Ep 0057 – Bonus – Why do I only feel worth money doing what I DON’T care about?

Laurie leaning her chin on her arm up in a grove on the hiking trail.
Scroll to the "Comments box" or call 206-350-6445 to tell us what you think.
On podcast pages click the arrow to play the episode.
I take a rest at my next to upper Zen spot before recording. I am SO tired. I didn’t sleep much last night and my exhaustion shows on my face. Despite that, it feels SO good to be back on the mountain.

Podcast Recap

I take a huge risk and explore what’s REALLY under my fear of associating business and money with doing what I love. Control? Lack of assertiveness? Lack of self-worth? Panic? As I think about my career past, I wonder why I can only see my value when I’m doing what I DON’T care about. A warm hello and welcome to new listener and brave companion, Monica from Australia! Please take a minute and post your hellos to her also.

Trail in sunlight against the grassy hill

I love this shot of the trail leading to my upper Zen spot from my next to upper Zen spot. See how beautiful the colors were this morning? How vibrant the light!

Prayer rocks on the fence next to Laurie's hat and hiking poles.

You can see my prayer rocks in the shadows next to my hat. I placed these today with the thought of guidance. Can I actually attempt to make money doing what I love? Can I keep true to my vision? Can I continue to be of help to others and myself? Very scary and tricky stuff.


My pathetic Episode Day 4

ToonaCat’s Kids Club – the Creative Place for Kids! The archived version of my former website for kids.

An article about Money being harder to talk about than Sex!

Want to have Fun Being Foolish too?

Participate in our new feature called “Foolish Fun“. Just call the bravery hotline 206-350-6445 or check out the send audio page on http://www.compulsiveovereatingdiary.com/how-to-send-audio/
And tell us a joke, riddle, a silly story, limerick, sing a song, play a kazoo, ANYTHING but talk about compulsive eating. This is the feature where messing up is just part of the act! No names required and Silly Aliases are AOK! Need ideas? See Day 54’s Resource of the Day for my page of ToonaCat Jokes

Catch up with Laurie

My Spreaker page. Please follow me there if you are on Spreaker.

My Instagram page at LaurieDreamWeaver

FaceBook Page if you want to sign up for our email list by clicking Tiger the Cat’s Sign-up button

Laurie on Tumblr

My page with instructions for all of the ways (so far) that you can send audio and lend your voice to this podcast.

New free way to leave voicemail http://speakpipe.com/laurieweaver You can also click the blue button on this page that says ‘send a voice message.’

Bravery Hotline

Leave your comments, questions, feelings and stories on Laurie’s podcast voicemail hotline – 206-350-6445.


Host: Laurie Weaver

Main Theme:I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1

I’m Letting Go (Josh Woodward) / CC BY 3.0

Resource of the day

Human Resources : How to Negotiate Salary During Job Offer
A great short video by Pat Goodwin, of Pat Goodwin Associates where she gives you examples and language for assertively, but professionally negotiating a higher salary during an in-person job offer. Even if aren’t looking for a job, it is a dandy example of being assertive.
Comments box:

13 thoughts on “Ep 0057 – Bonus – Why do I only feel worth money doing what I DON’T care about?

  1. Monica

    Hi everyone,

    Since Laurie was so kind welcoming me and encouraging everyone to say hi to me, just thought I’d drop you all a line & say hi to you. I hope I’m posting this in the right place and it gets to you, my fellow brave companions.

    I’ve only just discovered Laurie’s great podcasts and am enjoying starting from podcast 1 – even though I just skipped ahead to 57 to say hello.

    Looking forward to hearing all your stories and sharing mine with time.


    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hi Monica, Welcome and well done for posting your hello for the other brave companions to see! I hope you will feel comfortable dropping in to post your comments whenever anything’s on your mind or when something triggers an idea in a podcast episode or when you’d like to support other brave companions. I am happy to have met you on your journey and look forward to sharing the road with you. 🙂

    2. Michelle Mckinney

      Hi Monica- welcome! Glad you found the podcast. That is very thoughtful for you to skip ahead and say hello. I look forward to learning more about you.

  2. Sue

    Hi Monica, I’m glad you have found these podcasts and hope you enjoy sharing this part of your journey with us.

  3. Cheryl

    I don’t think your dilemma is all that unusual or hard to understand at all. The thing is (from my perspective, anyway), what we are passionate about, what we do for love, we don’t WANT to sell because it cheapens our affection and devotion somehow. I’ve been very, very lucky in my life to be able to only take jobs that I truly enjoyed (well, except for this latest stink with H&R Block, which I knew going into I wasn’t going to like). And I knew I would love them. The truth is, I would have done all of them for free because I found them so fulfilling. As a result of that, in the 22 years I worked at Family in Christ as church secretary, never once would I accept the raises they tried to give me every year. When I managed Copy Express, I took the barest minimum of a salary and made sure everyone received a small raise yearly, but I never gave myself one. You get the picture. I was struggling with the same thing you are.

    Is there a way to solve the dilemma? Maybe what you’d have to do is make them two separate businesses with clear boundaries between the two. But if there really is some way you can move forward and help even more people by your honesty and candidness, you shouldn’t pass on the opportunity. In the book of Genesis in the Bible (my pardons to any who might not be of any religious persuasion), God told Abraham he was going to bless him so that he, in turn, could be a blessing to others. I think that’s a calling we all have. We’re blessed to reach out and bless others through our connections. That’s just my 2 bits worth.

    And btw, when you start trying to be assertive after years of allowing your family to think you’re actually the live-in maid, WATCH OUT! It’s really going to hit the fan! LOL Bitchy is NOT the word my family would have used!

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hey GF, thanks for your thoughts and for sharing your experience. From my own perspective, I agree partially in my case about the feeling that money cheapens the passion, but not quite. As I’ve listened to the show and thought about it myself, my experience with ToonaCat in particular, was a lack of self-esteem. I felt that it became popular by accident, because someone from Windows Magazine found the site early on and featured it. What I didn’t give myself credit for, was that ToonaCat got the boost because it was a great site with a great purpose. The Character did his job, and got kids excited about being creative and talking about being creative. I was always proud of ToonaCat, but somehow forgot that ToonaCat was ME. I have felt for so long that if people ever got to know the real me, they would be disappointed. Low self-worth, Low expectations, Low everything when it comes to giving myself credit or opportunity. I am still amazed every day that the brave companions spend some of their precious time listening to my ramblings here, let alone care about me, or what I have to say. But you, my friend, and many other brave companions have proven to me that you DO CARE. I can’t dispute it, even though my critical mind tries to. Time is the true coin of life. Time is what you can never get back. So I can appreciate the success of ToonaCat.com AND Compulsive Overeating Diary by the time people gave and give to participating in these projects of mine. Now I still struggle with the idea of making money with what is fun for me. But what I do, and did, takes my time as well as money from my family. Without Mark’s support, and his making financial sacrifices and time sacrifices to allow me to do what I do, neither of my projects would have seen the light of day. So as I’m pondering on these things, I’m considering the whole package of benefit. If I can actually develop income from this and still meet the needs of myself and brave companions, then I will feel more balanced with the time and money I devote. But it is tricky, because finding and meeting an audience need and making money is not my motivation. However, it will be interesting to see what I can come up with. At least for now, I’m not apologizing anymore for putting Amazon.com affiliate links up. That’s a great start. I have to sit with these psychological changes just as much as I need to sit with eating and food changes through intuitive eating. It’s all baby steps. I guess our whole life is a series of baby steps, otherwise we wouldn’t grow or change. Hugs and thanks again for your support, time, and good food for thought!

      1. Cheryl

        Well I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise that along with eating changes comes psychological changes. After all, we’re not just a bunch of “pieces” put together like a puzzle, it’s all integrated. So do what you have to do to make this work for you and Mark. Seems to me the people who come up with the best “businesses” are the ones who really have their heart and soul invested in the enterprise. You certainly have that in spades! Hugs!

  4. Cheryl

    PS. HELLO, MONICA FROM AUSTRALIA! I love Aussies. My BFF is an Aussie. She lives on the other side of the continent, however, in Perth. Hope you’ll feel right at home in this wonderful bunch and share your struggles and victories with all of us.

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Thanks Sue! I’ll look into it 🙂 I just spoke with a representative, and I would have to get a separate affiliate account for Amazon.co.uk. So next step is to call my accountant to see if it would be more problems on my taxes to get a little money from outside the USA. Thanks for thinking of me!

  5. Michelle Mckinney

    HI Laurie- I finally made it to the website- yea! I am all caught up with your podcasts, now. I do want to go back though and listen again to a few of them. I have really been enjoying your thoughts on intuitive eating. I’m experimenting a little bit with it myself but I struggle at stopping at a 6. I still have to fight the urge to continue on- I think there is a part of me that doesnt think this is going to last-allowing me to be more free with my food choices so when I eat, a part of my brain says, eat as much as you can know because you never know when she is going to restrict us again. It help if I tell myself that I can stop and leave the extra food there and the plate beside me and if I still want it in 20 minutes I can finish it- that is helping to stop that clean your plate, eat every last morsel habit. Somehow in my binge state I crave the feeling of being too stuffed- that a meal doesn’t feel complete unless I get that numbed out feeling, so I am working on feeling comfortable stopping sooner. Anyway, its a journey! I have the books you listed otherwise I would get them through you. I thought it was fascinating when you talked about wanting to be a speaker on weight loss- I think you kind of are doing that now. Who knows where this journey will take you! Good night….. xoxo oh ps- it was nice to hear my shout out on the podcast. It felt good to hear that- thanks!

  6. Stéfanie

    Hey Laurie,
    This weekend at my art exhibition, a fellow artist came to see me to say that my stuff was too valuable to see it for so low. He said that not only did it give the impression that it wasn’t worth it and gave it a cheap look, but that was also unloyal competition to the others. Also he said I had a beautiful signature and a lot of talent so I needed to step up to my worth. He was very nice as I explained I just wanted to do the art part, no the selling part. Man I hate selling my stuff…. just like you, I need to be more assertive.

    I don.t have any business tricks for you but I can comfort you in the idea of aiming for money. You.ve got a great product here. Aim high girl! All the time and money you invest is worth it.

    Oh by the way here are 2 ideas. Listen to bevan james eyles podcast ‘fitness behavior’. He sells a 2 or 3 $ pdf exercice/worksheet that comes with each podcast for people who want to further their reflection after listening to the free podcast. He also asks for donations. He.s assertive and not pushy at all! Betty thursten also does the free podcast and offers individual counseling each podcast. The truth is I won.t be getting counseling with her but I totally totally totally understand that she makes a small sales pitch in everyone of her podcast. She.s also assertive and not pushy. Free quality content in exchange of a sales pitch? I totally get that.

    Hey Monica! Hey BCs! Xxx

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Thanks Dear Stéfanie for the ideas and especially for the comfort and support that I’m not an evil money-grubbing hound if I try to develop some corresponding services and/or products to help support Compulsive Overeating Diary. A also have found what your fellow artist to say is true. It’s kind of like property values in a neighborhood being tied together. AND it sounds like your fellow artist BELIEVES in your talent and that your artistic work is worth it. So, my challenge to you, is next art show try upping your prices by, how about 30%? I believe in you too!


What's your story?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *