DECISIONS AND THE ROBOT ALIENS – yesterday I reached out to a podcasting friend and was able to share some of my feelings and concerns. It felt great to be heard and understood, and it helped quite a bit. I also made some decisions to let go of a few commitments, not to do with the show, and that helped me also.
When I have more time to actually ponder, I want to process and think more about the entire direction of my life. What I want to focus on and what I want to have on and in my mind. I have to admit there were some Robot Aliens involved in my struggles yesterday. It’s a trigger I hadn’t worked through before — putting off decisions – even CONSIDERING decisions. It’s like my mind thinks, “Man, we’re stressed, and we need to have a diet to latch onto. And she’s not budging. What to do? I know, let’s trigger the Robot Aliens so she can drop all of that emotional struggle right back into her body issues where it is familiar and comfy.”
Sigh. It is tough when you’ve overeaten for emotional reasons. Not the same as a nice dinner out AT ALL. I don’t know about you, but when my tummy is too full and it feels like the pig is in the python, my esteem plummets and the nasty critical and doubting voices come flooding in. A diet would be SO MUCH EASIER. I can’t stress enough the emotional relief a diet would be. Not one of us likes the “Feeling fat” or the “out of control” feeling that Robot Aliens bring along for the ride – let alone having your pants that fit yesterday being to hard to zip today.
It’s like my subconscious protection is in warp overdrive. WE WANT A DIET! WE WANT A DIET!
OMG, what a horrible dilemma. I don’t want a diet at all. But I don’t want the tight pants either. Can I trust myself to let my body tell me what it wants? I know it doesn’t enjoy the tight-pants causing behaviors of late, and I don’t enjoy the feeling of weight gain. It is scary. But I know I was doing well before, and not now. What’s changed? That’s the demon that needs wrestling here.
VOICE ACTING ALL DAY – first rehearsal, then I go to my coach, then directly to class. The Santa Ana winds woke me early and I’m tired. Now I have to push aside that tiredness AND the emotional struggles to focus on my work. I have to really mine for some deep bravery today. I need to face my fears and realize I am worth the chance to try. I need to try for REAL and not give up on my voice acting piece. It will make me emotionally stronger. Nobody has a great day all of the time. Everybody has days where things are on their mind. The trick is to put it aside for the current moment. The trick is to focus on what is in front of you. To become the character, not to pretend.
Wow, for a moment I forgot to feel fat.
How about you?
Please feel free to comment on MY statuses or add YOUR OWN thoughts, feelings, challenges, rants and raves on these pages too. That was one of the original purposes of why I posted on FB. I thought BCs might like to share about THEIR days. So if you have thoughts and feelings you’d like to share with the group, go ahead and put them here with your comments.
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BB (Body Balance) number 3 Sleep: 4.5 hours divided (Santa Ana winds). Tummy/Gut: Gut feels very full. No surprise. Didn’t binge, but ate way too much when not hungry. Not Hungry within one hour of waking, and will wait until two hours before class unless I get hungry. Energy: Low. Mood: Cautious.
BB is my personal criteria, and I don’t think too hard about it. I ask myself at the keyboard, what is my BB? A number between 1-10, including halves, pops into my head. I write it in my post Then I figure out why it is higher or lower and gently make note.
If you are interested these are my measures.
- Sleep. Quality and Amount.
- Tummy/Gut – If I ate what my body asked for, usually above and below the belly button feel balanced. Ate too much, below the belly button feels more full. Ate too little, the reverse.
- Am I hungry within 1 hour of waking? I have found that I feel best if I am hungry within 1 hour of waking. This tends to make my eating day even and not heavy on food in the evening. But I don’t eat if not hungry unless I’m about to ride or hike. I’ve learned I need to fuel these morning activities, or I’ll bonk.
- What is my energy level? Subjective, but telling.
- A quick look at my mood.
The Bravery Coach
TheBraveryCoach daily tweet is a morning mediation on how I either did, or can incorporate an aspect of bravery into my day. It is cheerful. It is esteem building. Those who want to follow these on Twitter may, by searching for the hashtag #bravery or by seeing my profile: