Ep 0146 – Our Bodies Aren’t Who We Are – Memories One Year Later

Laurie blowing a kiss from the Next to Top Zen Place on the Mountain
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I blow a kiss to my Mom and to you as I remember the last year.

Podcast Recap

I face strong emotions one year after Mom died and ponder why we put so much emphasis on our bodies. Comment conversations about life being affirming or draining from BC Mary S., BC Jo from the UK, BC North, BC Kat and BC Josephine. BC Cynthia from the Netherland’s Instagram response after our last show. Snippets from Dawny and Brave Petra who left update comments on compulsiveovereatingdiary.com. Another visit with Mark the Meditator who gives his thoughts on mindfulness inspired by comments from Amy from WI and BC Kat. Mindful Mark also gives his ‘meditative’ take on successful relationships for BC Laura who is just days away from her wedding.

Laurie and her Mom outside a pink tea shop building on a sunny day

Mom and me outside of a tea shop from the last time I visited before she was in the hospital. Peas in a pod.

Laurie from overhead by the Zen bench dressed all in blue wearing her Mom's pants

I walked my mom’s pants up here! These are her jeans and they fit me since I also have her ‘genes’ LOL

A ring of stones with a wild flower on top

I’ve been placing Mom’s ashes in places that mean something to me. I also brought rocks from Washington, the center stone is one of these.

Laurie and Mark by the ocean smiling and hugging each other - Mark's hair is very wind blown

The ‘Cute’ photo of Mark and me at Ventura

Laurie in bike gear with the blue grey Pacific Ocean behind

Here’s s selfie from my solo bike ride in Ventura where I pondered mindfulness.


Last show and comments

Dawny’s update comment about how she’s dealing with new house ownership

Petra’s update comment about how she’s accepting herself and becoming a Beach Body coach

Petra’s Instagram page at PetraDoingPetra

Our Social Media TAG is #CODBCS

Show where Petra’s bravery was featured

My Big Fat Update show where I first talk about Mom’s illness and passing

Ways to support the show financially


Host: Laurie Weaver
Mark the Meditator Announcer: Laurie Weaver
Mark the Meditator: Mark Weaver

Main Theme: I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1 Used by permission of Josh Woodward under a Creative Commons License

Other Sounds

  • Crowd Cheering
  • Applause
Comments box:

6 thoughts on “Ep 0146 – Our Bodies Aren’t Who We Are – Memories One Year Later

  1. Dawny

    Thank you dear Laurie for this today. For one, it’s really touched me in an emotional way in regards to my relationship with my mother, her ailing health, and the time I don’t spend with her but I need to. My heart wrenches for the pain you endure Even though I know it’s just life an in evitable. I still have great compassion for you and your heart ache and pain.

    I appreciate the snippets regarding body/weight from you and other bc’s. At a time where my brain has revolted back to stressing about my size, what I eat, the impact it can have on my life, burning calories etc. the lack of significant importance this will have when I’m laying on my deathbed, as well as the happiness that it stops for me. I want to live a happy fulfilling life constantly stressing obsessing about what to eat what not to eat and how it will impact me blah blah blah is definitely not creating that for me. Thru my adventures I’ve become far more mindful n aware in my eating practices and I feel like I’ve made great habit changes that will take me far in this journey. And I appreciate the constant reminders and as well knowing I’m not in this alone

    As I mentioned in a previous post I’ve made it through and landed on my feet. Work is back to normal, although I’ll miss the overtime paychecks, I won’t miss the chaos. I feel quite settled in my new home, I’ve checked off all but one thing off the to do list To feel complete and moved in. I truly love my new space, although small, and several reservations at first it’s worked out quite nicely. I’m so very thankful I look forward to this new part of my life and creating new memories.

    I almost feel boring. After so much stress and chaos for the last two months fronting preparing moving family, adding in the work bs now that things are calm I almost don’t know what to do with myself LOL. I feel good about life. I feel happy and I feel like I’m in a good place. I expressed thanks for this part of my life daily.

    I appreciate you my friend. Knowing you’re always there, I have someone who understands and gets it and as you said just doing a friends.

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Hi Dawny, It was really great to read your thoughts on these topics too, and I’m very sorry your Mom’s health is still in question. I’m sending you and your mom love and hugs.

      Yesterday was long with my skin cancer procedure and I found myself bouncing between feelings of gratitude and lethargy. It is hard at times to deal with life’s ups and downs, and much easier to deal with the scale’s ups and downs! I know you will get me on this. The downside of feeling feelings is how those negative feelings feel. The upside, is by feeling them, they move on.

      This last year has been so full of unexpected moments of grief and joy and memories that come from nowhere. Good and bad. It has been hard to step into my new identity as an orphan lady of a ‘certain’ age. I think that was one of the reasons I stepped back on the mountain with you all. Because I still feel like me on the mountain. Talking to you is a bridge and a help and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there. xoxoxoxo

      PS, I Sooooo get the feeling of boredom after stress. It’s like the stress was normal and Zen just don’t quite sit right. But give it time and enjoy the chance to create exciting things in your new life that you love! You deserve it. xoxoxo

  2. Sue

    Oh Laurie, this episode is so real and emotional. Thank you for voicing so eloquently in a way that many of us wish we could emulate. You have been very much in my thoughts, especially in the weeks preceding this broadcast.

    I was starting to feel low around the beginning of September and was very much aware of my own imminent anniversary. I thought I was doing ok then on the day, I found it hard to hold back the tears. Fortunately my colleagues were very understanding and were with me when I couldn’t cope with large crowds. In many ways I had a bigger outpouring of grief on the anniversary than I had experienced in the months following my Dad’s sudden death. I did something quite unusual for me and made an spontaneous decision to travel to visit my Mum. She was really surprised, but grateful that i had gone. We did some clearing out of my Dad’s belongings the following day, which was useful and good to do with Mum.

    I have been somewhat quiet in recent months for several unrelated reasons. Mainly I listen to the podcasts when I am settling down to sleep and often come up with things to say that I totally forget by the time I have a chance to write anything. Partly I have been suffering frequent chest infections, which have come especially thick and fast from the start of the summer. That and other issues have made me rather tired and lethargic.

    When I do have some energy I have invested it in taking part in various productions: The Pirates of Penzance, La Traviata, a couple of concerts which were compilations of various show tunes and other popular numbers. This is a vast departure from my usual choral events during which I can use musical scores. These were with a vast amount of memorised material and even required me having to move in time to music! As usual my daughter has rocked her solo items in these events. I am faaaaaar to scared to do solos.

    The other big news is that I am going to be a grandma. I hesitated sharing this, knowing that for some, especially you, dear Laurie, will not be able to experience that joy. So, for those who find hearing such news, I really feel for you – big hugs. In the meantime I have started making a baby quilt and knitting various small garments. My grandson is due early February and we will be travelling to Italy at half term in February to meet him and congratulate my son and daughter-in- law.

    The excessive tiredness and lethargy have meant that my weight has crept up again and I am now the heaviest I have ever been. This is rather disappointing, but I am trying to be kind to myself and not too self-critical. I know that I can mindfully deal with food, but also that I am prone to comfort/bordom eating when off work ill.

    I will catch up with the podcasts again!
    My love to all the BCs.

    1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post author

      Sue, what thrilling news! Please don’t be afraid of sharing about your wonderful grandson. It is true that my path didn’t include children of my own, but I love and adore them and cherish in my heart the joy that families feel at their exciting new additions. I too freaked out around the sad anniversary, as you know from that episode. However, I’m pleased that it seemed to be a watershed for me too. I’m finally feeling more able to move on and adjust to life these days. I’m hoping you will feel some relief as well. Hooray for going to help your Mum that day. I know you will not regret that impulse, and the sharing of the memories and the moving on you shared will surely help you both.
      Dang it, I’m sorry about that extra weight. I know how discouraging that can be. But I’m so proud of your singing bravery despite these feelings and your connections with your kids, and I can say for sure your lovely grandson will love to hug you at any size. As it becomes right for you, I also believe you will find your path to deal with the food and weight. Much love back to you my dear friend, xoxoxoxox


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