Tiger looking THRILLED to have his cat-mama dress him up in holiday splendor. Hmmm, is this the equivalent of the crying kid Santa Photo?
Holidays are CRAZY busy!
OMG, my calendar is filled, filled, filled to the brim with events, shows, classes, meetups, dinners, friends, and other items of personal growth and holiday cheer. (I’ll let you GUESS what has fallen OFF the calendar – no, not the show, I still update THAT about once a month – it’s MY MORTIFYING DUSTY HOUSE OF HORRORS!. I just can’t seem to get my rear in gear to get the dust out of our house. Between Mark being sick, ME being sick, Mark being sick, and my preparation for tomorrow’s comedy show and various voice auditions, I am whacked and bushed!
I don’t even have kids (outside of the cat babies, and frankly, THEY are pretty easy in the gift department – can of food, extra pets, a good brushing – they’re set) and I’m STILL frantic with finding empty spots in the calendar.
One way I can tell the frantic is on the rise, is the increasing gravitational pull of chips. Yes, BCs, I have been feeling ‘Chippy’ lately – and NOT because they are delicious! The drive to nosh on crunchy salty things is a big tell. LAURIE SLOW THE HECK DOWN!
So I slashed some events from the calendar, made room for my needed practice for tomorrow’s comedy show, eliminated some voice auditions, rescheduled some sessions and prioritized exactly which rooms in the Dusty House of Horrors would give me the most bang for the buck.
Let me tell you that extra gift of time was the best thing ever – to stop my frantic, perfectionistic insanity AND to ponder what our lives are really made of.
Time is the Coin of Life
So often we get caught up in distraction and busyness and wishing our time away.
“I can’t WAIT until I’m thin”
“I can’t WAIT until my vacation”
“I can’t WAIT until my scary comedy show is over”
Can’t wait for WHAT? Living?
I realized I was rushing through my life, even though I am retired. It’s so part of our culture. Immediate answers, immediate distraction from live events by i-devices, immediate feedback. Then there’s auto hotel check-in, auto bill-pay, auto email response – auto everything. Where is my mind and choice in all of this?
Besides the light speed of daily living, I further pondered that I was rushing MYSELF to make progress. I wasn’t happy with my comedy nor my acting nor my intuitive eating progress. I want everything right now! And if my progress isn’t at the new normal light speed, I feel I’m losing ground instead of gaining. And if I’m going to lose ground, why not just give up?
AHA! One of THOSE moments!
When I review where my acting is now vs. one year ago, I am LIGHT YEARS ahead in improvement and ability. But that took many classes, many tears, many days of practice and boring vocal exercises and getting used to well worn rejection. When I look at the set I’m going to perform tomorrow at a REAL LIVE COMEDY CLUB, it is so much more funny, and good, and my delivery is eons past my start, and I’m hopeful tomorrow’s show will be fun instead of terrifying. But that took days and days and weeks and weeks of daily writing, being brave enough to listen to the audio recordings of my class delivery and being willing to risk an open mic. It took being able to hear feedback and not wilt. Hard for me as my perfectionist voice still tries to protect me from rejection and proving myself unworthy. When I review my reaction to chips and Robot Aliens, I see that yes, I had a few chips. But I didn’t have bags of chips. And I took it to be a sign I needed to slow down and smell the success. I needed to celebrate this season with gratitude for all I have and all I’m willing to try in order to grow and encourage others and myself. My inner perfectionist is even impressed. I’m becoming a perfect imperfectionist – and THAT my dear BCs, really takes time!
Happy holidays, and don’t forget to call in or send audio for the Dec. update show. Fionna may provide a new song, Dawny has already sent in some great jokes, and I’m sure many BCs would love to hear from you if you’d like to be part of our holiday soiree.