years of habit. Easy to think differently for 1 moment. Then those moments add up to something new. 🙂

      xx

      PS, I HAD to make a podcast to be able to talk a lot, since my surrounding loved ones just can’t handle me for as long as I go on 😉

      Reply

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