Ep 0067 – Bonus – What’s Under My Body Shame?

Laurie shows thumbs up in a straw hat and glasses in front of the windows of her house.
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Thumbs up for a bright and early walk and talk to beat the heat. 6:30 a.m. I leave my house to head to down to the park to record.

Podcast Recap

I ponder my sudden burst of body shame and explore possible reasons why I feel I may disappoint listeners and myself. I tell about a cool Facebook group, Operation Global Change that supports the body acceptance movement. I update my Amazon page to include my favorite things and thank the generous shoppers who use the Compulsive Overeating Diary link for USA, UK and Canada. I listen to the Coffee Klatch and update my buttons on their feedback and advice. Finally, the Unknown Foolish Funner makes us all feel good!

Street view at 6:30 a.m. Cars are parked along the road and a bank of flowers grow on one side of the sidewalk.

You can see what the street looks like on the way to the park by “dawn’s early light”. My downhill neighbor has pretty flowers AND a big dog! (You can hear him in episode 1…one reason I don’t record on the way DOWN anymore, but wait until I reach the park).

Street in shadow and the park already in full sun at 7:00 a.m.

Almost 7:00 AM and you can already tell it’s gonna be a scorcher today!


The Operation Global Change FB group for body acceptance

My Weight Story Photos

My mission statement

See my favorite and useful things on Amazon (US, Canada and UK)

Want to have Fun Being Foolish too?

Participate in our new feature called “Foolish Fun“. Just call the bravery hotline 206-350-6445 or check out the send audio page on http://www.compulsiveovereatingdiary.com/how-to-send-audio/
And tell us a joke, riddle, a silly story, limerick, sing a song, play a kazoo, ANYTHING but talk about compulsive eating. This is the feature where messing up is just part of the act! No names required and Silly Aliases are AOK! Need ideas? See Day 54’s Resource of the Day for my page of ToonaCat Jokes

Catch up with Laurie

My Spreaker page. Please follow me there if you are on Spreaker.

My Instagram page at LaurieDreamWeaver

FaceBook Page if you want to sign up for our email list by clicking Tiger the Cat’s Sign-up button

Laurie on Tumblr

My page with instructions for all of the ways (so far) that you can send audio and lend your voice to this podcast.

New free way to leave voicemail http://speakpipe.com/laurieweaver You can also click the blue button on this page that says ‘send a voice message.’

Bravery Hotline

Leave your comments, questions, feelings and stories on Laurie’s podcast voicemail hotline – 206-350-6445.


Host: Laurie Weaver
Laurie’s Foolish Fun Intro Announcer: Mark Weaver
Foolish Fun Content: The Unknown Foolish Funner

Main Theme:I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1

I’m Letting Go (Josh Woodward) / CC BY 3.0

Sounds used in Laurie’s Foolish Fun Intro

  • Slide Whistle sounds
  • Background Tune/Beat
  • Girl’s Laughter
  • Phone Ring

Resource of the day

ToonaCat’s Vacation Journal
My wonderful now grown-up niece was 7 years old and in the 3rd grade when she wrote a journal of ALL of the vacations ToonaCat took one year. Full of imagination and featuring her own drawings, it was a hit at the time and is still a wonderful thing to read. Enjoy!
Comments box:

6 thoughts on “Ep 0067 – Bonus – What’s Under My Body Shame?

  1. Sue

    I just wanted to give you a big hug when I heard this episode. What you are modelling to us is one way to discover a healthy relationship with food, altering your strategy as you learn more. You clearly have the energy to do what you want, except when injured. Your bloods are normal and you are tackling the underlying issues with true bravery. What’s unimpressive about that? You should be on the bravery report for that podcast.

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Thanks Sue, I almost cried when I read your comment this morning. I think it is part of the embedded diet mentality that fat/big is bad that became apparent during the recording of this bonus session. I have some more to work through for sure on that arena. But, I’m hoping that whatever struggles I face, by telling them, it may help someone else and that puts meaning into them even beyond the benefit I get out of working through these unpleasant feelings. Even though, as you say, I have energy, feel well, SUPER enjoyed the freedom I had around food and dining out during my company’s visit, I still have underlying feelings of shame around my size. But I have to be nice to myself, because my size is just one attribute of all that I am, and not the best indicator of my worth. Thanks again SO much, I really needed this encouragement today.

  2. Amy from WI

    I really enjoy your bonus episodes. I am right there with you as far as feeling fat, not wanting to feel fat, and wanting to feel accepted. I was one of those people that listened to all the episodes to catch up, and I’m sure I wanted to hear you keep losing weight as you started out, but I find it much more real and helpful that you have shared your honest journey. I don’t see you as any sort of failure, and I sure don’t want you to feel that way, either. While I’m not on the same path as you right now (I’m still counting calories and weighing myself), I know that we both need to be patient and allow the journey to follow its course. Your body is adjusting to this new method of intuitive eating and it will take time for the adjustment to happen. Stay strong, my friend.

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Amy, thanks so very much. It means so much to me that you shared that you don’t view me as a failure for not losing more weight. It goes to show that we can be MUCH harder on ourselves and that we can also make painful assumptions about how others view us. It’s good to be reminded that many people view us kindly, and we can also view ourselves that way.

  3. Diane

    I loved this episode because you are so REAL! I don’t think that any new listener that starts at episode one will be disappointed at all! Sure, we all want to be successful at weight loss, but I think more importantly, we all want to have a better relationship with f ood. You are showing us that it is possible. You have worked do hard to get to the place where you are…..regardless of the number on the scale! You are so real and genuine and your honesty is what I love most!

    I used to have a blog and read a lot of blogs several years ago, before Facebook. I had a very difficult time in being 100 percent honest in what I posted. I would usually post the highlights and good stuff and if I ever posted anything that may have made me look foolish or even like a failure, I would still try to make it out to be “not so bad”….. but I LOVED my fellow bloggers that could open up and truly put themselves out there! Those were my favorite blogs to read!! I feel that way about your podcast!

    So here is a big, heartfelt THANK YOU LAURIE for creating THIS!


  4. Cheryl

    My gosh what an important, important topic! Guilt and shame. It’s so easy to forget the difference and mix them all up. Guilt is ultimately about our “behavior,” shame is about our “being.” We’re hard-wired to feel guilt. It’s what makes us able to function in society. As people we live in relationship with others, so if our behavior is improper we need that guilt to remind us that, at the very least, we’re probably violating the boundaries that are necessary for good relationships. You know the old saying: Good fences make good neighbors?

    But shame is NOT something we’re meant to experience. It’s a learned reflex and one that doesn’t serve to help our relationships or society at all. Years ago my husband and I hosted a study of a book by John Bradshaw called “Healing The Shame That Binds You.” We didn’t know what to expect, so imagine our surprise when 16 people showed up at our house with all these emotions spilling out because they all felt this insidious emotion. We can all identify with what you’re feeling.

    The sad truth is, I fear, that no matter how hard we work at sorting it all out, it’s a feeling most of us will continue to struggle with to some extent for the rest of our lives. But remembering that there’s a difference between behavior and being is a great first step.

    I can see exactly where you’re coming from, Laurie, with your fear of disappointing others. But you never PROMISED anyone you’d lose weight. You just invited them along on a journey of self-discovery. It’s important, I think, to remember that the journey isn’t about the destination, it’s about what happens as you’re making the trip and who you meet along the way. And that’s the place where we all join you. You made a wonderful point when you said you wanted your podcast to be a cure for isolation. I’m guessing for some of us that’s actually the primary point of healing. So maybe the whole weight issue is really just secondary to what your podcast can achieve. Or the group you’re trying to set up for that matter.

    We learn more from watching how we each handle our trials than we do from watching each others’ victories. Do we pick ourselves back up? Do we have a hissy fit? Throw in the towel? Or any of the tons of other coping behaviors we model for each other. The second deepest value of your podcast is teaching people who struggle how to ride out the storms of food life. There is so, so much value in what you do and who you ARE that you’re able to connect with others the way you do.

    So remember, it’s always the journey that matters.


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