Ep 0059 – Fear of Giving up the Scale, Bike Riding Joy and How Portion Sizes Impact My Intuitive Eating

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Well you can’t see as much sweat as I feared – thank goodness! But I did like this photo featuring my tie-dye head-sweat scarf.

Podcast Recap

Stéfanie and Sue are on the bravery report for taking a leap of faith and trying 10 days without the scale. Sadly, I’m still not ready. On the positive side, my bike riding and hiking have been fantastic due to feeding myself enough food to support these activities. Who knew that fitness could actually feel fun? Serving sizes take on a new meaning with my intuitive eating practice. Shout-outs to new Facebook poster and brave companion, Lucy, to my first Amazon.com shopper, and to the 10 brave companions who have me on their Stitcher playlists.

Marine layer covers the distant mountain range

If you look closely, you can see the marine layer of clouds covering up the mountains across the way. It’s this that makes it so humid in June.

Laurie and Mark in bike gear

Me and my Sweetheart

Laurie in bike gear with her bike

My latest bravery. I asked Mark to take a photo of me full body in my clingy bike gear on our last bike ride! I also added the full resolution version of this one to my weight photos page. Even though my weight is slightly up, I feel I look as good as I felt on the ride – fantastic!


My YouTube Action Video of my Bike Ride from the Pasadena Rosebowl with my live commentary from one year ago

Listen to Compulsive Overeating Diary on Stitcher. Thanks for putting me on your playlist!

Stéfanie’s Scale challenge on Day 58

Lucy’s Hello on Facebook

I’m leaving the link to Crystal’s post to encourage you to go check it out!
Crystal’s AMAZING post on Who are the Brave Companions?

Do you want to buy this book or anything else on Amazon? – please use the links below (See, I’m still practicing being assertive.)

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Host: Laurie Weaver

Main Theme:I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1

I’m Letting Go (Josh Woodward) / CC BY 3.0

Resource of the day

Intuitive Eating Online Community.
A safe community created by one of the authors of Intuitive Eating
Comments box:

8 thoughts on “Ep 0059 – Fear of Giving up the Scale, Bike Riding Joy and How Portion Sizes Impact My Intuitive Eating

  1. Stéfanie

    This scale thing may be part of a larger scheme that involves this obsession we all have for the ‘quantification of ourselves’. I don’t know if that’s the right expression as I translated it from french. I’ve been hearing about this topic and it makes perfect sense. This started in the business world being more and more prone to measure performance, but this is now translating in our personal lives. We are obsessed with numbers that quantify us.

    Myself, I quantify my sleep, my calories, my weight, my water consumption, etc. I am particularly obsessed with my running numbers (speed, milleage, heart rate, and a bunch of other stuff). Right now, I just printed out June’s report on my running progress. I have all these little techno gadgets that help me with this over-quantification too. And you should see all my apps… Your podcast triggered me into thinking some more about this issue with this very counter-intuitive tracking stuff. Each of us have our own sets of numbers we like to monitor. For example, my teenager looks at her ‘likes’ on social medias… My best friend quantifies her sex life to make sure it’s ‘steady and healthy’… and she has that as an app! Imagine… and books sell because of titles such as ‘Become your own CEO’… Well! Flash news! My body is NOT a f* business!!!

    I just red an article on Intuitive running (http://www.jennyhadfield.com/take-the-timeless-challenge-run-a-personal-record/) it’s not actually called Intuitive running, but that’s what it is!!! it’s funny I fell on this article in the same timeframe than your podcast since they strongly relate: listening to your body, not to your watch, to run better. I will be trying that, although, to be honest, the watch will still be on me, but out of reach and eye sight, as I am not quite ready to completely let go haha 🙂

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      You make a VERY interesting point Stéfanie. Your phrase, quantification of ourselves, would be perfect in English for its meaning, though I’ve not heard of it. I think the reason for THAT is because most of us in today’s day and age, are so used to quantifying ourselves to compare how “we are doing” that the phrase would be redundant. Your running reminds me of bike riding without my computer. Bike Computers tell you everything. Your speed, average speed, cadence (revolutions per minute of the pedals), trip time, fastest speed. Often I would have my eye on the computer while riding to adjust my pace vs. feeling my body’s energy. I also never saw the wild life along the river with my eyes glued to the computer. Then my battery ran out and we just didn’t replace it for a few rides. Riding “blind”, just listening to my body to push when I felt like it, to tackle the hills as I could, I too improved my performance. AND I saw all of the birds and the beauty of the ride. After replacing the battery, I now look at the computer pretty much only at the end of the ride, or to see distance if we are training for a particular milage. I think that is also part of our obsession with all numbers to “prove we are good or better”. Money, Likes, Comments even 🙂 But in reality, while it would look great to see 100 comments on this post, if they were all spam, or people who didn’t care really, what good would that do me in my journey, or what good would it do the sincere brave companions who benefit? One thoughtful comment, such as yours, provides true value. I’m starting to see this in all areas of life. Buy what you truly NEED or truly LOVE because stuff takes your time and attention. Eat what your body NEEDS or truly LOVES because that makes you strong, energetic and delighted. Run/Bike/Hike with distance and endurance and speed as your body needs and because your spirit LOVES it, and exercise will likewise be a delight, not a burden. You’ve really made me feel better about my scale woes, Stéfanie. I am doing awesome with my biking and hiking, no matter what my weight number. I shall spend some time pondering and appreciating that. Thank you!

  2. Stephanie

    Hi guys (hi Lucy, welcome!),

    I very much enjoyed this episode. I have stopped weighing myself and using my calory counting app for about a week now and while it makes me feel liberated it also makes me feel nervous. And Stefanie, I have exactly the same issue with logging my runs! If my phone runs out of battery and I can’t record my results, I stop and go home (and usually have a little binge to make myself feel better). If it’s not written down, it doesn’t count! And if I am tired after running for an hour, but my app doesn’t tell me I have had enough – I keep running.
    We really do need to stop abusing our poor bodies. They give us so much and we treat them worse than we would treat any animal!

    I’ve been trying to follow intuitive eating and I can relate to what Laurie says about portion sizes. My thoughts usually go like this:
    1) I can have whatever I want – great. I will have food XY which I have restricted (so something “unhealthy”) – which is FINE but high in calories so by logic I should feel full after a smaller amount.
    2) I don’t like throwing away food, so I will prepare small portion.
    3) The portion is so small – I only get to eat so little *starts feeling nervous and deprived*
    4) When my plate is empty, I want more and am now too stressed out (cause I SHOULD be full right!) about not being able to tell if I am full or not
    5) really depends. Sometimes I overeat, sometimes I decide to revisit this situation in 20 minutes and I am fine.

    When my portions are huge I find it easier to leave some food on my plate, but on days where I finish that portion I feel guilty and I can feel that “you’ve already failed, might as well eat some cake as well” feeling. I am also fairly sure that, when I DO get the hang of this, I will compulsively start thinking that if I don’t leave food on my plate, I’ve done it wrong and the guilt will creep into my head. I hope that I will start preparing the right amount of food because my mind has learned to trust my body and my body has learned to trust my active mind and rely that the portion is just right, based on positive experience. Currently those two do not get along very well:)

    I lost some weight before I started intuitive eating because I restricted my food intake so much I almost passed out twice due to lack of energy. Now that I am eating whatever I want I am also very worried the pounds will come back. I know it shouldn’t matter, and I hope one day it really won’t.

    So as you can see Laurie, your episode really spoke to me and adressed so many of my concerns that I thought I was alone with. So thank you for showing me that is not the case:)

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hallo Stephanie, es ist schön, dich wieder zu sehen!

      Your list about portions is EXACTLY what I go through. I too hate to toss food, but have come to the conclusion that it is better to put food in the trash than on my body if I’m not hungry – OR if it isn’t SUPER DELICIOUS (I would make an exception for food that is something special, or a special occasion etc.) I tried my own advice today and made a snack after my walk to the park as I was hungry. I served myself a little more than I usually would, and I “heard” that little click that told me I was satisfied. It is very different than the “I’m full” feeling that I’m used to. I’m so amazed and proud, I’m going to write a blog post today about my victory. I’m glad you enjoyed the episode and could relate. Between your and Stéfanie’s comments, I really have a better feeling about how to tackle moving forward with this process. I have to laugh about your running “not counting”, as I have a FitBit pedometer, which I love. I used to wear it EVERYWHERE and felt that steps without it were somehow “lessor” and I should be saving my steps for when I had the FitBit on again. That is crazy! Because why was I walking in the first place, if not for my body’s sake? I’ll tell you, it was to burn calories and eat more! If I didn’t have the FitBit on, I wouldn’t see the happy message about the extra food I could eat after walking. That is a big, big trap for me if I go with calories. A few years ago I decided that even if I exercised I wouldn’t eat more unless I was hungry and stuck to it. Because I was literally exercising for hours a day just to eat. I much prefer eating to exercise 🙂 Anyway, thanks again for your thoughts and for sharing with us.

  3. Cheryl

    Wow! Not only was that podcast great, but I identified so much with the responses from Stefanie and Stephanie. Laurie, I am so inspired by listening to your journey. I laughed when I read your Star Trek comment because you certainly are “bravely going where most of us have never gone before!” It’s so fabulous to hear you excited about the way you feel when you’re biking and hiking. Makes me think, “I want to be there, too!” Who knows, maybe someday soon…

    I am SO one of those people who can’t go a day without getting on the scales. Since I’m diabetic, it’s just part of my routine when I do my fasting blood sugar in the morning. And the truth is I, too, get very nervous on those rare occasions I’ve forgotten and got my shoes and everything on. I’m not sure whether that’s because I’m struggling so hard to get my weight down so it will affect my A1C, or whether it’s just a response to deviating from my regular routine. There are times I also think the only purpose the scale serves is to tell me if I “cheated ok” the day before. No weight gain? Then I know how much I can cheat again today. It’s all SO knotted together.

    Since I’ve been reading the book and paying more attention to how I’m feeling before/after/in between eating, I’ve realized I have a very slow digestive system. I’m not sure what that means. But we had dinner last night at 6:00. I had 3 oz. of steak, half a medium baked potato, a spoonful of five different items from the salad bar, and one roll. We went to the movies after, and when I got home at 10:30 I realized I was still full. Was thirsty, so had a glass of water and then felt dern near sick. It’s as if everything just sits there forever.

    And I’m thinking maybe that’s one reason why I’m really a morning person. When I do get up in the morning my stomach doesn’t feel bogged down with food and I eat a very small breakfast. I think that’s interesting. (Though one thing may have nothing to do with the other. Who knows…)

    As to Stefanie’s “Quantified Self,” I think she’s right. That mentality of being a HUMAN DOING rather than a HUMAN BEING permeates our culture more and more every day. This past tax season was my first adventure in working for a corporation. NEVER AGAIN! That is exactly the way it was there. You were nothing but a number that needed to put out X amount of effort every day. That isn’t life.

    There is so much more to talk about in the program today, but can wait for another time. Just want to give Lucy a holler and say HOWDY, and welcome to the BC’s!

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Human Doing, what a great way to describe it! I realize that I have been doing, doing, doing, FOREVER! I’m so sick of it. And so happy to be doing some things just for the pure joy of it. Funny, even cleaning the house is much more fun when I do it for the joy it gives me to live in a comfortable home. Attitude makes such a difference in me. I have been truly, a negative person most of my life and have expected negative things, and not been disappointed. Doing all of this work now, and learning to let go, I’m really happily surprised most days. I’m finally expecting something good for the most part, and I’ve not been disappointed in that either. I guess perspective is really important to our life experience. It colors so much of how we feel and what we perceive. Even the blasted scale. I still get weighed, but it is very much losing its power. I’ve been 208 this week, 210, and even 211.5. But it all seems to even out. My mood is much better, and my endurance continues to increase. I can’t truthfully say I don’t care what I weigh, but I can say, I’m not defined by it most days. A big win, in my book.


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