Taken from my solo hike last Sunday, you can see the rain is coming. I hurry in front of the storm. The clouds form dramatic vistas this day and suit my pensive mood.
Sometimes good intentions can go to the devil!
When I got back from my trip home to Washington State, I FULLY intended to unpack, do laundry, then strap on the recorder and head up the mountain to record a show. Instead, I felt exhausted, weepy, and we heard about the passing of Leonard Nimoy. Top that off with the fact that I got a blast from my unhappy past on FB (not that person’s fault), but it still rocked my world to face ANOTHER painful part of my history so soon after dealing with my emotions this last trip home.
I also had a TON of house chores to take care of (and as you know, my FAVORITE thing is cleaning – NOT) and even my beloved blog and show and BCs loomed as a huge chore instead of a joy.
What to do? I had asked all of you to comment and send audio and to keep on keeping on. And you HAD. I should reply. It had been over a week since the last show was released. I should record a new one. The SHOULDS started piling on fast and furious. Wanting to do right by you AND by me, I came upon a rather novel approach to my dilemma.
What would Laurie Do?
Now, in no way am I equating myself with the holy person that usually inhabits the above quote, but this weird thought popped into my head. If I were a listener and I asked “Laurie” of Compulsive Overeating Diary, what should I do, what would “Laurie” say?
OMG, I am now elevating compartmentalizing oneself into an art form! However, I got an answer from “Laurie” of Compulsive Overeating Diary.
You need to take time for yourself.
Wah? HOW CAN I TAKE TIME NOW YOU IDIOT???? Don’t you see ALL I have to do? Everything that is UNDONE? All that is ON MY FRIGGIN’ PLATE?
You can’t meet the needs of the many until you meet the needs of the one.
Great! Now you are throwing SPOCK references at me. Don’t I feel badly enough today?
Appropriate. Mr. Spock did what was needed when it was needed. It isn’t emotional, it’s rational. You need time and space to process. You cannot be there for others when you have an empty emotional battery.
Hmmm, “Laurie” of Compulsive Overeating Diary is obviously an unfeeling robot today.
Oh yeah, if I were so unfeeling you loon, I’d just go along with all of this “Should” nonsense and let you work yourself into a frazzle whilst I enjoyed obsessing over stats and counting likes on FB!
Sigh. When I’m right, I’m right.
Running before the storm
Appropriately enough another deluge was predicted later in the day. But I predicted I would have time to hurry up the mountain, spend some quality decompression time at the Upper Zen Spot and return, safe and sound, and undrenched before the storm hit.
And…I found several Zen-like moments to appreciate life and to find gratitude on the journey.
Blessings are there when you look for them
One gratitude I have on my list EVERY day, is that I have such a warm and wonderful band of BCs to hear me, to support me, to rant with me and to understand my silence as well as my endless ponderings. Thank you dear BC, for being on this strange and wonderful journey with me.
Live Long and Prosper