Ep 0001 – Compulsive Overeating Star-date…Forever

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This is me setting out on a grand experiment. Just me and my trusty Roland-05 podcast recorder off to record my compulsive overeating thoughts and feelings. Does anyone else care? Will they listen? Will *I* listen?

Podcast Recap

I launch a new podcast that’s an intimate look inside my lifelong battle with compulsive eating and binge eating disorder. I offer up two first steps that help me deal with compulsive eating when it roars back into my life.

Mentioned

Laurie’s Sparkpeople team for listeners of the podcast and for those dealing with compulsive overeating, binge eating, or emotional eating issues who’d like support. – Closed 10/22/14 due to lack of participation

Body for Life

Weight Watchers

Credits

Host: Laurie Weaver

Main Theme: I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1

I’m Letting Go (Josh Woodward) / CC BY 3.0

Resource of the day

Binge Eating Disorder Association
A great place to get more information and support. A community and a resource.
Comments box:

11 thoughts on “Ep 0001 – Compulsive Overeating Star-date…Forever

  1. Cheryl Carter

    Laurie, I so relate to what you said about energy and overeating. All three times I’ve gotten it in gear and lost was because I just knew I couldn’t keep dragging myself around like that for the rest of my life. Fatigue, it seems, for me is a big motivator. But once I lose and start feeling better, I think I lose sight of why I started paying attention to what I eat again in the first place. Trouble is, before I’ve gained back close to what I’ve lost, I’m feeling worse than I did when I started. For me, you’re right. The right weight for each person is a relative thing. It’s a place where you can feel good and do what you need or want to to have a satisfying life.

    And you’re also right about it’s not just putting down the fork, as you said. That will only get you so far. The problem of food addiction runs much deeper than that, and so do the answers to the riddle of how to manage it. I don’t know how others feel, but I don’t believe we can ever truly fix it, anymore than a drug addict can get over his need of the drug. Anyone who has ever given up sugar for a time only to go nuts three months later when they stick a piece of candy in their mouth and then OD on sugar and sleep for hours knows it’s not that simple. The people who live with us need to understand that. Sigh…

    This is a hot, emotional topic, and I really hope people who listen to your podcast start to “weigh” in (pun intended) with their own thoughts and experiences to get the dialogue going. Being brave enough to bear it all — especially after having lost 130 lbs. — is an awesome thing. To be able to be really honest about what we’re feeling can be such a catharsis. Keep up the good work, and don’t get discouraged!

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      You are a rockstar, Cheryl and so very eloquent! I hope others “weigh” in too and share this journey with us. I too, think that compulsive eating and food addiction are behaviors we manage. I suppose it’s possible that some folk can feel cured, and if so, I wish them the best. For me, I’ve had long stretches of managing, but so far, my binge eating and compulsive eating has returned time and time again, eventually. I think this time what is new is that not only am I facing feelings I’m sharing them. Super scary, but more freeing than I have ever felt before. As a writer, you know the importance of finding your voice. I think with this podcast, I’m just starting to find out who I truly am from the inside out, and I’m starting to like what I see. I haven’t been crazy, it’s starting to make sense why I chose these behaviors and with this knowledge is my first glimmer of changing it for real. To put behaviors in place that support me, instead of punish me. It’s still early days, but since I began, my binge triggers have greatly reduced. I’m hopeful. I thank you again for participating, because I think you bring a strong and wonderful voice to the mix. Your insights help me even further, and for that, I am exceedingly grateful.

      Reply
  2. Joe

    Hi Laurie,
    I just started listening to your podcasts on day 6 of compulsive over eating.. I just finished the one about wishing more would leave a post on your blog? i’m assuming this is what that is? I have so far enjoyed your podcasts and love how REAL they are… I have been battling with COE for a long time and didn’t realize it as much as i do now. It’s been a constant battle. I’m in the process of seeking an OA class. I along with most think i fear the ABSTINENCE part of it. I do believe that is the only answer. I’m looking forward to listening to more of your podcasts. I’m like 9 months behind but i will catch up ..

    Just wanted to reach out and say how awesome they are.. I am also jealous that you live in the best place in this country.. southern Cali.. :-)…

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hi Joe, thanks SO much for taking the time to encourage me today. Many have success with OA, and I wish you well with that journey if that is what resonates with you. I’m still going strong and am currently following principles of Intuitive Eating. I changed my focus over time from weight loss to getting my life back from my compulsion. For me this show, where folks like you support me in expressing my true feelings and , where people support each other is a huge key to my progress. Please feel free to stop in at any time and share anything you desire. We all do really care around here. If you’re interested, here is a link to the book I use to help me with intuitive eating.Intuitive Eating
      PS, Where I live is a wonderful thing to be grateful for. Hard to remember when the temps are SO DARN HOT, but most of the year it is temperate and I can ride my bike and hike almost all year long. 🙂

      PSS, When you feel ready, you might like to post some of your story on our “Who are the brave companions?” page. That’s also where you can find a certificate to download once you’ve caught up on the episodes. So many new listeners start at day 1 and “binge listen” to the end, I thought a reward would be fun! hugs!
      -Laurie

      Reply
      1. joe

        Hi Laurie,
        Thanks for the speedy reply.. I am still contemplating the OA classes. I did order the book 12 steps of over eating… It does seem to fit me in some ways but not in every way. I am interested in finishing your podcasts. It’s nice to hear from those who also struggle and still are struggling day to day.. I think it would be great to overcome this food addiction i have. I’m not sure i ever will. It’s a battle as you know… Thanks for sharing your stories and i will look into that book as well. I also wanted to look into the other book you mentioned. How to overcome binge eating or something along those lines… i think you mentioned it in day 1 or day 2 of your podcasts..

        I visited San Diego once, for a week. I fell in love.. I don’t believe in person to person love at first sight but i can say i did fall in love with San Diego at first sight haha..

        Enjoy your day 🙂

        Joe

        Reply
        1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

          Hi Joe! You are lucky I happen to be working on the blog right now, so I am speedier than usual! 😉 Here’s the link to the Overcoming Binge Eating book that I read. This was one of the first I ever looked at years ago and thought it was great. I just wasn’t ready to give up dieting yet – and doing both is really a tricky and frustrating matter. I felt until this year, that getting thinner was the primary goal for me. Now, I feel that having a healthy relationship is more primary, if that makes sense. I can really recommend this book as it does a great job helping you take stock. Overcoming Binge Eating, Second Edition: The Proven Program to Learn Why You Binge and How You Can Stop
          Also, I’d like to recommend Alen Standish’s blog and podcast, Progress, not Perfection – it used to be called Quit Binge Eating and his specialty is in talking to guys (since he is one) about eating and perfectionism issues. Really cool guy and we have become good friends through our podcast work and interviews with one another.

          San Diego is so beautiful. It’s about 2 hours from us, without traffic, and we love to stay there. I can understand how you came to love it! Thanks again for your comments and I’ll be interested in following your journey.
          PS, it is totally ok however you go and it is also ok to stumble, feel stuck, or rant. That’s what this place is all about. As long as you don’t hurt others with comments, it’s however you feel, as much as you want to feel and participate, it’s all good. 🙂

          Reply
  3. Dave

    3-27-15 I just discovered your podcast on Stitcher, I am so very grateful you are willing to share.
    I listen to 3-4 episodes a day I hope to catch up soon.

    My wife is now also listening to you.

    Dave

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hi Dave, we are SO glad to see some another guy post around here. Though I have male listeners who struggle as we do, it is usually the ladies who come to post. Welcome to you and your lovely wife. I am truly grateful that you took time to post that you are here and listening. It has been quite the time making all of these shows. I have changed quite a bit in outlook and my life has improved immensely, though my weight, not so much. The show is really about how I cope (or try to cope) with what’s under my drive to eat vs, weight loss now. But other listeners are actively on weight loss and exercise plans and comment and share stories. We are an eclectic and supportive group around here. We call each other BCs for brave companions and we are glad to welcome you both as brave companions on our journey.

      Reply
  4. Shirley

    Hi Laurie, I listened to your first podcast this morning. It was my action for the day to look on-line to find support for my recently renewed habit of compulsively overeating. Looks like there are many more podcasts to go and I just wanted to say that I am looking forward to listening to them.

    I’ve been overeating compulsively since childhood. I understand a great deal about why but it hasn’t led to permanent relief from the compulsion. I stopped dieting in my forties as a result of reading a book called “Fat is A Feminist Issue” and started learning to love myself. I tried Overeaters Anonymous for several years but it’s not for me even though it was highly successful in helping me reach a goal weight. I tried WW and that helped as well, but is too expensive for my current financial situation. I discovered some books on nutrition that helped me to develop my own healthy eating plan and was very successful in getting my blood pressure and cholesterol down to that of someone in their 40’s.

    But over the last six months I have gradually been putting on weight. And I really believe, as you say, that fear is the main reason. My fears are hiding below the surface, just out of sight. Overeating helps to keep them hidden.

    So about a week ago I finally conceded something that I was definitely in denial about – will- power just wasn’t working for me. It occurred to me that there must be something on the WWW in the form of support. There must be other people who struggle with compulsive overeating and are looking for support too.
    And that’s how I found your podcasts and started listening.

    I look forward to listening to them all, and maybe sharing more of my story as time goes by. So, thank you.
    I started listening to your podcast a few days ago and I wanted to say that it’s been really helpful. And so far in many aspects, your story mirrors my own experiences with compulsive overeating and other eating disorders.
    I especially relate to the emotional eating aspect and just how easily the patterns reappear.

    I want to be healthy. That’s my ultimate goal. It’s not so much about how much I weigh or how I look. I have come to love my body as it is. My main concern is that being 60+, I want to be able to enjoy my life as I get older. I come from a family that did not express feelings, and is prone to stroke and heart disease. Most of us are overweight. My sister died of an embolism, my father of a stroke and my brother has had a severely debilitating stroke. I was successfully shedding excess weight, to the tune of 25 kilos over 3-4 years. Then I started eating in such a way as to very gradually regain weight over the last six months, with an increase in my blood pressure and cholesterol. And as hard as I tried to return to the healthy lifestyle that I had worked so hard to achieve, I felt like a failure. Because despite my best efforts to stick to a healthy eating plan, I have found myself choosing the comfort foods over the foods that are best for my health. When I say I don’t diet, I don’t go without foods I love. But when I choose my loved foods almost all the time, the kinds that lead to gradual weight gain, high blood pressure and cholesterol, then I know I have a problem. And its taken me 6 months to admit that I need support. Since I started listening to your podcast 4 days ago, I have started to eat in the yummy healthy way that led to me shedding over fifty five pounds in the last 3-4 years.

    So thank you for sharing your story. It’s started me back on the road to healthy eating and opening up about what is going on emotionally for me.

    Reply
    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hi Shirley, Big hugs and a BIG welcome. I can so relate to your story and am also so pleased that the show may help you feel supported and not alone. Believe me, there are thousands of folks who let me know that we have some similar issues and challenges around food and eating (especially in the emotional eating realm). I ceased doing the main show almost one year ago exactly after 120 episodes. If you listen to them all, you will meet some wonderful people along the way. You will also discover that my road was far from easy and straight forward. But I learned so much and I can truthfully say that my life (I’m now in my late 50s) would not be as filled with fun, purpose or friends as it is now, if I had not taken that 18 months or so to talk about my feelings, tell the truth and figure out how to make food be food in my life and not just an escape. I hope you will enjoy all of the people’s stories as you hear them, and I would LOVE to hear more of your thoughts as you go along. I still do an update episode from time to time. Would you be comfortable if I greet you my name and share some of your comments on a future episode? No worries if you would not. Either way, I’m very glad you found us here. xoxoxoxo

      Reply
      1. Shirley

        Hi Laurie,
        Thanks for replying. Yes, that would be OK to share my thoughts. And it’s good to know that you are still making an episode from time to time. I look forward to getting to know you better through your podcasts and to sharing more of my story.

        Reply

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