Ep 0086 – Bonus – Chatting with Alen Standish

Alen Standish at his podcast mic
Scroll to the "Comments box" or call 206-350-6445 to tell us what you think.
On podcast pages click the arrow to play the episode.
Alen Standish of Progress, Not Perfection, is a great sport and sends me this selfie to go along with my theme of selfies for episode photos.

Podcast Recap

Alen chats with me about his own binge eating story, how he started his podcast, Quit Binge Eating, and the very personal reasons behind why he changed its title and focus to Progress, Not Perfection. Thanks to Brave Companions Amy in Australia and Patt for their 5-star iTunes reviews. I’ll be guest blogging for Dr. Nina Savelle-Rocklin’s Make Peace with Food.

Laurie by the mic

My companion selfie, taken during our interview

Laurie holding a water bottle at the park

Because I AM compulsive, I MUST take a selfie today while recording the opening for day 86 at the park.


Alen’s show and blog, Progress, Not Perfection

My first interview with Alen on Progress, Not Perfection on episode 42

My second interview with Alen on Progress, Not Perfection on episode 49

The episode where I Skype with Dawny

The Halloween Episode

My Blue Mood Pissy Blog post

My guest blog post about giving up the scale on Dr. Nina’s blog, Make Peace with Food

Dr. Nina Savelle Rocklin’s blog, Make Peace with Food

Dr. Nina’s podcast and website, Win the Diet War

BC Rachel’s post mentioning Dr.Nina on our Who Are the Brave Companions page

Get your very own Certificate of Completion for listening to all of the episodes!

See a photo of my Pig flute from our interview on Instagram

See a video of me playing the Pig on Instagram!

One of the life changing books by Brené Brown Alen recommends on Amazon – please use the links below

In The Gifts of Imperfection, by Brené Brown

In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown, a leading expert on shame, authenticity, and belonging, shares ten guideposts on the power of Wholehearted living—a way of engaging with the world from a place of worthiness.

Intuitive Eating Book on Amazon – please use the links below

Intuitive Eating

Ways to support the show financially

Want to have Fun Being Foolish too?

Participate in our new feature called “Foolish Fun“. Just call the bravery hotline 206-350-6445 or check out the send audio page on http://www.compulsiveovereatingdiary.com/how-to-send-audio/
And tell us a joke, riddle, a silly story, limerick, sing a song, play a kazoo, ANYTHING but talk about compulsive eating. This is the feature where messing up is just part of the act! No names required and Silly Aliases are AOK! Need ideas? See Day 54’s Resource of the Day for my page of ToonaCat Jokes

Catch up with Laurie

My Spreaker page. Please follow me there if you are on Spreaker.

My Instagram page at LaurieDreamWeaver

FaceBook Page if you want to sign up for our email list by clicking Tiger the Cat’s Sign-up button

Laurie on Tumblr

My page with instructions for all of the ways (so far) that you can send audio and lend your voice to this podcast.

New free way to leave voicemail http://speakpipe.com/laurieweaver You can also click the blue button on this page that says ‘send a voice message.’

Bravery Hotline

Leave your comments, questions, feelings and stories on Laurie’s podcast voicemail hotline – 206-350-6445.


Host: Laurie Weaver
Special Guest: Alen Standish of Progress, Not Perfection
Main Theme:I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1

I’m Letting Go (Josh Woodward) / CC BY 3.0

Resource of the day

Top 50 Mindful Eating Sites of 2014.
By Dr. Albers. A cool list of resources. Check them out and let me know your favorites!
Comments box:

16 thoughts on “Ep 0086 – Bonus – Chatting with Alen Standish

  1. Dawny

    LOVE this episode Laurie… was sad that things didn’t work out with your recording tho, but as you said, the future holds more interviews with Allen.. Yay

    I have to say something, regarding a previous discussion, where the topic was your feeling inadequate, and worrying about BC’s leaving, and if it’s that your not providing ‘enough’ to keep people etc, and I got the fear you were anticipating leaving this podcast behind, you said something in this interview, that’s VERY important, and validates this show, and you need NO other validation… You said “i like doing this because for the first time in my life NOBODY is telling me to be quiet, and I can talk and talk, the good the bad the…”
    THAT is where it is Laurie, that is the WHY the show must go on!!!!

    I can relate to what you were saying about how ‘busy’ you are, and how you never realized how much of your life was consumed by the ‘obsessions, of food/diet/weight/when/where/how/what’… I was just realizing this last week, as in one minute im so busy with extra-curricular activities I don’t have time to breathe a sigh of ‘aaaah’ and then other times Im without anything to do and I wondered what was going on and it DAWNed (ha ha) on me.. I spent so much time lost in diet hell prison, that it totally consumed my life..
    YAY us for FREEEDOM eh??

    I was wogging when I listened to this show, and i literally spit my coffee, as you described your flusteration with the ‘alien’ eating etc. and your husband told you the house looked nice.. and he hugged me.. and a couple other nice things happened…………..” you are the CUTEST ever.. and make me giggle!

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hi Dawny, I’m glad you enjoyed this one, even though I had the snafus. :::sigh::: it was almost a cool thing though, since that is Alen’s thing 😉

      I have to say something, regarding a previous discussion, where the topic was your feeling inadequate, and worrying about BC’s leaving, and if it’s that your not providing ‘enough’ to keep people etc, and I got the fear you were anticipating leaving this podcast behind, you said something in this interview, that’s VERY important, and validates this show, and you need NO other validation… You said “i like doing this because for the first time in my life NOBODY is telling me to be quiet, and I can talk and talk, the good the bad the…”
      THAT is where it is Laurie, that is the WHY the show must go on!!!!

      Wow, I feel I did stir up a hornets’ nest with my comment. I was and am sad about the BCs who have moved on etc. But, I really have no plans to stop the show in the near future. Your comment is very insightful. The only thing I will say, is that for me, the talking is part of it, but the being ACCEPTED despite, or even because of, the talking is the big healing factor for me. So many times I was told to be quiet, talk less, be less intrusive, I began to feel that my own nature was wrong and bad. I’m very talkative, always have been, and outgoing and curious. I don’t think recording my thoughts for only me would have the same impact. Also, without the input of all of you, I wouldn’t have as much to discuss. So that is the twin reason, besides my feeling pathetic from time to time, where a major decline in BC participation would impact my desire to keep the show going. Daily Adventure Tales had a decent audience of listeners. Mark and I had fun and I talked in that one too. Maybe not quite so personally, but I did get to talk a lot! I discovered that the interaction is the motivator for me. The building of connection. And I can’t build that completely one-way. So I hope that BCs will come and stay or listening BCs will become brave enough to post or call. It truly is an honor and an amazing day every time they do. Thanks my friend for being there for me, and for the other BCs so often. I really appreciate it very much.

  2. Suz (Suzanne)

    Heeeheeeheee!!! I just had to say as I’m listening that I am giggling about the piggy whistle! It must be an ocarina. “There’s not a lot of songs you can play on the pig” omg! HAHAHAHA!
    Okay, back to listening.

  3. Cheryl

    This was a very timely podcast for me because I just crashed as well. I’ve had my nose stuck in my manuscript for three months almost to the exclusion of doing anything else. Most importantly, I hadn’t been journaling, which is what I do to keep sane. So I’ve been editing, changing a couple plots around, etc. in the hope of getting it ready to be professionally edited by the end of November. I was participating in a project called NOT NaNoWriMo, which I did last year. I wrote my entire story that month.

    But yesterday when I rewrote the same sentence a dozen different ways and didn’t like any of them, I knew I was done for now. I’d been trying to find 2 uninterrupted hours a day to devote to this rewrite and it ended up being from 10:30 at night to 12:00 in the morning, or two hours after his lordship left for work. And all I was doing was falling asleep at the keyboard. I was totally out of gas.

    So last night I emailed the folks I was doing the project with (after only five days) and said I was out for this year. I’ve put my printed manuscript up where I can’t see it and be drawn to it, and I’m not getting it back out till after Christmas. It’s not that I didn’t know what to do with it, I did. It just ended up being a lot more work than I am mentally and physically able to put in to it right now.

    This morning with quiet music going, a candle burning, and a pot of mint tea, I was back at my desk journaling for the first time in weeks, and sludge just came pouring out. I was so backed up emotionally. That journal is really medicinal for me. And it’s back to sending out cards and notes, which I hadn’t even thought about.

    Am I feeling guilty about giving up on the project? Maybe a little. But JUST a little. I know I can pick it up in January and go right back to where I left off. It was hard sending that email, but it was a decision I had to make for myself and I’m really glad I did. I think maybe listening to the podcasts over the months has really helped me know I have the RIGHT to make good decisions for myself. Glad you were able to do the same.

    Loved your interview with Alan. His podcasts are great, too. His story was very inspiring. He’s a very engaging personality. Hope to hear more from the two of you soon. And hope YOU are feeling like you have more breathing room!

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      OH goodness I am SO proud of you! I know how hard that decision must have been for you, and it shows such courage that you sent that email at this time. I bet you will feel renewed energy from freeing yourself right now. Sometimes, even projects you enjoy, are just one too many items on the plate. That’s one reason, I was glad in the end to let go of the live class. One too many things. Alen listened and said right away he loved the interview too, and is eager to repeat the process. He has so much more experience than me at interviewing over Skype, he also sent me some good ideas to see if we can figure out the technical troubles with my system. He is such a peach. I was so tired yesterday, as it was packed so full, that I ALMOST weaseled out of my writing group. But I went and wrote a beautiful and sad story about an alien (we were using story dice, that has symbols and you need to write about what you roll) that fell to Earth eons ago after disobeying his father and his memories of home. It was fun and I loved visiting his world. Sometimes forcing yourself to write can be a chore and it is fun to rediscover the joy it can be. Hugs and double hugs for all of the support you give to me and the BCs around here. Fingers crossed for your edits, and I’m glad to hear you’ve returned to the solace of your journal. xoxoxoxo

  4. Stéfanie

    Indeed this decision must have been hard but somewhat relieving too! You’re right, it WILL still be there in January. Good for you for restarting your journal. I too have been devoting more of my free hours to myself, as it keeps me sane too. We need to be mindful to our feelings. It doesn’t mean these feelings are better, but we need the calm and focus to deal with them. I’ve noticed that this key element, calmness, helps me deal with things easier. I guess in some way, maybe this relates to your writing in your journal.

    Two days ago, I went for breakfast with my best friend and she finally told me what she had been going through for the last 2 months. Man, it was big stuff. I knew something was wrong with her and asked many times. She aknowledged something was wrong but just didn’t feel like talking about it. I accepted that and tryed to play another friendly role, the one that helped her keep her mind off of it. When she finally spit it out, the case was solved and over with. I was very happy for her but couldn’t help wonder why she insisted on carrying all of that weight alone. This is something she does often, and I accept it is part of her and is her mechanism to deal with hard stuff.

    Her story came back to my mind when I heard ep 86. You had an alien visit and you told us when all of it was done, digested and analyzed. I remember that day where you binged. We were fooling around on IG. it was fun! Never in a moment did I doubt you were having a hard time.

    I do that sometimes too. I just shut down and carry the weight alone and wait ’til the feeling is gone before I share. Why do we do that, I wonder. Maybe it’s shame and we just don’t like to project a negative image? Maybe it’s too tangled to be discussed? Maybe we just want to hide in our shell? Maybe we are just too moody to be in the ‘significant’ presence of other?

    Food for thought. I think, in my case, it all comes back to what that picture of you, looking in the mirror, triggered in me. Since, I’ve been pondering a lot about truthfullness and authenticity. And, although truthfullness is important towards others, the one truth that makes me ponder the most lately, is truth to myself.

    OK well… I re-read myself and I’m not too sure where I’m going with this and it seems I’m all over the place… Don’t worry if you don’t get it… it’s me being me, with all of my scattered thoughts 🙂

    (PS, I’ll see you on IG, I’ve got some marking to do and will be rewarding myself there – haha)

    Stéfanie xx

    1. Cheryl

      Yep, it keeps me calm. The quiet music, candle, and tea are all part of the equation, too. And if I find I’m having trouble unwinding, I just get comfortable, close my eyes, and meditate on the soft music for 15 or 20 minutes. I can’t help feeling I wouldn’t be struggling so much if our son didn’t live here. I really feel I need that experience of having the house to myself and the whole empty nest thing. I get very despairing sometimes that it will ever happen. Then I write A LOT!

      But January will be a good time to jump start the project again. Brand new start and all that!

      What do you do to chill?

  5. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

    Yes, mon amie, that day began fun and relaxing on IG. At that time, the robot aliens had not yet come to call. Because I was procrastinating, I felt Sue from the UK was right, that I just was putting pressure on myself to do the editing job that day, even though I had NO real deadline to do it. My only deadline was the convenience compared to the rest of my week and the fact that I like to post a show at least every week. For some reason, I wasn’t into editing that day. I STILL think Sue was right, but I somehow got my wires in a twist then later on. I felt so worthless and bad for NOT doing this editing. Especially as I’m retired and have the luxury of pretty much controlling my own timing for most things. It just hit some inner trigger. So the binge behavior was after our fool around time, though to be honest, I would not have posted “Hey I’m bingeing” to IG 😉 In fact, it had been so LONG since I’ve binged, I didn’t even admit to myself for quite awhile during it, that bingeing was going on. It was a big victory that I was able to turn my shame around so fast and come clean for you BCs.

    I get where your friend is coming from too. I too hold on and process before I share. Surprising, since I talk so often, but I am a master at conversational misdirection. It’s just a way to deal with pain, I guess. Some of us “rip the bandaid” off the wound, others let the adhesive wear away until the bandaid falls off.

    I hope your hip is feeling better and that your physio is helping. Physical challenges can be so wearing on the mind too.


    1. Sue

      Oh Laurie, I hadn’t realised that something I said might have led to such a difficult day for you. 🙁 it is so hard to give ourselves “permission” not to do something and have fun instead. Why do we feel so guilty for pacing ourselves? I’ve had so many issues with poor health over recent months that I have had to take one day at a time, or even an hour at a time. Getting the balance right between doing things that need to be done and doing things that help me regain energy is difficult. However, I have been challenged to find things that me have a spike of enjoyment/pleasure.

      1. Cheryl

        Sue, I SO get that. Everything gets to me and then I can’t think of a thing to do to raise my spirits. My diabetes doc says I’m depressed. Though I want to yell at her and tell her I’m just poor and don’t have any money to go do anything. A bit of money would open up SO many possibilities!

        1. Sue

          Cheryl, hugs – I’ve been there often. When we had a few days away in the caravan I found this lovely shop where they sold some perfumed wax shapes to put in the top of a burner with a tea light. They didn’t cost much but I am enjoying the fragrance. I am going to arrange a board games evening as I love doing that, but don’t do it often now my children are elsewhere. However, I was really blessed that my husband learnt how to play one game because he knows I enjoy it, even though he usually finds them tedious.

          PS I wish I could edit comments to insert the missing words/typos. Typical perfectionism 😉

          1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

            Sue, just FYI, the reason you cannot edit after you post is because that’s how wordpress, the software I use, behaves if I don’t make everyone register for this site in order to post. I can understand how frustrating that is. But if you are driven crazy, just create a second post and I will see that and delete the first one. Hugs, Laurie

            PS, on other sites that are this way, I often write my posts first in a word processing program to spell check and edit and then paste the comment in – but then again, I am FIRST to admit to perfectionism.

            PSS, I wish Mark would play even one game with me. That’s something he finds so tedious that so, far, it’s a non-starter.

      2. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

        Oh Sue, PLEASE don’t think for one minute that this is true:

        Oh Laurie, I hadn’t realized that something I said might have led to such a difficult day for you.

        My negative feelings were ALREADY swirling around under my conscious thoughts. That’s why I was procrastinating – but I just didn’t have awareness of my issues. Your statement actually was caring and on point. But I understand why you are feeling bad, because *I* would be too. Here’s the thing, your kind statement in no way triggered MY binge behavior. What people say, good or bad, (and yours was good) are those people’s thoughts and issues. Why *I* do what
        I do, or how I react is *my* issue. And I didn’t react to what you mentioned except to have more of a fun day and to release my inappropriate guilt of not doing what I didn’t even HAVE to do. My body had wanted another rest/refresh day and if my compulsive mind had been on vacation, all would have been well. For the record I didn’t start the eating behavior until many, many hours later. And it was MY MIND that did the deed. MY MIND that taunted me with guilt feelings due to other insecurities. And MY MiND that turned to food for comfort and to get away from the inner discomfort. YOUR statement was not my binge trigger at all. I was already whipping THAT up on my own. If anything, you may have well caused the binge to be less by making me stop and think what I really wanted to do that day. Hugs and Kisses, xoxoxoxoxoxox

        And I’m so sorry your health issues have been so severe these last months. That for sure can take a toll on one. It is tough to get through the responsibilities and to find joy in that situation. I’m probably a bit fussy myself because Mark hasn’t been up to par lately, and so I’ve felt more of the household duties fall on my side. I’m glad you are looking for moments of joy, Sue. You are certainly a ray of joy in my life. xoxoxoxox

  6. Stéfanie

    mostly glass art! Also working out, walking, and loooong, hot, non-environmentaly-friendly showers 🙂


What's your story?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *