I feel happy and peaceful in the moment. I’m looking at the patterns of the oak tree leaves in a glade at Descanso Gardens.
It’s OK to Change Your Mind
Normally when I sit down at the computer to communicate with you I KNOW whether what I feel like writing about is a full blown story or blog topic or just some random updates and thoughts that go better into the less formal status update. Today I’m not sure, so we’ll just “Go With the Flow” and see what happens.
Exercise Can Be Painless – Even When It’s a Pain!
Lots of days I LOVE my exercise. I’m hiking or biking, wandering around listening to cool podcasts and music at the park or pondering new sights and chatting with neighbors as I meander around my neighborhood hills. Some days I do Yoga or videos (even though they are streaming now) and I have many fun ones I enjoy.
But yesterday, I had that niggling feeling, that I DON’T WANNA do no FRIGGIN’ EXERCISE. Which was weird, because I could feel in my body, that I did. I was a bit stiff and sore from our bike ride the day before, and I knew a gentle walk would do wonders to move some of the lactic acid out of the muscles AND improve my pissy mood. But I was all about the pissy mood. I don’t know why. Tantrum Laurie was calling the shots.
Me: Tantrum Laurie, what’s wrong? Why aren’t you happy today?
Tantrum Laurie: I’M SICK OF WALKING AROUND AND EXERCISE AND EVERYTHING.
Me: Hmm, that’s odd, because we really have gotten out of our exercise routine lately.
Tantrum Laurie: YES, AND THAT IS JUST HOW I ‘F-ING LIKE IT. QUIT BOSSING ME AROUND!
Me: You feel I’m bossing you around?
Tantrum Laurie: ALWAYS! ZEN F-ing THIS and ZEN F-ing THAT, I JUST WANT TO WATCH CARTOONS!
Me: Cartoons! We have been watching A LOT of cartoons for voice practice.
Tantrum Laurie: PRACTICE F-ING PRACTICE, I JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN!
Me: I think I feel where you are coming from. You just want an experience without having to be good, or add to your joy or increase skill or anything like that…am I close?
Tantrum Laurie: BINGO! Enough with the self improvement crapolla.
Me: How about we go to Descanso after therapy and just look around at the pretty flowers.
Tantrum Laurie: Sounds good – for once.
Me: Ok to take photos on a Flower Safari?
Tantrum Laurie: Do they have to be good photos?
Me: Nope. We just have to like them ourselves and have fun finding the flowers.
Tanturm Laurie: Ok, I’m cool with that.
Here’s one of the flowers I captured on my Flower Safari
Tantrum Laurie turned back into Zen Laurie after enjoying a leisurely lunch of Quiche and Chardonnay in the garden. Tantrum Laurie felt satisfied that the food was ‘just what she was hungry for’ and she didn’t have to prove a thing to anyone about it. No calories, no IG photos of lunch, no announcements, no formal ‘putting the fork down and counting 10’. Just a nice day, a quiet lunch, a small glass of wine. It felt great and we took the moment to enjoy it and merge together in agreement. Tantrum Laurie felt happy and heard. Me Laurie, felt less pissy crazy and ready to have a small adventure.
If you’d like to see all of the photos, go to LaurieDreamWeaver on Instagram and they all have the hashtag #FlowerSafari
Progress With My Goals
Here’s a gottcha! Just like one of those optical illusion images where you see an old woman or a young woman depending on how you look at it.
Here’s my photo:
On the surface you see a bunch of recording stuff in my guest room with the closet open. (It’s open by the way because the clothing helps deaden the sound). In fact, if you are eagle-eyed, you might see a few new things in my recording arsenal. I have my mic stand, a better pop-filter, a music stand light to better see the copy and some other knick knacks.
What you don’t see, is the level of discussion, communication and budgetary agreement it takes for a retired couple to create an actual recording space in a spare bedroom. Further, what you don’t see is the level of confidence, passion, life review and other moments of fear and Zen that goes into pursuing a dream FOR REAL. When all is said and done, I may not make it as a professional voice actor, but I have surely already made it as a person who knows what she actually wants, was able to communicate that and to honor and strengthen her relationship despite the challenges that arose as we wrestled through what we both want in life. I think that’s enough to put Mark and I both on the bravery report.
Yep, enough here to be a blog.
PS. I am leaving in an hour to go walk around the park and be interviewed by Alen Standish for the third time. He’s interested in my voice acting for this discussion and what I tell myself. So I guess, this was a bit of a status report in a blog in a life wrapped in a mystery and stuffed in a conundrum.
Have a great day BCs!