Ep 0066 – Do you know what you want? Recover from insecurity

Laurie holds her hat brim up away from her face.
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I flip my brim to get a enough light for a shot of my face in the shade. It’s blazing hot and I’m recording from about 1-4 in the afternoon. Yikes!

Podcast Recap

Insecurity seems to be another excuse to give yourself permission to fail. I ponder this and ways to gain clarity on what we actually want for ourselves. Thanks to the 5 dollar senders, aka my new Coffee Klatch and to the Amazon shoppers for supporting the show. Welcome to new Sparkpeople team members. Thanks also to Melb4564 whose 5-star iTunes review causes me to ponder on the nature of cross-addiction and overspending when dieting. New brave companion Cathi from Connecticut is on the bravery report twice! Once for her comment and once for her brave call to the bravery hotline. I tell the harrowing story of my latest bike incident. Welcome Maggie who kindly posted on day 4. Learn the details of my next possible adventure and how the brave companions helped me to prepare for it. Also, due to Kendra’s great advice, I create and share my own personal mission statement and reveal my biggest life dream. Cheryl supports our listener from Rhode Island and then we have a great comment conversation about money and self-worth. Dawny bravely shares her less than happy feelings on the bravery hotline and new listener, Brave Companion Isabel helps me discover what’s really under my feeling fat.

Rocks under a tree and sunburnt grass beyond

See my podcasting rocks? I’m sitting on one under the shady tree, but it’s STILL hot as blazes as you can tell from the view outside of the shadow.


Laurie's Misson Statement on paper

My Mission Statement in black and white – notice how BIG I make my font so I can read my mission statement without my glasses.

Mentioned

New listener and brave companion Cathi’s first comment

My bike accident blog post

New listener and brave companion Maggie’s kind comment on Day 4

The Facebook post and comments where I ask for help prepping for my meeting

The Facebook post and comments about the RESULTS of my meeting

My Mission statement on the About page

Cheryl’s comment conversation on day 64

Day 64 – please support our private listener from RI

Day 65 – please support Amy and Dawny

Isabel from Canada’s first comment conversation that teaches me about bravery

Brave Companion Isabel’s next comment that helps me learn just why I feel fat

Want to have Fun Being Foolish too?

Participate in our new feature called “Foolish Fun“. Just call the bravery hotline 206-350-6445 or check out the send audio page on https://www.compulsiveovereatingdiary.com/how-to-send-audio/
And tell us a joke, riddle, a silly story, limerick, sing a song, play a kazoo, ANYTHING but talk about compulsive eating. This is the feature where messing up is just part of the act! No names required and Silly Aliases are AOK! Need ideas? See Day 54’s Resource of the Day for my page of ToonaCat Jokes

Catch up with Laurie

My Spreaker page. Please follow me there if you are on Spreaker.

My Instagram page at LaurieDreamWeaver

FaceBook Page if you want to sign up for our email list by clicking Tiger the Cat’s Sign-up button

The Spark People Team we created for listeners of Compulsive Overeating Diary. Welcome new team member, TRILEMMA. So far, we’re up to fourteen team members, and we would welcome some more! 10/22/14- no longer an active team due to lack of participation

Laurie on Tumblr

My page with instructions for all of the ways (so far) that you can send audio and lend your voice to this podcast.

New free way to leave voicemail http://speakpipe.com/laurieweaver You can also click the blue button on this page that says ‘send a voice message.’

Bravery Hotline

Leave your comments, questions, feelings and stories on Laurie’s podcast voicemail hotline – 206-350-6445.

Credits

Host: Laurie Weaver

Main Theme:I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1

I’m Letting Go (Josh Woodward) / CC BY 3.0

Resource of the day


Meetup
is a free service where you can find local groups that have similar interests to yours. That’s how I found the voice actor’s social group and the writing group I went to last night. It’s fun! You can even start up a group if you don’t see one that meets your needs. Though to own a group involves a small fee – if you haven’t searched through Meetup before, spend a few minutes. It’s cool to see the diversity of groups out there.
Comments box:

11 thoughts on “Ep 0066 – Do you know what you want? Recover from insecurity

  1. Dawny

    Thank you soooo much for caring laurie.. I just caught the pod-cast today.. it’s of course as always AWESOME.. your awesome.. I LOVE LOVE LOVE your mission statement!! I too did this some-time ago, and re-reading over and over is of great help and benefit.. this is one of the ‘take-away’s’ that I VALUE greatly from the beck diet solution book, not quite like you’ve named it a ‘mission statement’ but very similar..

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Thanks Dawny, I’m glad you enjoyed. I think it was very helpful for me to put it all down in black and white. It really lets me gage my thoughts and worries AND my goals from a more external place. The only difference is that the external guide CAME from me 🙂

      Reply
  2. Helen

    Hi Laurie, I have also skipped ahead to your latest podcast to listen to and it was also like you was talking about me, where you talk about Insecurity and it seeming to be another excuse to give yourself permission to fail.
    I am a very insecure and lack of confidence person and I feel I need to be constantly reassured that I’m doing something right, or I just let the fear take control by talking myself out of a job or task, telling myself I can’t do it. The little voice is there in my head telling me I can’t do something, don’t even try because you will fail.
    Big well done on your personal mission statement and I’m sure it will be of great value and support to yourself.
    Also your life dream sounds amazing, I would so love to have somewhere to actually go to in the UK (not sure if I have ever said that’s where I’m from) and have people there who feel the same way as I do, that we could help support and comfort each over in real life.
    A big hello to all the new brave companions that have joined since I last posted, I’m here and listening, but am a bit of a backseat person at the moment.
    Take care everyone x

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Well done Helen! Boy, I hope my big dreams come true and I can come visit the UK too – I’d love to meet you and Sue and Shirl and the other brave companions from the UK who may not yet be brave enough to come post as you have done. If not, I have hope that someday, there will be groups that are for support and encouragement around these food issues in every area. I think just being heard and feeling safe about sharing are BIG helps in dealing. Not only with food, but with life. Therapy for sure helps me in this way, but there is something magical in being part of a group. Different points of view. Different people who show support in different ways. BTW, you comments here, and on FB, really helped me when I was feeling low. (Insomnia ALWAYS is tough for me). I’ve had a rest, and was just heading off to make the guest room bed, when I saw that you had written here. What a lift to my heart! See, dear Helen, you make a difference!
      xoxoxox

      Reply
      1. Helen

        Thank you so much for your reply, it’s so nice that we can all be there for each over and to know that none of us are alone.
        I do hope you manage to get a good night sleep later it is horrible when you can’t sleep.
        I seem to have it the other way round at the moment where I feel I need match sticks to keep my eyes open, and as soon as my head hits the pillows, I’m out like a light which does not go down well with my husband especially when it’s every night lol (see to much sleep can be just as damaging) thanks again Laurie and take care x

        Reply
  3. Cheryl

    I normally make notes when I listen to the podcast, but I was busy boiling water to do dishes today as we’ve had to deal with an e-coli issue with our city water the last three days! His lordship is down draining our hot water heater now and hopefully before the evening is over things will be back on track here with our city (at least that’s what they’re telling us…).

    So I can’t remember what you said, Laurie, at the first that brought up the many times people have said to me, “Well just quite eating so much!” I could feel the hackles rise on the back of my neck whatever it was. I wish I had one good retort I could sling back at folks like that because it’s just like Dawny said (I think it was Dawny, pardon if I’m wrong), you can get away from alcohol and even from cigarettes, but you can ‘t quit eating. People can be so insensitive with remarks like that. Grrrr….. Someday I’ll come up with the perfect response to that comment.

    The other thing I wanted to mention was Dawny’s comment about sugar being addictive. Amen, sista! Laurie will tell you that I have had an ongoing battle with our fellowship time after church for years. I can walk in there determined as can be to have just one cookie but will walk away with a plateful of sweets. It’s as if I don’t even know I’m doing it. I sit down at the table and think, “Oh crap! I did it again.” You can’t put them back once you’ve touched them, right? And wouldn’t the ones who brought them be upset if they saw you throw them in the garbage? So I feel quite justified in finishing off the whole plate. It would be nice if people would bring fresh veggies, dip, and fruit, but the awful truth is, healthy snacks are expensive; sugar/fat-laden snacks are cheap. It’s the sugar that gets me every time. If I can stay away from it for a good ten days, I stop craving it. But one cotton pickin’ cookie and the battle begins all over again. So know you’re not in a boat by yourself, Dawny. Sugar truly is addictive.

    And Laur, I know you’re feeling a bit nervous about beginning this support group, afraid it won’t work out, that you’ll talk too much, etc., but those are the very same concerns you had just before you started COD. And look what’s blossomed out of your podcast! You can walk in there with all the confidence in the world because you’ve already proven how great you are at connecting with people about this very important subject. So go get ’em, girl!!!

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Oh Cheryl, as I posted to our Sparkpeople group, I am SO sorry to hear about your water troubles. What a pain! I am nervous about the support group for sure, and am still waiting for the actual paperwork green light. So part of me is nervous it will go forward, and part is nervous that it won’t. If it does move forward, I will try my best to remember your words and hold my head up high. The worst that can happen is we discover that this isn’t the format for this audience, and it isn’t a reflection on me, per se. This is true of almost any creative endeavor. Btw, I sent your question about starting and not finishing creative projects to Alen, and he loved it, and we will be recording a new interview for his show in a couple of weeks. We had to delay because of my latest bike adventures. Hugs and Thanks again for your comments and support.

      Reply
  4. Diane

    Hi Dawny! I can sooooooo relate to the “sugar is crack” thing! I am trying not to LIMIT, but not ELIMINATE my added sugar too! Sometimes one bite can lead to a 5000 calorie binge! Ugh! Anyway, just wanted you to know that I understand!,

    XO ♥

    Reply
  5. Jo

    Hi Laurie and brave companions, still cruising through and oh my it is like you have mapped out my life in front of me (being over a decade younger 😏
    I also quit smoking and my compulsion was then full on food, then I restricted the food to lose the weight, then over shopped big time, books, clothes and anything. Then restricted the shopping and the food and over exercised …. I just want to be able to do normal things in normal moderation. So hoping that at some point this comes natural to me …. sending love into the future Take care because you are my special walking companion I care about xxx

    Reply
  6. Danielle

    Hi Laurie, i’m a longtime listener and whilst I know you’re up to Episode 165 i’m plodding along just about 100 episodes behind at Episode 66. Very recently you mentioned Coffee for Laurie and I was so so happy! You see you have kept me company so many times on drives or walks and have given me a “lift” but i’ve never found it in me to comment or connect. The perfectionist in me wanted to be up to date with the your full story and be “current” before immersing myself fully in your podcast. However I may never be and I realise i’m thrilled to be able to buy you a cup of coffee as I realise it will give back a tiny iota of the strength, inspiration and positivity that I take from you so often. Like you (I think) I often want there to be a tit for tat, something neat and tidy, “she did this for me so now i’m going to do that for her”. It was in a different recent episode where you said that you were thinking of making an email list to somehow thank the people who bought you the $5 that I became alarmed at your way of thinking, and in turn my own way of thinking. Laurie, I genuinely want to buy you a cup of coffee (in lieu of a Margherita!) to simply say Thank You. No expectations, nothing in return. Period. I’m reminded of when my grandma taught me to accept a compliment gracefully… if someone tells you they love your new dress you don’t talk about how it’s a bigger size or was so expensive, or how it’s not your colour – you simply say thank you. So Laurie I’m telling you this, with love, a coffee is coming your way from Brisbane, Australia, as a thank you for the last 65 episodes. I truly do not want a recipe or a discount voucher or any truly wonderful thing you could think up. I just want you to accept it because I care, just as you do. (And to be fair when would it ever end?!! If you gave me a recipe and I loved it then i’d want to thank you and we’d be back to square one – an endless Monty Python skit of thanking!!).

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hi Danielle! At risk of turning this into a Spam-fest of epic proportions, thank you sooo much! For the virtual coffee most certainly, but even more for the thoughtful comments you shared that gave me a good jolt of ideas to ponder. It IS hard for me to believe compliments as well, though I have gotten better over the run of this show, and I, like you, sometimes feel a need to balance out the ledgers. I think the very hardest thing in the world is to accept help, gifts, love, positive support right down to the soul, without feeling the need to work very hard at being worthy. That is the crux of self-esteem issues for me, the feeling that I’m somehow flawed and not enough as is. The idea you ALL need virtual “fries with that” in order to value what I do. In reality, I’ve discovered that when I am most like me, without “proving it” I connect the best and help others the most. It is still difficult, but something I meditate on daily and explore. I had not seen the virtual coffee as part of that practice, but now I truly do. Thanks again for reaching out, and welcome to the wild and wooly world of the BCs. You are for sure on the bravery report and I think your comments will provide other brave companions food for thought as well. xoxoxox

      Reply

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