Ep 0018 – Food Issues Don’t Always Match up with Body Size and Break the Chains of Secrecy with Support

Laurie waves from the top of a trail at Descanso Gardens
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A guy was writing at my usual podcast bench in Descanso, so I went uphill to find another spot. This led to a ‘King of the World’ moment that I captured here in the photo above, and as a video on Instagram.

Podcast Recap

I share why you can’t assume body size equals eating issues and discuss how bravery and support can break the debilitating chains of secrecy. Shout-outs to new listeners, Jenny and Ashley, and stats for the top ten countries and states that download Compulsive Overeating Diary.


Episode 12 “Plan Be”

Please post your support for the listener with the Girl Scout cookie problem.

The episode where I sing in German (Auf Deutsch) at 7:20

Bravery Hotline

Leave your comments, questions, feelings and stories on Laurie’s podcast voicemail hotline – 206-350-6445.


Host: Laurie Weaver

Main Theme: I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1

I’m Letting Go (Josh Woodward) / CC BY 3.0

Resource of the day

Compulsive Overeating and How to Stop It This is a WebMD review of a book by former FDA Commissioner David Kessler, MD, who suffers from compulsive overeating himself. From the review, I think this is a simplistic look at the issue, but gives a good outine of the chemical component and ideas that may help. Worth a read!
Comments box:

9 thoughts on “Ep 0018 – Food Issues Don’t Always Match up with Body Size and Break the Chains of Secrecy with Support

  1. Gato

    I just started listening to your podcasts and appreciate it very much. I’ve been dealing with binge eating for almost half my life now, and it’s been such a drain on my time, emotions, finances and relationships. It’s an exhausting and lonely problem. I hope you reach your goals!

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hi Gato thanks for sharing your thoughts. I agree, it is an exhausting business. So much of our mental energy gets diverted to the food instead of happy and constructive pursuits. Thank you for the good wishes, and I hope you will feel free to post and ask for support when you need it, so it won’t feel quite so lonely for you.

  2. Stéfanie

    hey Laurie this is Stéfanie from Canada! In my zen spot right now and just finished episode 18. Feeling very grateful for your help, stories, truthfullness. thank you. i don’t know you, but I love you. Stéfanie xx

  3. Diane

    Hi Laurie!!!! This one spoke volumes to me!

    I am NOT a big person. And those few people that know that I have an eating disorder are shocked because I do not look like someone that has an eating disorder! I look fit for the most part and maybe I’m ten pounds overweight. so you are spot on when you say that body size does not always indicate an eating disorder.

    I wish I could post a picture here to illustrate my point and yours.

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Wow, Diane, you are zipping along through the episodes! 🙂
      Yes, for example, there is a Stephanie here, from Germany, who likewise has a normal weight, and Sandy, who I met in person has a normal weight too. But they, and many others have contacted me for what’s going on in their heads and behaviors around food. In a way it’s tough because everyone assumes that all is fine. The secret is more hidden, than for someone like me, who wears my trouble literally on my body. But as I said in that episode, that being big doesn’t always mean eating disorder either. So I”m glad we are all talking about these things as it may bring comfort and possibly add to breaking through some of our own and others’ sense of judgment and pain.

  4. Cathi

    Hi Laurie! Like so many of your podcasts, this one is right on for me. I am overweight and feel unattractive. I become immobilized by shame. I try to remember how unimportant my looks are to family and true friends – what’s in the heart is so much more important. Our culture is obsessed with ‘look-ism’ and it’s very hard not to negatively compare yourself to the unrealistic Hollywood norm. I try to remember that even with the luck of good genes, it’s a full time job, and takes lots of help from trainers, chefs, beauticians, to look the way they do. But a life time of internal chatter and judgment is a considerable struggle to overcome. Like you, I also ‘wear my trouble’ on my body and it’s difficult for folks without an eating disorder to understand the huge effort involved in not turning to food to numb the pain. For me there is also fear about actually getting thin and being noticed in that way. Thank goodness for this forum! To begin to trust that no matter the particulars of our struggles that we are not alone, that it does make sense to someone else and that there is comfort in this support.

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      By George, I think you’ve got it! BTW, thanks SO MUCH for your call while you were walking! I really needed that boost and it is so cool to have the “walk and talk” come back to me. Maybe you might like to try the Foolish Fun feature. That’s where you call the bravery hotline and just do something silly. It’s for those times when you might not feel the best and you want to show yourself you are other than someone with an eating issue. You can sing, whistle, tell a joke you find on the internet or one you know, play a kazoo, read a sentence in a funny voice. Anything! It really is fun to let go. AND you can tell your name or be an unknown Foolish Funner. I’m pitching you this gig because I can tell you are AWESOME and would love for you to have fun.

  5. Rachel

    Thank you for this one because you are so right about size and an eating disorder. If you saw me you wouldn’t think I had a problem in the slightest and this makes it much harder to convince people, if I was to ever disclose it. I get away with it by exercising regularly partly because I enjoy it, partly because I feel I owe it to myself to keep healthy and partly to counteract the overeating. Luckily have never binged exercised like you have. Feelings are valid for everyone and the struggle can be very similar for all, except the fitting in chairs bit (thank you for mentioning it because it would be something I have never had to worry about and never really thought about),but so real for you and restricting as to where you might visit. We all deserve to be valued and respected whatever we look like. There are so many shared experiences and ah ha moments to identify with. I know I will never be teased like you for wearing shorts, but may get a jealous backlash instead. This is something I had never thought about until a very good and trusted friend mentioned it. Thank you again for your honesty in disclosing your experiences. They go a long way in understanding ourselves and to identifying with you also. The secretiveness is big part of our behaviour and difficult to reveal. Still enjoying the catch up and glad to say the missing episodes have turned up. Thank you again. Virtual hugs. xxx

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Thanks Rachel, one of the things I was MOST surprised by was the response to this episode. As someone who has “worn” my compulsions on my body, I was truly shocked by the number of brave companions who reached out to me, who appear perfectly within “the norm” of body size, and yet who suffer many of the issues that those of us who have binged and dieted face. It is humbling. I myself, was a normal size for a few years after my last bout with Weight Watchers, and new people who met me, would have had NO idea the struggle dealing with food was for me. So again I say, body size is NOT an indicator of compulsion. We all have different genetics and the unifying thread is not visible. It is when food becomes a be all end all that interrupts the rest of our life. Today, I am still overweight, and yet I have a freedom that I have never had before at any size. Food is becoming something to nourish me, or to enjoy because it is delicious. A state of affairs I could not have dreamed of in my binge/dieting days. I so thank you Rachel for posting, as us “fat chicks” often think that thinner folk have it made. It has truly opened my eyes, and for that I am very, very grateful.


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