Ep 0063 – My Dream Self vs. My Current Self and about Intuitive Exercise

Laurie in glasses and a sleeveless blouse
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I like this selfie taken from above. I’m sitting on my podcast rock in the local park and it is HOT and HUMID and flies are buzzing me!

Podcast Recap

I surprisingly recognize how I’ve been holding on to an impossible dream version of myself and how I need to let that go to appreciate the Laurie in the here and now. Shout-outs to Sue and Sandy for supporting Crystal on her brave post on the ‘Who are the Brave Companions page’, thank you to Amazon shoppers in the UK and US. I mention another way to support the podcast financially. Welcome to new listeners Dawny from Spokane and Garden Girl KP who found us via Alen’s interview. More reactions from brave companions about the interview and I list why I’m grateful it happened. Alen asks the brave companions for input on our next interview. I get the comments and thoughts from brave companions, old and new, that I asked for about my scale struggle. I ponder the benefits of intuitive exercise.
Laurie takes a photo of herself wearing shorts in the mirror.

I’m either out of my mind or in a VERY brave mood today. Here’s photo proof that I actually wore baggy shorts in public to the park. Wanting to feel comfortable in the weather beat fear of exposing my lumpy legs.


Alen Standish Interviews Me for Episode 42 of Progress, Not Perfection. Take a listen, and if you like it, please post your thoughts to Alen on his blog as well as here, if you’ve a mind to comment 🙂

Button to “Buy me a $5.00 cup of coffee” if you wish to support the podcast financially.

The episode where I explained how weird I feel about ever asking for money on Day 57

The episode where Kendra called the bravery hotline and gave us the protein tip

The episode where Brandi called the bravery hotline. If you haven’t heard this one, give it a listen. Brandi is so honest, funny and touching

The Episode about the Lull, or boredom, that Dawny Mentions

Garden Girl KP’s Blog

Garden Girl’s Interesting Comments about the scale on FB

Cheryl’s Comment about the Scale on Day 62

Stephanie from Germany’s nice comment about Alen and my interview on Day 62

Stéfanie’s comment about her house renovation on Day 61

Sue’s Comment about the scale challenge on Day 61

The shocking cat photo that started this show

Do you want to buy this book or anything else on Amazon? – please use the links below

Intuitive Eating

Want to have Fun Being Foolish too?

Participate in our new feature called “Foolish Fun“. Just call the bravery hotline 206-350-6445 or check out the send audio page on http://www.compulsiveovereatingdiary.com/how-to-send-audio/
And tell us a joke, riddle, a silly story, limerick, sing a song, play a kazoo, ANYTHING but talk about compulsive eating. This is the feature where messing up is just part of the act! No names required and Silly Aliases are AOK! Need ideas? See Day 54’s Resource of the Day for my page of ToonaCat Jokes

Catch up with Laurie

My Spreaker page. Please follow me there if you are on Spreaker.

My Instagram page at LaurieDreamWeaver

FaceBook Page if you want to sign up for our email list by clicking Tiger the Cat’s Sign-up button

Laurie on Tumblr

My page with instructions for all of the ways (so far) that you can send audio and lend your voice to this podcast.

New free way to leave voicemail http://speakpipe.com/laurieweaver You can also click the blue button on this page that says ‘send a voice message.’

Bravery Hotline

Leave your comments, questions, feelings and stories on Laurie’s podcast voicemail hotline – 206-350-6445.


Host: Laurie Weaver

Main Theme:I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1

I’m Letting Go (Josh Woodward) / CC BY 3.0

Resource of the day

Quantified Self
the Wikipedia article link first given us by Stéfanie on Day 60. Interesting history.
Comments box:

16 thoughts on “Ep 0063 – My Dream Self vs. My Current Self and about Intuitive Exercise

  1. Cheryl

    Just gotta say that’s a terrific picture, girlfriend! You’re practically glowing there. Your new routines are beginning to change your “aura” (if I can call it that). And I want to thank you for one of your comments from today. I wrote it down and will stick it up on the fridge. You said, “What can I do in this moment to make my life better?” What an awesome question to have in the back of my mind all day. I felt like it was very empowering. Great podcast today!

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Thanks GF for that cool compliment. I like this snapshot too. It is really quite a bit of time and chance how my selfie of the day comes out. Both the light I get at the time and how tired I am I think. This day I was feeling really good and really hydrated, so I think this was one of my better photos. But you know, it also might be the energy I’ve been feeling from eating enough regularly. I do feel MUCH better in my body, even though it isn’t one bit slimmer 🙂 I’m glad you like the thought about making our lives better in the moment. It’s one I’ve used a lot (harks back to my abacus image). It also works in relationships. Sometimes when my RAGE at my poor hubby is about to break out, I try to think, “What can I do or say to make this better right now?” Sometimes it’s leave the room and give space, sometimes it’s taking responsibility for my part, sometimes it’s a simple I love you. But trying to do well in a moment is easier for me than trying to do well forever 🙂

  2. Dawny

    Yay.. thanks for the SUPER shout out… I really do think and feel your amazing laurie… Im grateful for you!! Im sad tho, because now im all caught up and current on the podcasts… lol.. no more binge listening.. =-)

    I recently 2 weeks ago gave up my fitness gadgets.. both the fit-bit and the weight watchers active link. The numbers were driving me NUTS literally!! everything was about numbers, and I want to partake in intuitive exercise. about a month and a half ago, I had this amazing day on my fit bit and i hit like 33000 steps, well after that day NOTHING seemed good enough, no matter how many steps I had a day, even the day I got 22000 it was never ‘enough’ for Dawny, because I’d set a new ‘standard’ for myself, and I just couldn’t handle feeling inadequate all the time, it was deflating.. so… for me… for now… (what can I do RIGHT NOW to improve/help my life today right now? right?) Gadget free is the way to be!!!! and I feel so much better.. It feels good working out because I want to, to the intensity I WANT to or FEEL like I should/need to NOT because of some numbers an inaccurate gadget (hitting a good railroad track in the car can give you 15-20 steps, or what about dropping the fit-bit when trying to put it on = 24 steps.. ha ha) is feeding to me.. or shal I say.. cramming down my gullet? ha ha.. I love your lingo..

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hi Dawny, I think it’s great you are trying “gadget free”. I’m wondering if most of us compulsive types are so externally motivated that it added to our disconnect with our own feelings as well as our bodies? I won’t lie, I still wish I could magically become as thin as I was at my WW goal, but I also remember how tough it was for me and the amount of exercise and the low, low, calorie amount I had to pursue for my body to maintain there. The scale, my pedometer, my bike computer, the tape measure, every number under the sun told me how to feel about myself. I did enjoy my thinner body. I liked being able to shop and to sit in chairs (still my big fear) and the positive attention my miraculous transformation generated. But it also pissed me off that people treated me differently as a thin person vs. the “real me”. This gave me a clue that my self-image was as a bigger person. So I’ve been working to de-couple my self-image from size and numbers. A Round about way to say that I’m trying to feel like me from the “inside out” rather than what I discover on the outside. I’m a little scared for you since you have had such a good success with WW, and I know how fast our bodies may want to put weight back on. But I trust you to discover your own path and to do what makes you happy. I’m so glad I’ve had the opportunity to meet you and to experience your take on all of this. xoxoxo

    2. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Ah, I’m sorry you are sad. Another new listener who found me like you did via Alen’s show, just now wrote me that SHE is listening to all from day 1 as well and is currently on day 19 or day 20. I’m happy though because YOU dear Dawny, are commenting and calling and generally having fun here with us. 🙂 Also new shows will come. I usually do at least 2 x per week, and sometimes 4-5x per week when I’m not bike training. The downside is the episodes are longer when there are less of them, so I guess I talk JUST as much.

  3. Dawny

    I have a lot of thinking about the scale myself.
    when I first got to goal/maintenance- I tried the ‘daily’ weighing but my weight swings SOOOO wildly that it was really frustrating and deflating to me and i just couldn’t handle it. I tried it for almost a month.. I have to stick to weighing in 1x a week. with an occasional mid-week peek but I don’t even do that with any rhyme or reason or routine.

    I wish I had the patience to find out the ‘why’ like the example of that person who instantly found eating almonds = weight gain, or my gf she knows if she eats popcorn = weight gain, but the next day it goes away. but I don’t have the patience, or ability to try to figure that out.

    however, after hearing today’s & the last few on the scale etc.. episodes.. im starting to think about it again, and the benefits that can/could come from the feedback (yes it’s ONLY feed-back) of trying daily weighing..
    but for now.. i have enough obsessions I think..

    Im proud of you for even thinking about it Laurie, giving up the scale, and for REALIZING and ACKNOWLEDGING what it is to you, what it causes you, how you WANT to stop it and WHY.. that’s HUGE for just doing that..

  4. Dawny

    I almost started out saying Im sorry I have a lot to say.. but retracted that sentence.. I remember an episode previously that you discussed that very thing, Im NOT sorry LOL.. I just do have a LOT to say =-) I like you LOVE to talk, and well, typing is the next best thing, and if ANYONE is listening (or even if I can think they are) it makes it all the more purposeful..

    Im really working on a more intuitive eating approach.. where im counting, weighing, measuring, tracking my food, and of course focussing on power foods, but im not doing the ‘math’ as in a running tally of how many ppv im using daily, or day to day.. So far, 2 weeks in a row ive had GREAT success with this. I find that the dpt balance, or ‘overage’ can tend to ‘drive’ my bus in ways I don’t appreciate LOL, either ‘free for all’ you have a lot of wppa left, or ‘freak out’ look at how much you ate.
    I really enjoy eating based on WHAT I want NOT based on a ppv.. I KNOW what/how much to eat etc. I mean ive been doing this for many years, but this approach has really freed me a bit.
    I really liked sft, but I think it was a little too much freedom for me and i was eating too much food because it was ‘free’ where as now, im still weigh/measure and being accountable to portions.. I think that was the missing piece..

    as well working on are you hungry, when have you had enough to not be hungry anymore etc.. and paying attention to for one, when the food isn’t tasting really great anymore, and the ‘feeling’ within your stomach that says hey.. you lady, ive gotten enough LOL

    I over-ate the other day.. I didn’t feel guitly about WHAT I ate, or how much really or even of anything specific related to the food, but I was feeling AWFUL because of how uncomfortably full I was.. and after I ended up having a binge type scene, and it was like what? It’s like my body was confused and because i was so full and uncomfortable i needed to eat more food? or I dont know.. it is/was weird.. needless to say, yesterday I paid close attention to how much ‘lighter’ and peppier I feel not being TOO full, but being satiated.
    When I eat, even ‘just past’ that point of ‘satiation’ (which is often a fine line since it comes later usually) I get tired… and ‘sluggish’.. when I eat ‘just enough’ I feel fine, and content..

    my goal.. aiming for fine & content..

    1. Dawny

      Thank you Laurie…. Fear not =~} I too know how fast our bodies can n want n will regain. That 20# came sooooo fast. However I’ve maintained within about a 4# flux for 4.5 months now =~} with little to no struggle for say. Mostly just living. Trying to find a balance with life. Living. Eating out. Splurging some. And living more ‘less diety’ and in CONSTANT fear =~} so that’s a plus for me that I feel confident about. Again thank you sincerely for ‘being you’

        1. Dawny

          I heard it today.. I love love love it.. thanks for the shout outs.. adds pep to my step when Im wog-a-bouting…

  5. Dawny

    I needed a ‘place’ to be and connect, and share, to people who can/will/do understand, and aren’t judgemental.. or jealous.. haters.. that dont get it.. =-) I love this podcast, your web-site, and just connecting with you, as I said before, after binge listening I really feel like I know you =-)
    ive been racking my brain on something to use/do to get in on the ‘fun’ thing.. I don’t remember what you specifically called it, I just know the ‘fun’ part, and that it’s the side that has NOTHING to do with compulsive over-eating lol..

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hi Dawny, the feature is called Foolish Fun and it is Any silly audio. You can call the bravery hotline and tell a joke, tell a story, whistle, sing. Find a good joke on the internet and read it, find a new word in the dictionary and tell us what it means. anything to be other than a compulsive eater in that moment. It’s like me going to meet the voice actors. Make sense?


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